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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
HE: Can I buy you a drink?<br><br>
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.<br><br><br><br>
HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.<br><br>
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.<br><br><br><br>
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?<br><br>
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.<br><br><br><br>
HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?<br><br>
SHE: I must've been given your share.<br><br><br><br>
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.<br><br>
SHE: Okay, get out.<br><br><br><br>
HE: I think I could make you very happy.<br><br>
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?<br><br><br><br>
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?<br><br>
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.<br><br><br><br>
HE: Can I have your name?<br><br>
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?<br><br><br><br>
HE: Shall we go see a movie?<br><br>
SHE: I've already seen it.<br><br><br><br>
HE: Where have you been all my life?<br><br>
SHE: Hiding from you.<br><br><br><br>
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?<br><br>
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.<br><br><br><br>
HE: Is this seat empty?<br><br>
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.<br><br><br><br>
HE: So, what do you do for a living?<br><br>
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.<br><br><br><br>
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?<br><br>
SHE: Do not enter.<br><br><br><br>
HE: Your body is like a temple.<br><br>
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.<br><br><br><br>
HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.<br><br>
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.<br><br><br><br>
HE: Where have you been all my life?<br><br>
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.
 

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I love it, I love it, I love it!!! LOL... I'm gonna have to remember these for sure. They would come in awfully handy at times.
 

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HE: So, what do you do for a living?<br><br>
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.<br><br><br><br>
I will use this one for sure! (no one will believe it, though.)
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
hah good one.
 

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Anyone got good ideas for responses to the "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" line? The males in my town are SO unoriginal. They must get together and decide on the stupidest lines, and then all of them use those lines.
 

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the 'you smell good' line had a big affect on me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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I always have a difficult time with the 'Are you Married' line. Umm, no, I'm not married.<br><br><br><br>
"Well then (moves in closer)"<br><br><br><br>
"But I do have a boyfriend"<br><br><br><br>
"If you have a boyfriend, where is he now and why are you talking to me"?<br><br><br><br>
*bangs self on head*
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by skylark</i><br><br><b>Anyone got good ideas for responses to the "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" line?</b></div>
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<br><br><br>
Well, I don't know how "good" these responses are, but two that come to mind are:<br><br><br><br>
1) "No hablo ingles, Señor."<br><br><br><br>
2) "How sweet of you to say that. Heaven is a place where one feels close to God. And I feel especially close to God when I attend services at The Church of ________ on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. Would you care to attend church with me? Or could I interest you in our church publication, the ClockTower? Vitally important information for just a 25 cent donation." Yadda yadda yadda.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by LadyFaile</i><br><br><b>HE: Can I buy you a drink?<br><br>
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.<br><br></b></div>
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<br><br><br>
I was at a nightclub once (I hate nightclubs but wanted to be with some friends) and two women began talking to me; eventually they asked "aren't you going to offer to buy us a drink?"<br><br>
I took out my wallet, removed a couple of dollars, handed them to them and said "get whatever you want" and walked away. *L*<br><br>
They saw me at other times during the night and kept waving and ****.... but I didn't have any time for them.
 

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Joe,<br><br>
I LOVE THOSE!!! If some idiot tries the "fell from Heaven" line on me again, I just might whip out my version of your suggestions.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by skylark</i><br><br><b>Anyone got good ideas for responses to the "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" line?</b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?<br><br>
No. Did it hurt when you crawled out from under your rock?
 

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I asked a chick if she would sleep with me for a million dollars.<br><br><br><br>
She said "of course".<br><br><br><br>
I then asked if she would sleep with me for $10.<br><br><br><br>
She got angry and said, "No! What kind of woman do you think I am?"<br><br><br><br>
I said, "Honey we've already established want kind of woman you are, and now I'm just negotiating." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/pimp.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":tame:">
 

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How weird is it that just yesterday my Philosophy of Religion professor, in the course of discussing God's omniscence, told the same joke <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/inquisitive.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":stinkeye:">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by Tame</i><br><br><b>I asked a chick if she would sleep with me for a million dollars.<br><br><br><br>
She said "of course".<br><br><br><br>
I then asked if she would sleep with me for $10.<br><br><br><br>
She got angry and said, "No! What kind of woman do you think I am?"<br><br><br><br>
I said, "Honey we've already established want kind of woman you are, and now I'm just negotiating." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/pimp.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":tame:"></b></div>
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<br>
This reminds me of a scene from the movie Shadows and Fog (by woody allen) there is a funny scene where a very cute John Cusack is trying to get a woman to have sex with him for money. Watch the movie.
 
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