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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So far my adventure with veganism has been incredibly fulfilling for me. I truly can't believe how easy it is! (Seriously, why did no one tell me? haha) I am so happy with my diet and I honestly am starting to not even think about it anymore, its just something automatic. Despite how much I love my new diet, my boyfriend doesn't feel the same.<br><br>
I was l/o veg when we started dating 2 years ago so he's never had a problem with that. Once we moved in together there's been hardly any meat in the house, we both buy vegetarian meat (he loves out easy it is to cook and how good it tastes). I had been dreaming of going vegan for awhile, it sounds weird but I never thought I could. I grew up in a house that loves cheese and dairy. I bought the Skinny ***** book on a whim, ended up loving it by the end. The next day I went vegan. I tried to get my boyfriend to buy the male version (Skinny *******, we've been dieting together since Christmas so I thought he would like it), or at least listen to my reasonings for going vegan. He listened politely but I could tell he wasn't very convinced.<br><br>
After about a month, he seems a bit annoyed with my new diet. He hates we can't just order pizza or eat ice cream. I asked him what was wrong, he says he doesn't like my new restrictions because it means I don't want to go to certain restaurants and when we go out now I have to scour the menu for food and settle on a salad. Today he actually made the joke "you should just eat meat". I know he was kidding, but he's never said it before and he should know I'll never eat meat again.<br><br>
This post is turning really long but my point is has anyone struggled with this before? It's like, trying to conform to "normal" life as a vegan. My diet/lifestyle is my choice and I don't like wearing a giant banner saying "I'm vegan! treat me special!" I even feel weird telling people I went vegan. is that normal? haha Like I said, I'm very happy and don't plan on going back but how do you deal with the obvious resistance you face from the omnivores?<br><br>
<3<br>
Heather
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>heatherann1220</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2836562"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
So far my adventure with veganism has been incredibly fulfilling for me. I truly can't believe how easy it is! (Seriously, why did no one tell me? haha) I am so happy with my diet and I honestly am starting to not even think about it anymore, its just something automatic. Despite how much I love my new diet, my boyfriend doesn't feel the same.<br><br>
I was l/o veg when we started dating 2 years ago so he's never had a problem with that. Once we moved in together there's been hardly any meat in the house, we both buy vegetarian meat (he loves out easy it is to cook and how good it tastes). I had been dreaming of going vegan for awhile, it sounds weird but I never thought I could. I grew up in a house that loves cheese and dairy. I bought the Skinny ***** book on a whim, ended up loving it by the end. The next day I went vegan. I tried to get my boyfriend to buy the male version (Skinny *******, we've been dieting together since Christmas so I thought he would like it), or at least listen to my reasonings for going vegan. He listened politely but I could tell he wasn't very convinced.<br><br>
After about a month, he seems a bit annoyed with my new diet. He hates we can't just order pizza or eat ice cream. I asked him what was wrong, he says he doesn't like my new restrictions because it means I don't want to go to certain restaurants and when we go out now I have to scour the menu for food and settle on a salad. Today he actually made the joke "you should just eat meat". I know he was kidding, but he's never said it before and he should know I'll never eat meat again.<br><br>
This post is turning really long but my point is has anyone struggled with this before? It's like, trying to conform to "normal" life as a vegan. My diet/lifestyle is my choice and I don't like wearing a giant banner saying "I'm vegan! treat me special!" I even feel weird telling people I went vegan. is that normal? haha Like I said, I'm very happy and don't plan on going back but how do you deal with the obvious resistance you face from the omnivores?<br><br>
<3<br>
Heather</div>
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I don't surround myself with unsupportive people. It's your body, your life, your choice. Therefore, if people decide to get annoyed with me, they are clearly unsupportive people. I don't ask people to treat me special, or work around me, i can fend for myself very well (and bring snacks when necessary).<br><br>
"Remove unsupportive people from your life, they are bad for the soul."
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>heatherann1220</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2836562"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
So far my adventure with veganism has been incredibly fulfilling for me. I truly can't believe how easy it is! (Seriously, why did no one tell me? haha) I am so happy with my diet and I honestly am starting to not even think about it anymore, its just something automatic. Despite how much I love my new diet, my boyfriend doesn't feel the same.<br><br>
I was l/o veg when we started dating 2 years ago so he's never had a problem with that. Once we moved in together there's been hardly any meat in the house, we both buy vegetarian meat (he loves out easy it is to cook and how good it tastes). I had been dreaming of going vegan for awhile, it sounds weird but I never thought I could. I grew up in a house that loves cheese and dairy. I bought the Skinny ***** book on a whim, ended up loving it by the end. The next day I went vegan. I tried to get my boyfriend to buy the male version (Skinny *******, we've been dieting together since Christmas so I thought he would like it), or at least listen to my reasonings for going vegan. He listened politely but I could tell he wasn't very convinced.<br><br>
After about a month, he seems a bit annoyed with my new diet. He hates we can't just order pizza or eat ice cream. I asked him what was wrong, he says he doesn't like my new restrictions because it means I don't want to go to certain restaurants and when we go out now I have to scour the menu for food and settle on a salad. Today he actually made the joke "you should just eat meat". I know he was kidding, but he's never said it before and he should know I'll never eat meat again.<br><br>
This post is turning really long but my point is has anyone struggled with this before? It's like, trying to conform to "normal" life as a vegan. My diet/lifestyle is my choice and I don't like wearing a giant banner saying "I'm vegan! treat me special!" I even feel weird telling people I went vegan. is that normal? haha Like I said, I'm very happy and don't plan on going back but how do you deal with the obvious resistance you face from the omnivores?<br><br>
<3<br>
Heather</div>
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I don't get an awful lot of resistance, other than jokey remarks. But they're definitely in jest and they don't bother me; if I found them annoying, my friends would stop.<br><br>
But the fitting in thing is easy. Order your pizza without cheese and with extra veggies. It tastes amazing, trust me. Even my omni boyfriend was drooling over my pizza when we went out to eat and I had one covered in mushrooms and peppers and sweetcorn. There are vegan ice-creams out there too, and some of them are delicious. I dunno exactly which brands are available in the states, but I'm sure someone else could tell you. There are certain restaurants that are completely useless for vegans, it's true, but a quick call ahead usually solves most problems. A lot of places will make you up something from other menu items, such as a stir fry, or a burger with mushrooms/veggies in place of the burger. Try more oriental places; indian/asian/mexican places are a lot easier to tailor to a vegan diet due the the amount of vegetables already in the food and the lack of eggs/dairy those cultures tend to use. It's not always going to be the most exciting meal, but it's usually way better than just a salad. And more often than not, people will start wanting your special meal because it looks so good :p My dad took me to his favourite pub the other week, and they could barely cater for vegetarians. I was pretty worried, but as soon as they figured out what a vegan diet was, they made me up a rice dish with broccoli, peas, mushrooms, courgettes, sweetcorn, apple, onion, peppers and a few spices and soy sauce. It was the most amazing thing I've ever eaten there, and everyone wanted it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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My husband is pretty much like your boyfriend. Only more so. He's a complete meat-and-potatoes eater, and has given me a hard time in the past about being l/o veg... forget vegan.<br><br>
I have only been eating vegan for a couple of weeks now, and I haven't said anything to him about it yet, I've just pretty much been quietly doing it. I mentioned that I was "trying to cut down on dairy" for health reasons, but I haven't stood up and announced I'm going vegan. I've been cooking vegan meals for us that we both like anyway (penne arrabbiata, or pasta with pesto sauce... he has no idea my pesto is vegan.) And I have been doing my best to steer restaurant selections towards places I know I can get something vegan, which has actually worked pretty well.<br><br>
I guess my point is that with my H, I know he'll do best with it if I don't make a huge deal out of it (and especially if I don't try to convert him, which is never going to happen.) Maybe you need to reassure your boyfriend a bit that you can still do "normal" things together... like you can still order pizza as long as yours doesn't have cheese (and he can always get cheese on his), or you can go to an ice cream place and you order sorbet or a fruit slush. It's unfortunate that our partners tend to think more about how our choices affect them than anything else, but I guess it's human nature.<br><br>
Unfortunately, simply cutting the "unsupportive" people out of one's life is not always realistic, especially when we love them so much <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Ashlend: I'm glad I'm not the only one! (this is why I love veggie boards.)<br><br>
I think it's mainly now I have to do special things to my diet. I make a mean vegan pizza and I have tried vegan ice cream (loveee), but he doesn't like having to hear "I don't eat that" alll the time. I don't know what's so confusing about not eating dairy but he keeps asking me if I want his left over eggs or cupcakes or whatever. Every time he asks I give him "the look" and he rolls his eyes. I think he finds it to be more like a strange fad or something. We did talk about it the other day and he just laughed and said I was a "special" girlfriend :p I'm hoping he'll just get used to it eventually like he did when we started dating and I was vegetarian.
 

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There are vegan ice creams available that are pretty tasty. A very cheap home made version is freezing a banana overnight and tossing it in the food processor until smooth. Just like soft serve ice cream. Add some cocoa powder and a bit of sweetener for chocolate ice cream or you can come up with your own flavors as well. There are some pizza places that do not use egg in their crusts that you could order a cheeseless pizza from. I believe one is Papa John's, here's info from Vegan Eating Out which includes their original crust and regular sauce: <a href="http://www.veganeatingout.com/papa-johns" target="_blank">http://www.veganeatingout.com/papa-johns</a> My preference is a home made pizza loaded with veggies though. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> I have also tried a tofurky cheez pizza because my boyfriend was curious but I wasn't too impressed with the size. It was still tasty though.<br><br>
Hopefully your boyfriend will become more supportive over time and maybe showing him the delicious alternatives available will help change his mind.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>heatherann1220</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2836580"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Ashlend: I'm glad I'm not the only one! (this is why I love veggie boards.)<br><br>
I think it's mainly now I have to do special things to my diet. I make a mean vegan pizza and I have tried vegan ice cream (loveee), but he doesn't like having to hear "I don't eat that" alll the time. I don't know what's so confusing about not eating dairy but he keeps asking me if I want his left over eggs or cupcakes or whatever. Every time he asks I give him "the look" and he rolls his eyes. I think he finds it to be more like a strange fad or something. We did talk about it the other day and he just laughed and said I was a "special" girlfriend :p I'm hoping he'll just get used to it eventually like he did when we started dating and I was vegetarian.</div>
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Stop giving him "the look"? It's difficult to remember what contains what for someone else's dietary preferences. I have a friend with a gluten allergy, I accidentally offer her gluten all the time. She just says "no thanks, it's got gluten" rather than glaring at me until I realise. My boyfriend is possibly the most supportive guy ever (I'm not showing off, honest), but even he forgets what I will and won't eat.<br><br>
You boyfriend will probably get used to it once he realises you're serious, though. Everyone needs some sort of adjustment period
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>heatherann1220</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2836580"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Ashlend: I'm glad I'm not the only one! (this is why I love veggie boards.)<br><br>
I think it's mainly now I have to do special things to my diet. I make a mean vegan pizza and I have tried vegan ice cream (loveee), but he doesn't like having to hear "I don't eat that" alll the time. I don't know what's so confusing about not eating dairy but he keeps asking me if I want his left over eggs or cupcakes or whatever. Every time he asks I give him "the look" and he rolls his eyes. I think he finds it to be more like a strange fad or something. We did talk about it the other day and he just laughed and said I was a "special" girlfriend :p I'm hoping he'll just get used to it eventually like he did when we started dating and I was vegetarian.</div>
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Give him some time to get used to it. And in the meantime, do your best not to make it a point of contention. If he offers you something non-vegan, like a cupcake or whatever, don't give him a "look." Just say "no thanks babe." The important thing is that you don't eat it, not necessarily that you hammer home WHY you're not eating it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Okay, I promise to retire "the look". haha It's just frustrating after over a month of vegan eating and fridge full of vegan products to still get offered nonvegan food by the person I spend a mass amount of time with.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>heatherann1220</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2836591"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Okay, I promise to retire "the look". haha It's just frustrating after over a month of vegan eating and fridge full of vegan products to still get offered nonvegan food by the person I spend a mass amount of time with.</div>
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I know... after more than six years, I have friends who still offer me meat. It can get really annoying, but I think it's better to politely refuse in most cases. Sometimes, though, the look is deserved :p
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>heatherann1220</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2836562"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
After about a month, he seems a bit annoyed with my new diet. He hates we can't just order pizza or eat ice cream. I asked him what was wrong, he says he doesn't like my new restrictions because it means I don't want to go to certain restaurants and when we go out now I have to scour the menu for food and settle on a salad.</div>
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Firstly, you said "he hates that we can't order pizza" but you don't have to do so as a pair! Tell him to order all the pizza he wants and you'll fix yourself something quick and easy, or (as suggested above) order a vegan pizza. Or make pizza, and he can have cheese on his and yours can be without. My point is, you don't have to eat the same thing and do everything together! Part of being a vegan/non vegan couple is about comprimising. You being vegan doesn't have to affect him a lot at all.<br><br>
As for eating out, tell him you're happy to pick a promising looking resturaunt ahead of time and phone ahead to make sure there's something vegan to minimise hassle IN the resturaunt itself, OR you're happy to go wherever he wants to go and just eat a salad or baked potato or chips, if there's a resturaunt he loves and wants to go to. Either is fine by you, and neither should be a problem for him, so put the ball in his court and say which would he rather? That way, its not all about HIM fitting in with YOU, and you're showing you're willing to be flexible <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
Maybe you could also stress that YOU DON'T MIND having to not order pizza, and eat any old icecream, and scouring menus, because you WANT and CHOOSE to be vegan and you love it? Maybe he;s really worrying about you, and he doesn't like seeing you "missing out"? It sounds to me like he's just concerned for you to be honest, rather than being mean.<br><br>
All that aside though, you say "resistance from omnivores" and I don't doubt these little thigns can seem annoying or unsupportive...but actually it seems to me from your post you have a VERY supportive, kind and sweet boyfriend. It sounds to be like you've got a great guy, and you're just having a few teething problems in transitioning to veganism, which is fine, but try to relax and concentrate on all the good things. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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My bf found it kind of difficult at first, especially as I'd been living in another country for 7 months and just came back for 2 weeks and was like 'hey... so, there's something I need to tell you...' His big fears were that we couldn't order pizza, that we couldn't go out, that he couldn't buy me chocolate any more, that I'd be unhealthy and really picky (I was quite picky as a vegetarian, there weren't many foods I liked.' However I still ordered pizza, just cheeseless, I'd still eat out with him even if the place wasn't very vegan friendly I'd be flexible and not picky and just eat whatever was vegan, it was usually italian anyway so there was always pizza. I found some dark chocolate I liked from the supermarket so he buys me that, plus he sent me a load of booja booja and organica chocolate to France for my birthday, I've had no health issues (almost a year now), so everything kind of calmed down quite quickly, I think it helped that he visited me in France and I cooked him some great vegan food <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">. Things still aren't perfect, we still have little tiffs about it on occasion but mostly it's all good. Hopefully your bf will come round to the idea too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Identity_thief</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2836819"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Maybe you could also stress that YOU DON'T MIND having to not order pizza, and eat any old icecream, and scouring menus, because you WANT and CHOOSE to be vegan and you love it?</div>
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Attitude is everything, I think how you act about your food choices is way more important to the people around you than what you're actually eating. If you act like eating vegan is a big deal and stressful then that's how others will perceive it too, and if you frown when you turn down a non-vegan item it sends a very different message than if you smile and act friendly and casual about it.<br><br>
A smile really goes a long way when interacting with omnivores. I find that if you just act really friendly and confident like it's the most normal thing in the world that you don't want a slice of that cheese pizza everyone around you will follow along and not see it as a big deal either, because in the end it really isn't.
 

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well, i am not vegan. so it is easier now. with pizza and ice cream and all. but my friends are pretty supportiveand willing to check out new things, like eating vegan ice cream with me<br><br>
and when we go out to thre same places than before vegetarianism, we simply don't order for example chicken wings, but go for fries. or they eat one thing and i get myself something else. this is pretty normal<br><br>
i think the best is just to convince him that finding new things to enjoy toghether is better than just hanging on to old habits. worked with my friends, my bestfriends are always pretty cool with experimenting with new stuff on the menu
 

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I've been at my most recent job for five months. Nobody has figured out I'm vegan or even vegetarian and only one guy knows I'm atheist.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I feel like most of "omnivore resistance" problem wasn't with my boyfriend it was more coworkers. I didn't really specify in the OP because I figured it was long enough already haha. But since I can't choose my fellow employees (and if I did, it wouldn't be them haha) I get most of my rude/anti vegan comments from them. Like I said, I don't really tell people I'm vegan but I have told a couple people, especially when they ask me to share dinner with them or something. One asked me why I was being so difficult with my eating choices and my "vegan atheist" lifestyle. I think the atheist comment was meant as a joke it was still annoying. Another said vegans only eat cucumbers and lettuce (so orginal). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":rolleyes:"><br><br>
But really, I don't care anymore what others think especially coworkers. (They all kinda suck anyway. haha) My boyfriend and I made tacos for dinner last night, I used vegan cheese and sour cream and he just used the regular stuff. He's slowly coming around to everything, I think it's like you said more of a teething phase as I transition over. He really is the best guy ever anyway <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
I love my new diet choices and don't plan on going back anytime soon, and basically my happiness should be my number one priority, not comments from others who don't know what they're talking about. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>heatherann1220</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2839452"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I feel like most of "omnivore resistance" problem wasn't with my boyfriend it was more coworkers. I didn't really specify in the OP because I figured it was long enough already haha. But since I can't choose my fellow employees (and if I did, it wouldn't be them haha) I get most of my rude/anti vegan comments from them. Like I said, I don't really tell people I'm vegan but I have told a couple people, especially when they ask me to share dinner with them or something. One asked me why I was being so difficult with my eating choices and my "vegan atheist" lifestyle. I think the atheist comment was meant as a joke it was still annoying. Another said vegans only eat cucumbers and lettuce (so orginal). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":rolleyes:"><br><br>
But really, I don't care anymore what others think especially coworkers. (They all kinda suck anyway. haha) My boyfriend and I made tacos for dinner last night, I used vegan cheese and sour cream and he just used the regular stuff. He's slowly coming around to everything, I think it's like you said more of a teething phase as I transition over. He really is the best guy ever anyway <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
I love my new diet choices and don't plan on going back anytime soon, and basically my happiness should be my number one priority, not comments from others who don't know what they're talking about. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"></div>
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Hey, Adam and Eve were supposed to be vegans, back in the Garden of Eden... Or some such... So who's the atheist? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p"><br><br>
Jokes aside, I'm happy that it seems to work out for you! Your boyfriend sounds like a treasure, do keep him <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> (Now... does he have a brother? distant cousin in Germany, maybe? LOL.)
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Kjesta</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2839506"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
(Now... does he have a brother? distant cousin in Germany, maybe? LOL.)</div>
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Germany has Heino, what the **** are you asking for any other men for?<br><img alt="" src="http://anomalousmedia.com/phtnet/_Media/heino.jpeg" style="border:0px solid;">
 

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Omnivores often feel defensive about what they eat - even if you are not taking a moral stance around them - so it is possible that your boyfriend is feeling a bit pressured.<br><br>
I am trying out veganism for Lent (having been veggie for a very long time) and I feel a bit like that myself sometimes because now that I am focussing on the contents of food again after years of being quite blase about being l/o veggie, I am realising that I had very little to be pleased with myself about. In truth, I would probably have been better off eating a small amount of good quality humanely reared and slaughtered meat than being veggie and contributing to the cruelty of dairy farming methods. Its a minefield - the more you think about it the more complicated it seems. Which is possibly why many people choose not to think about it.<br><br>
It's easier to say than do but maybe if you just try to focus on what you can eat as much as possible rather than on what you cannot then this will give out a positive vibe and your bf will relax a bit. There are some fantastic resources on the web and I am very grateful to the people who put in so much effort contributing recipes - it is a real community effort - never knew so much was out there before!
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Sevenseas</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2839762"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Germany has Heino, what the **** are you asking for any other men for?<br><img alt="" src="http://anomalousmedia.com/phtnet/_Media/heino.jpeg" style="border:0px solid;"></div>
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I just saw your post and what is really strange is that my German in-laws have that record ( on vinyl) and he actually has many more which we are forced to listen to when over for afternoon tea. It is truly awful. And not just the cover...
 
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