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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
anyone else feel this way? i know i'm only 22 so things could change but i literally cannot see myself getting married or having children. i know i'm crushing my mother's dream, but i'm just not a settle-down-and-live-the-american-dream type person. any future i've ever seen for myself has not included being tied down like that (i don't mean that it's a bad thing, but just for me i think it is unrealistic and i would feel trapped).
 

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Herbivorous Urchin
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I'm twenty, and i never want kids for many reasons.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>River</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2847642"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I'm twenty, and i never want kids for many reasons.</div>
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interesting. i think i would be slightly more likely to change my mind on children, but i definitely don't think marriage is for me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Herbivorous Urchin
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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>erin0988</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2847649"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
interesting. i think i would be slightly more likely to change my mind on children, but i definitely don't think marriage is for me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"></div>
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Haha i'm the opposite, i'm a little warmer to marriage than kids.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>River</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2847652"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Haha i'm the opposite, i'm a little warmer to marriage than kids.</div>
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lol i don't know, the whole idea of a "lifetime commitment" either way sounds pretty brutal i think. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:">
 

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Unintentionally Kittened
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I absolutely do not want children but marriage i don't feel that strongly one way or the other. I'm 23 and a lot of my former classmates are married or getting married soon, if that's what they want- great for them but it's definitely something i don't want right now. And there are a lot of people who don't accept my feelings, <a href="http://7deadlysinners.typepad.com/sinners/2006/04/breeder_bingo_c.html" target="_blank">breeder bingo</a> anyone?
 

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I don't want either, especially children and i am 28. so if i change my mind i should do it soon, lol<br><br>
sometimes i wonder how it would be to have a family and that i would like to try it. but to me it seems the same when i think how it would be to live in a village, work as a stripper etc etc.<br>
basically things i would like to try as experience but 3 months later get out of it because it is not for me. and this is not the way to go into marriage or kids, lol. i mean one can change the mind, get divoced, leave the kid with a guy (hey, its niot always the woman who should keep the kid), but it is a douchebaggy thing to plan it ahead <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> so no kids for me<br><br>
as for marriage...i don't believe in marriage itself. it is a silly social institution. i don't mind to find someone who would fit me as a person though. i won't say that i am actively looking, but i am a bit and if there is a guy who is just like me i won't mind it. but i ama very happy as a single. my friend told me during my last relationship thjat she can't wait until we break up because she wants me to be happy again.lol. and itis kind of true, dating makes me exhausted, unhappy and trapped
 

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I'm 37, been married, now divorced. Never wanted kids, never had kids, very happy about that. When I was in high school I didn't think I wanted marriage. Got married because I thought I had changed my mind. It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I dropped out of college to support him. Finally finished my degree when I was 28 and in the end he left me.<br><br>
If you don't want to get married, dont. I have been divorced 4 years now and am very happy being single. There is incredible pressure to be married and have kids. I have people even at my age telling me that I might find the right man and can still have children with him. They don't seem to realize that being happy comes in many forms.<br><br>
Your mother has her life to live her dreams with. If she gave that up, then that is her life, it is not her place to impose her dreams onto you. Don't let her live through you. You have your life to live and it is up to you how you live it. In the end when you are old and grey and frail, you want to be able to look back at your life with no regrets, only lessons learned from choices you made.
 

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ETA:^^^^ +1<br><br>
I'm 20. I don't want kids. Period. Would much rather spend my life saving the kids in tough situation already brought up to this world in shelters and in pauvrety than to contribute to the sadness of the world. When I'm old I think i'll turn my home into an animal shelter and those would be my kids.<br>
I don't mind marriage though. If you feel stuck you divorce, I don't know what's the big deal. I like love and at least we are both consenting adults.<br>
When I look at kids, specially young kids (like 1-4 year olds) I see the same look in their eyes as when I look at animals and mistreated farm animals. The world is a cruel place. You don't have to create a loved one and expose it to this atrocity just because you weren't neutered/spayed (yes just like non human animals) or because "you feel you need to complete your family". The world is over populated with humans and they never asked to be born. They all were reshaped to fit the mold and forced by life to accept it.<br><br>
Most people don't approve of my opinion, it doesn't make it any less MY OWN CHOICE.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>syzygy</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2847661"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I'm 37, been married, now divorced. Never wanted kids, never had kids, very happy about that. When I was in high school I didn't think I wanted marriage. Got married because I thought I had changed my mind. It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I dropped out of college to support him. Finally finished my degree when I was 28 and in the end he left me.<br><br>
If you don't want to get married, dont. I have been divorced 4 years now and am very happy being single. There is incredible pressure to be married and have kids. I have people even at my age telling me that I might find the right man and can still have children with him. They don't seem to realize that being happy comes in many forms.<br><br>
Your mother has her life to live her dreams with. If she gave that up, then that is her life, it is not her place to impose her dreams onto you. Don't let her live through you. You have your life to live and it is up to you how you live it. In the end when you are old and grey and frail, you want to be able to look back at your life with no regrets, only lessons learned from choices you made.</div>
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i agree with you 100%. i certainly enjoy being in relationships, but i think the amount of pressure that comes from marriage is just unrealistic, nothing lasts forever. people change all the time. i feel like if i were to get married i would probably elope LOL. the institution of marriage is really just a piece of paper that legally binds you to someone, imo. but, i'm just a really freespirited person i guess. i'm studying sociology at school and i have one class that is all about the institution of family and i think i was 1 of 2 or 3 people to raise their hands when asked if any of us did NOT plan on getting married.<br><br>
you're right- my mother has always said she wont be happy until all 3 of her daughters are married and have children. nothing to me says entrapment more than an 18+ year deal with a child and lifetime with husband/wife lmao. (sorry mom!)
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>NAGEV</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2847668"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
ETA:^^^^ +1<br><br>
I'm 20. I don't want kids. Period. Would much rather spend my life saving the kids in tough situation already brought up to this world in shelters and in pauvrety than to contribute to the sadness of the world. When I'm old I think i'll turn my home into an animal shelter and those would be my kids.<br>
I don't mind marriage though. If you feel stuck you divorce, I don't know what's the big deal. I like love and at least we are both consenting adults.<br>
When I look at kids, specially young kids (like 1-4 year olds) I see the same look in their eyes as when I look at animals and mistreated farm animals. The world is a cruel place. You don't have to create a loved one and expose it to this atrocity just because you weren't neutered/spayed (yes just like non human animals) or because "you feel you need to complete your family". The world is over populated with humans and they never asked to be born. They all were reshaped to fit the mold and forced by life to accept it.<br><br>
Most people don't approve of my opinion, it doesn't make it any less MY OWN CHOICE.</div>
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i approve of your opinion <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:">. i think a lot of people equate singlehood and child"less"ness with being "alone". regardless of whether you have a significant other or a child, you still have family in like 20 000 different ways (friends, siblings, other relatives, pets, etc.).
 

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I'm 33 and NEVER want kids. I can compile a big long list of reasons why. I won't ever be changing my mind. Kids are a huge life alterating responsibility and I think there are a lot of people out there who don't really realize that until it's too late <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("><br><br>
I don't really care either way about the marriage thing but I do know for certain that I would never want a big wedding or any wedding at all for that matter. Weddings just seem like a tremendous waste of money to me. I cringe everytime someone talks about all the thousands of dollars they spend on their weddings.<br><br>
The whole American dream, "white picket fence, marriage, children" thing was never something I dreamt about having.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>erin0988</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2847675"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
you're right- my mother has always said she wont be happy until all 3 of her daughters are married and have children. nothing to me says entrapment more than an 18+ year deal with a child and lifetime with husband/wife lmao. (sorry mom!)</div>
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my god is she greedy, lol. most parents are fine if they get at least one grandchild <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>erin0988</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2847675"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
you're right- my mother has always said she wont be happy until all 3 of her daughters are married and have children. nothing to me says entrapment more than an 18+ year deal with a child and lifetime with husband/wife lmao. (sorry mom!)</div>
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Tell her you'll have them for her if she raises them <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> I bet if you told her that its not what you want, she'll be fine with it. She probably just assumed that will make your life complete and happy.
 

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From faded_amaranth's link:<br><br><img alt="" src="http://7deadlysinners.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/breeder_bingo.jpg" style="border:0px solid;">
 

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I am happily married and I and my husband are planning on having a family a few of our own and take some unwanted children in future. You know no one is pressuring you of what you don't want to do however, a Marriage is for having children and having a family. A Marriage should not mean your tied down and couldn't do nothing. There are couples out there that does things together, like hiking, camping, volunteer with things and also attend a place of worship. Its not a big problem marriage is and we were created to get married and have children.<br>
I think society is playing a big role of deceiving people out of having children, Children has to have the lastest toys, latest outfits, go to the movies be in everything out there. You don't need to put a child into things that will overwhelm them or your wallet.<br>
Its good for the ones that don't want natural children but later in life you want to take in unwanted children. However , I do believe 23 is a very young age of thinking you don't want children you have 25 or more years with child bearing years and I do believe you should not do anything drastic that you will regret later in life , at the moment you don't want any children and get married but you might find someone out there that will make you change your mind.
 

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That's the way i felt in my 20's. never thought i'd find my equal. now i'm such a hypocrite. and it's wonderful!!!
 
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