[ninja_wolf]

A few months back I met someone in a grocery store while buying my favorite Amy's Kitchen frozen dinner. We hit it off when we discovered that we both didn't eat meat and loved nature stuff. We talked for a bit, I told her about how I wanted to study the environment and was an advocate for my dad's vegetarian lifestyle, she told me she was trying to visit every state at least once, mostly traveling by bike. She also told me she was trying to go Vegan and I gave her my support, saying she was stronger than I (because I still have a severe weakness for cheese). We promised to look each other up on facebook and went our separate ways. We talked a couple times on facebook after that, mostly about where she was now and what she was doing on her trip....

....then a few months ago she dropped a bomb and I'm still feeling hurt. She posted on facebook that she'd eaten bacon for the first time in 15 years, was calling off going vegan, and pretty much implied she was gonna go back to being an omnivore. I feel silly that this is getting to me like this.... pretty much all my friends are omnivores after all, but it almost feels like she turned her back on me. Worse, I feel like a freaking hypocrite because I still occasionally will reach for something with meat in it if I'm limited in options. I get so disappointed when I hear stuff like this in general, but with a friend its even worse. It also makes me wonder if I'm any better considering how lax I am. Obviously I'd like to think I am but I just don't know. *SIGH*

 

[Clueless Git]

The saying "fall down seven times get up eight" comes to mind Ninja_Wolf.

Jist being that the 'crime' is not so much to fall off of the wagon but to not get straight back on it and try again.

 

[TailFin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clueless Git

The saying "fall down seven times get up eight" comes to mind Ninja_Wolf.

Jist being that the 'crime' is not so much to fall off of the wagon but to not get straight back on it and try again.

I concur!

When I'm limited in options, I typically pick one of the limited options.

Kidding. I tend to only eat at vegetarian-friendly eateries. Yes, I make my omnivore friends go to vegetarian-friendly places. If they don't have enough respect for me and my ways, they can go their own way.

 

[ElaineV]

I suggest you tell her how disappointed you are in her and that you had more faith in her. Remind her that you see her as a strong person who is able to stand up for what is right, what is just, and what is noble. Ask if you can help her stay true to her compassionate self by helping her find veg food along her travels. And remind her that when she comes back to her senses she will have your full support.

Then, let go and move on. Try to find other veg friends that you connect with.

I know this is hard. It will happen a lot. People are fickle and frustrating. Be strong.

 

[Trippy]

I'll admit, sometimes it's a little lonely not really having friends that share your views. The best we can do sometimes is to try not to be too critical and hope that maybe a few of them will see the light. It is surprising that someone would give it up after 15 years, though. I hear a lot of veg*ns that try to go back after a long time find that meat tastes much heavier and greasier than they remember, so there's always hope!
In the meantime, I really hope you do find someone who shares your compassion for veg*nism.

 

[Ira]

I can understand you. one time my only vegetarian friend got drunk with me and started craving McDonalds, so he went there. i was soooo mad! all the way there i tried to convince him not to ("if you do that at least don't eat that garbage, get something good tomorrow!" hoping that next day he will be fine). and when he got his burger i got out of the car and walked home at 4am. he is still a vegetarian btw, doesn't cheat anymore. and it was sad to see a girl i know who was a very outspoken vegan and activist posting bbq pic of herself since she is an omni now. And i did feel like a hypocrite as well because she was a vegan for a while, and me just making small steps there.

but yeah, i think we just feel as if someone who was on our "team", already understod our reasons and agreed with them suddenly changes their mind and it is harder to grasp and accept than our friends who still didn't get it. this is one of the things we don't share with many, so it adds a sort of "special connection".

i think people who suggested before are right about trying to make more vegetarian friends. i know it isn't easy in all places, but this site is also great help

 

[ocrob37]

It does not really sound like you know this person well enough to be so critical. Also, it is up to her what she chooses to eat. All you can do is be a good friend and expect the same in return.

 

[vMaryv]

Sounds like you can sympathize with her cravings. You can tell just that; you are sympathetic and you hope she doesn't give up completely. Maybe you can make a challenge between the two of you that will help her stay motivated. I don't think this is a reason to drop a friend. Her leaning towards being omni is nothing to do with you and only to do with herself.

 

[Freesia]

I think a number of people who fall off their vegetarian diets come back to it. So there is hope....

 

[Minniesmom]

I agree with "people come back to a vegetarian lifestyle". I think a lot of people don't realize that it IS hard to stand by their convictions sometimes and its quite easy to fall back into what you've BEEN comfortable with in the past. Change is hard! Standing by your beliefs can be hard. I think everyone on these boards have, at times, "fall off the wagon". But the strength comes to jump right back on. You are a strong person and maybe the time just wasn't right for her, but obviously it is for you. You are now the role model. Let her know that you are surprised about her decision to return to eating meat, but obviously she has her reasons and you will support her in that decision. And that you will be right there when and if she decides to return to a vegetarian way.

I think the thing that turns many people off is they think we are all these military people who ram our beliefs down other people's throats. I believe in being the example and if they ask about my reasons for being vegetarian, I will tell. I don't want someone else forcing me to eat meat - and I won't force them to give it up. Balance.