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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I came to this board just to ask this, so I haven't introduced myself so far. I'm not a native speaker so please excuse any weird language in this post.
I stopped eating animals when I was maybe 12 or 13 and I've become vegan about 2.5 years ago. There are many reasons for this (I'm sure you know them all) but if I'm honest, the main issue for me is emotional, not logical. I just like animals a lot and I can't stand how they're killed for no good reason, and especially not for us to eat their dead bodies. I know that lots animals die in plant cultivation, too, and that even I could avoid more and generally pay more attention. But as I said, my red rag is the meat, not even the milk and eggs, because it has the closest emotional association to the actual animal for me.
Now to the problem. I don't have any close veg*n friends actually, except for my boyfriend who is vegan, and an ex-vegetarian friend who now eats fish again. I have kind of a problem with all of them eating meat. But there's one guy that I get most upset about, because he's very important to me. I know him from the internet and we live about 800 km apart. He will probably never stop eating meat, he doesn't want to give it up and he also has no other social reason except for me, since his girlfriend and other (local) friends are all omnivores.
I have probably told him enough stuff about what I believe/feel already. He has watched scenes from "Earthlings". He has read articles. He's even visited a slaughterhouse and witnessed reality in a way that I wouldn't be able to bear. He is a pretty good cook and he knows how to cook vegan and vegetarian dishes and does so several times a week. He eats only vegan on the rare occassions where we meet in real life. He shares my fascination for animals and nature in general. He probably understands my basic reasons.
And yet he stays omnivorous (I think he only buys the "better" kinds of meat, not the worst factory farm stuff, but still). I think he would be able to kill an animal to eat. So there's nothing to do about that and it's his decision anyway.
The problem with this is actually me. I can't cope with this fact. I get very upset about this every time I think about it. Not eating a dead animal is so natural and easy to me, even though I used to like the taste as a kid. But it's just not food to me anymore. It's a kind of violence, yet my friend takes part of this and he's on the side of the social mainstream and I'm the one with the actual problem.
I haven't come up with a solution by myself, so I'm asking you for help. What can I do to stop feeling so bad about this? Should I tell him how extremely much this actually means to me (I guess he doesn't know about the full extent)? I can't imagine how that would change anything for the better. I really don't know what to do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by delicioso View Post

It's normal to want to share core values with people we are close to. Maybe you could look at him as having potential, as you did? If you stay in his life and on good terms, you have the greatest possible chance of positively influencing him.
Well, I have influenced him already, but I'm on the limit now. He knows just about everything. He's not like the average uninformed omnivore. What he does is right to him.

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Originally Posted by luvourmother View Post

you can't control what other people eat.
I know, that's why my question was how I could cope, not what he should or shouldn't do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
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Originally Posted by luvourmother View Post

acceptance is the best way to "cope" with your friend eating meat. you have to learn to accept that your friends eat meat.
You're right. Do you have an idea what I should tell myself? Because to accept it is what I've been trying to do, it just works if I don't think about it too hard. If I do, I fail.

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Originally Posted by luvourmother View Post

seems like you have been trying to persuade your friend to stop eating meat.
Yeah
But I think he understands why I did it. And he knows that I know that it wouldn't work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvourmother View Post

people eat meat for a lot of different reasons, if you are trying to appeal to a certain person its good for you to understand why they like to eat meat. most of the time its emotional and cultural. and most of the time people change on their own at their own pace.
I can understand it intellectually, but not on the emotional level. And yes, I will continue to hope for what you said in that last sentence.
 
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