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I was away for eight weeks this summer and saw my boyfriend very rarely... I didn't keep in touch as well as I could have/should have, but I was distracted and didn't get many opportunities to. Now that I'm back I am extremely busy getting ready to go back to school in a few weeks, and I haven't gotten to see him much... And I can tell it is hurting him that I am not spending time with him or at least TALKING to him -- but I'm not talking to anyone else, either. I'm becoming a hermit, which is terrible, but there you are. He thinks it is just him... We hit a rough patch a few weeks back and I almost broke up with him before I realized that I was making a terrible mistake... I think he still thinks that I want to break it off and is interpreting my distance lately to himself. That couldn't be more untrue. On top of everything, a bunch of my friends went over and surprised him at work right before closing because it was his last night, and I got the message too late and was not there. Though it was through no fault of my own, I feel horribly guilty.<br><br><br><br>
To top it all off, the same thing is happening with one of my best friends. I was really distant all spring (I had a TERRIBLE spring) and haven't talked to her all summer and I think she's finally had enough. I don't know what to do to make it up to her.<br><br><br><br>
I feel terrible. This was just a horrible night.<br><br><br><br>
Forgive me... I needed to vent.
 

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Your not a jerk just busy<br><br><br><br>
chiaraluna perhaps you should talk to him explain that you don't want to break up with him that your just busy and perhaps try to do productive things together so that at least you can spend time together. Meal times are always good too since you both have to eat when not eat out together.
 

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Relationships are largely about focusing attention on the other person. If you can't find the time to make your boyfriend feel like he is an important part of your life I think the kind thing to do would be to let him go. If you want to keep him, start focusing on him.<br><br>
You can choose to become a hermit if that's what makes you happy, or whatever it is you want to be, but you can't expect people to feel satisfied when your not physically or emotionally available to them. Perhaps you two could decide to see other people so he won't have to depend on you for something you're unwilling to give him.
 

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People get busy. It happens. Just make sure you give the people you care about a call once in a while to explain, then hopefully in the near future you can hang out more often.<br><br><br><br>
It's good to let the person you're dating know how you're feeling, even if it is something like "I'm trying to sort out my life right now, so I'm sorry if I'm keeping a distance." Just so he knows. If he loves you he'll understand and wait for you to not be so busy.
 

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If you are too busy to spend time w/ him the best thing to do is break it off--or start spending more time w/ him. You may love him, but that is a sign that you need to focus on yourself right now. It doesn't make you a jerk--just human. It happens, but the best thing to do is to make the decision to spend time w/ him, or break up w/ him. Personally, if you really love someone you shouldn't have to "try" so hard to spend time together--b/c it will happen naturally. I know it sucks, but it's your life and you should do what makes YOU happy.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)">
 
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