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Forget the meal plan, that's not lasting. I need a therapist getting after me before I get anywhere.<br><br><br><br>
I've been restricting like mad again, can't frighten myself into eating, and when I do, I go crazy because I'm sure I'll instantly gain weight. And I'm afraid that if I'm not dramatically underweight when I go to see my doctor and therapist, they won't believe there's a problem!<br><br><br><br>
Can someone please talk to me and help me make some sense?<br><br><br><br>
EDIT: ... I should add that this is the time of day that I ALWAYS start to actually grow a brain. It's becoming so predictable. By mid-afternoon I'm so ready to recover! But then a meal rolls around and I'm back on the bus.
 

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((((((((((((((((((Keelin))))))))))))))<br><br><br><br>
Sweetheart, you don't need to frighten yourself into eating. You just need to allow yourself too.<br><br><br><br>
I don't know if this makes sense... but sometimes, when I was really sick with my ED, I had to ask my friend (someone who had been there and understood) to give me permission to eat. I desperatly, desperatly wanted to eat something, but I was terrified and didn't dare too. It helped so much if my friend told me that she loved me and that I am a good person and that I am allowed to eat, that I deserved to eat and be healthy and happy.<br><br><br><br>
Keelin, I can't know exactly what you are feeling, because I am not you... but I can guess its similar to how I felt. And I can promise you that you don't deserve this. You don't deserve this pain and misery. You deserve health and happiness and to enjoy everything you life has to offer.<br><br><br><br>
All those with EDs are the most gentle and compassionate and caring people on the planet. They are angels.<br><br><br><br>
I don't know if this will help, but I am going to tell you anyway: you are allowed to eat.
 

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oh honey <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("><br><br><br><br>
*hugs and hugs* I know exactly how you feel. please please listen to nutella. we love you and want you to get better.
 

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I know nothing about EDs, but I can give you this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/iloveyou.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lovesign:">
 

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you could be 400 pounds with an ED and a doctor would talk to you and help you. the little number on the scale shouldn't matter to the doctor. the fact that you have ED symptoms should be what is important.
 

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keelin, im so sorry it took so long for me to get to this site. my homework is driving me mental.<br><br>
im really worried about you but i wanted you to know you're not alone. at ALL. i know how you feel. i really do. and im so sorry you're struggling with this.<br><br>
i agree with all the comments above, and add about a billion buckets of warmth to those hugs on my behalf, alrightie??
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smitten.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":smitten:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/iloveyou.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lovesign:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Keelin</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Forget the meal plan, that's not lasting. I need a therapist getting after me before I get anywhere.<br><br><br><br>
I've been restricting like mad again, can't frighten myself into eating, and when I do, I go crazy because I'm sure I'll instantly gain weight. And I'm afraid that if I'm not dramatically underweight when I go to see my doctor and therapist, they won't believe there's a problem!<br><br><br><br>
Can someone please talk to me and help me make some sense?<br><br><br><br>
EDIT: ... I should add that this is the time of day that I ALWAYS start to actually grow a brain. It's becoming so predictable. By mid-afternoon I'm so ready to recover! But then a meal rolls around and I'm back on the bus.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
Let's have a couple of word about your doctor and therapist - if they don't believe in you or your problem if you aren't underweight, maybe they aren't the right persons to help you overcome your ED. Or is it rather that you're afraid, but if you tell them your problems it turn out, that they believe you and will help you? At least I wish you it's this way round.<br><br>
And as you asked for it: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/iloveyou.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lovesign:"> First I just have to tell you that.<br><br><br><br>
My symptoms are on the opposite end of the spectrum, but the problems is the same. I have a problem with the way I think about food and I have a problem with keeping my thoughts consistant. Making myself do a thing I should do. Ain't it a real mountain to climb? You are not a failure as long as you keep picking yourself up and starting again.<br><br><br><br>
I gather you need to gain a bit.<br><br>
I needed to loose. I have been on my face and back up so many times you would think I was trying to learn to do push ups, but in almost 6 years, I haved lost 92 lbs. People would say, "You have you stomach stapled. I thought it was supposed to be faster than that." I would just want to cry, because I had though it would be faster than this too. Well, it just wasn't. The is the hand I was dealt. But I am getting there. I may do a couple more push ups before I loose this last 50 lbs. But if I don't quit.....<br><br><br><br>
Don't quit, sweetheart. No retreat! No surrender! Keep getting up!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><br><br><br><br>
Hang in there!
 

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I don't know if this will help, but I really doubt a doctor or therapist would ignore your concerns about eating disorders just because you aren't drastically underweight.<br><br><br><br>
I'm in therapy for a panic disorder right now; my therapist took it very seriously when I admitted that I sometimes restrict food and I'm certainly not very underweight.<br><br><br><br>
I don't think it's an issue health professionals take lightly and any doctor or therapist worth his/her salt should want to help you regardless of the number on the scale.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 
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