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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm sure this topic comes up from time to time. I did a brief search and didn't find it.<br><br>
This is my first year as a vegetarian. I'm not going back to eating meat. The holidays are coming. We will be visiting family and they will have ten different kinds of meat. How do you gracefully back away from the meats without offending? Not that I really give a sh!t about being offensive. Kidding.... I guess I do like to keep the peace.<br><br>
Anyway, I know that, no matter what I say, my Mom is gonna cook a huge pot of this stew that I once loved. It's loaded up with veggies and polish sausage. She's gonna cook that for me. I thought I would just eat the veggies but, the stew is still reeking with grease from the sausage. And, the whole point is that I'm opposed to the killing of the pig that brings the sausage to the pot in the first place. See what I'm saying? I will say look, "I don't eat meat" and she will cook it anyway cause I'm a dumass and don't know what I'm sayin.<br><br>
So, I'll have to decline the whole friggin thing. Which pisses me off. It's a downward spiral.<br><br>
Then, my mother-in-law, who is an incredible cook, will cook up something fancy and meaty. I have told them several times that I don't eat meat. I don't like meat. It's not good for you. And so forth.. And yet, there it will be, a perfectly cooked something dead.<br><br>
How about a nice green bean casserole with onions and mushrooms? Or sweet potatoes? Or, squash casserole, anything but flesh?<br><br>
Any pointers on dealing with Moms who want to keep the holidays like they were in 1965?
 

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Well, first of all, you should tell them in advance that you have cut meat out of your diet, so ask her not to cook any of these things on your account, because you won't be eating it anymore. As you said, she might do it anyway, not taking you seriously. If you want her to take you seriously in the future, you have to stand your ground and not eat it. "Mom, I told you that I don't eat meat anymore. Please don't be insulted, but I'm not going to eat this."<br><br>
Definitely offer to do some cooking yourself, so you're not sitting there eating nothing. And bring enough of whatever it is to share. It's easy to get full on vegetarian sides that are usually present at holiday meals, like mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, other vegetables, cranberry sauce, and dessert of course.<br><br>
It's always a good idea to avoid the subject of <i>why</i> you're a vegetarian, because it obviously puts the meat-eaters on the defensive. As gracefully as you can avoid it, I would suggest doing that. And if they insist on knowing, explain it to them in the most polite way possible, and then at the end of your explanation, say, "I don't really like talking about while people are eating. I don't want you to feel like I'm judging you, but you asked."
 

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Eating large holiday meals with the family can be a little stressful. These are the people we love and nobody wants to hurt anybody's feelings, but holiday feasts are things centered around tradition, which for most people means meat. Definitely let them know (or remind them) ahead of time that you won't be eating meat. I second the idea of offering to do some of the cooking and bringing enough to share. Perhaps you could even look for a main dish you could prepare that could take the place of meat for you. Who knows, some of your family may decide to try it out. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
If they insist on bringing up your vegetarianism, you can always offer to discuss it with them later, after the meal is over.<br><br>
If you're interested, this article has a few ideas you might be able to use for veg*n dishes for Thanksgiving: <a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/vegan-thanksgiving-recipes.html" target="_blank">http://www.care2.com/greenliving/veg...g-recipes.html</a>
 

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Make and bring something completely utterly fabulous to eat as your main course. I brought a nut roast i made to my first family holiday dinner...and everyone else ate it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>falconbrother</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3006653"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I'm sure this topic comes up from time to time. I did a brief search and didn't find it.<br><br>
This is my first year as a vegetarian. I'm not going back to eating meat. The holidays are coming. We will be visiting family and they will have ten different kinds of meat. How do you gracefully back away from the meats without offending? Not that I really give a sh!t about being offensive. Kidding.... I guess I do like to keep the peace.<br><br><b>Anyway, I know that, no matter what I say, my Mom is gonna cook a huge pot of this stew that I once loved. It's loaded up with veggies and polish sausage. She's gonna cook that for me. I thought I would just eat the veggies but, the stew is still reeking with grease from the sausage. And, the whole point is that I'm opposed to the killing of the pig that brings the sausage to the pot in the first place. See what I'm saying? I will say look, "I don't eat meat" and she will cook it anyway cause I'm a dumass and don't know what I'm sayin.</b><br><br>
So, I'll have to decline the whole friggin thing. Which pisses me off. It's a downward spiral.<br><br>
Then, my mother-in-law, who is an incredible cook, will cook up something fancy and meaty. <b>I have told them several times that I don't eat meat. I don't like meat. It's not good for you. And so forth.. And yet, there it will be, a perfectly cooked something dead.</b><br><br>
How about a nice green bean casserole with onions and mushrooms? Or sweet potatoes? Or, squash casserole, anything but flesh?<br><br>
Any pointers on dealing with Moms who want to keep the holidays like they were in 1965?</div>
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My advice is to bring several vegetarian sides with you, and make enough for everyone, since it will definately be the first thing to go. You could bring a quinoa dish with veggies in it (a quinoa pilaf, if you will), perhaps mashed potatoes with a mushroom gravy. A good place to go for ideas is vegetariantimes. com, which has a great recipe selection, including the holidays. Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I think that I will bring plenty of veggie food. That way it wont get so awkward. That's a good idea. I know I'm gonna get the 20 questions about why I don't eat meat. Meal time is a bad time to answer that question. I find that meat eaters get pissed when you start talking about the suffering, terror, pain, selfishness and destruction that they are stuffing in their faces.
 

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i get pissed when the meat eaters ask me why i dont eat meat <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>falconbrother</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3006905"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I think that I will bring plenty of veggie food. That way it wont get so awkward. That's a good idea. I know I'm gonna get the 20 questions about why I don't eat meat. Meal time is a bad time to answer that question. I find that meat eaters get pissed when you start talking about the suffering, terror, pain, selfishness and destruction that they are stuffing in their faces.</div>
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Great idea, I suggest bringing in the your own fod as well. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
If they start asking you why you don't eat meat during the meal time, and you don't want to go into it, simply tell them "for my health, for the animals, and for the enviroment." It's really a simple answer that says a lot. If they want to hear more tell them that after dinner you would be glad to go more into it with them.
 

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I get tired of the endless questions and sometimes just answer why with because "I am an adult and I dont WANT to". I will never understand why what i eat or dont eat is of so much concern to others
 

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It's best to be upfront about it as soon as possible because I've seen it get really awkward as time goes on for vegetarians who try to skip around it without causing offense.<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Purp</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3006806"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
My advice is to bring several vegetarian sides with you, and make enough for everyone, since it will definately be the first thing to go.</div>
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Hell yeh. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Bring in at least one great veggie dish so you know you will have something to eat and others won't feel bad if they didn't make anything.<br><br>
It's very likely that someone will ask you about not eating meat. This is the main reason I hate going to family gatherings. I can't be myself around the people who are supposed to love me the most. I've never brought it up at gatherings but somehow someone always says something.
 

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Try to inform the people that will be cooking for you beforehand that you're vegetarian and will not eat meat. Also make it clear that this includes meat dishes that have had the meat picked out at the last minute! If you are an ethically motivated vegetarian and you are served meat, you will have to decline it if you want to stick to your principles. It's socially easier to just go along and not draw attention to yourself, but I don't feel it's the right thing to do.
 
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