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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, so yeah, totally subjective question but here's why I bring it up ...

Yesterday at work a friend sat down with her lunch, casually making conversation, I ask what she's eating. She answers "chicken salad, do you want some of it?" I politely declined, of course, and she proceeded to ask three more times, lauding the attributes of the meal. I finally said "Uh, it's chicken.". She snarkily replied, "oh yeah, you're suddenly against meat."

It's been eleven months. I don't think that's suddenly. Is it? I am passionate about this lifestyle but because I know most of my friends don't understand/don't care I don't pressure them or talk about it much around them. So, ok, I guess it makes sense she wasn't thinking but the snide remark upset me. I'm trying to be nice, why can't she? And this is a good friend, and one I spent up to 50 hours a week with.

So back to my original question, at what point can I expect people to accept this has my lifestyle to say things like, "she hasn't eaten meat in forever" as opposed to having people just assume I'm going through a phase or trying out a new fad? I'm 31 years old, I'm capable of making my own decisions and I resent people thinking I'm just being flakey.

Any advice or similar stories would be much appreciated!
 

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That doesn't sound like a remark a friend would make!
As you say, you respect her decision to eat animals, which I'm sure bothers you. How is your avoidance of meat bothering her?
I can only assume it's making her feel guilty.

Even the first day of avoiding meat is enough to have friends respect your decision. If she can't respect you after eleven months of being vegetarian, it's time for a good talk.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey2 View Post

So back to my original question, at what point can I expect people to accept this has my lifestyle to say things like, "she hasn't eaten meat in forever" as opposed to having people just assume I'm going through a phase or trying out a new fad?
When you start meeting new people. My friends from 6 years ago (when I changed my diet) still poke fun at me. New people accept it because they know nothing different.

People can be irritated by people being suddenly passionate about vegetarianism. But, I think you have the right attitude. I never bring up vegetarianism unless it needs to be - it's just a diet preference.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey2 View Post

So back to my original question, at what point can I expect people to accept this has my lifestyle to say things like, "she hasn't eaten meat in forever" as opposed to having people just assume I'm going through a phase or trying out a new fad?
When Greenland invades Canada.

(In other words, I wouldn't get my hopes up
)
 

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Its been 11 months for me too. I consider myself kind of a new veggie but also not because really a new vegetarian is more like 0-6 months I think.

Anyway dont worry about your friend. I get all sorts of weird things said to me. She will get used to you being a vegetarian and at some point she will just forget about it.

BTW, I tend to avoid asking someone what they are eating unless I know for sure if is veg because otherwise it gets pretty awkward....
 

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Originally Posted by theLaika View Post

There are several diplomatic disputes with Greenland and Canada. I feel compelled to mention this.
In other words, there is hope that one day we will not be new or "temporary" veg*ns permanently?
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by silva View Post

That doesn't sound like a remark a friend would make!
As you say, you respect her decision to eat animals, which I'm sure bothers you. How is your avoidance of meat bothering her?
I can only assume it's making her feel guilty.

Even the first day of avoiding meat is enough to have friends respect your decision. If she can't respect you after eleven months of being vegetarian, it's time for a good talk.
I had this exact conversation with a friend at work. She is one of the people that respects my decision even though she still eats meat (She's nicknamed me Veg, lol). Why do meat eaters feel so threatened by vegetarians, and feel the need to poke fun at it? I've come to the conclusion that they are insecure about the fact that they know nothing about nutrition nor want to learn, because it would mean they have to give up their constant burgers and fries diet. I have found that the meat eaters that are knowledgeable about nutrition are very supportive about my decision.

I would still ask what someone was eating if I was curious. Although I no longer eat meat I still appreciate good food and have always been curious about it. :)
 

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It took years for some folks who knew me pre-vegetarian to admit to themselves I wasn't just going through a phase of some kind.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
That's interesting I did have lunch with someone I'd only recently meet this week, when I ordered she asked if I ate meat. I said, not for a year now, and she replied, "oh, so you just started this?"

I wanted to bang my head on the table. Lol

Thanks for the replies, I think sometimes people's attitudes make me waiver. Like they make me think I am just going through a phase. Then I snap out of it & realize that the thought of eating meat still turns my stomach.
 

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Well, It's been a little over 3 years for me, and my mother only recently stopped saying things like "oh, you're still doing that?"

As though it was some sort of phase. (For the record, I'm 35...)
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
It gives me hope that she finally stopped. Lol. Last time I ate out with my mother she asked how much longer I planned to be a vegetarian. Sigh. I'm 31 myself, you'd think our mothers would realize we've outgrown the phase portion of life. For the most part anyway. Lol.
 

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Its been nearly 8 years for me being vegetarian & only people I havnt seen for a while ask if I'm 'still against meat'. Everyone else I see more often just accepts thats part of who I am & its been that way for quite a few years. But I went vegan in July, so feel like I'm back to square one a bit.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey2 View Post

It gives me hope that she finally stopped. Lol. Last time I ate out with my mother she asked how much longer I planned to be a vegetarian. Sigh. I'm 31 myself, you'd think our mothers would realize we've outgrown the phase portion of life. For the most part anyway. Lol.
LOL - you would think that. How insulting, "how much longer you plan to be veg" as though you're just trying it on for size!

Quote:
Originally Posted by moonface88 View Post

Its been nearly 8 years for me being vegetarian & only people I havnt seen for a while ask if I'm 'still against meat'. Everyone else I see more often just accepts thats part of who I am & its been that way for quite a few years. But I went vegan in July, so feel like I'm back to square one a bit.
My MIL has told me multiple times that I cannot ever become vegan because it will just be too difficult. We already have 2 vegetarians, 2 extremely picky kids (that call themselves vegetarians but really they're just sugar-tarians) and one gluten-free person. It is kind of a pain to plan meals when we're all together, but I do want to go vegan eventually and this kind of stops me in my tracks.
 

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I've always loved animals and never agreed with the way they are exploited for human benefits. I'm only 19 now, but when I was younger, around age 10 - I think... I finally decided to give up meat and was a vegetarian for nearly 2 years. I gave it up due to pressure and over the years I went back and forth with being a vegetarian lasting months at a time, but I wasn't a very strong person and people around me were forcing meat in my face etc. Even though it was poor effort on my part, I tried and I hope it played a part. But, finally I've seen sense and have been vegetarian again for a few weeks now, and I do not intend to give up ever again! I feel better in myself knowing I'm doing something good. I'm even considering and would love to go vegan once I've researched products more, though when I can, I will eat vegan now! Anyway, more to the point, even though I've only been at it a few weeks again, I wouldn't consider myself to be new at it! So, don't listen to that silly woman!
 

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So far, I've been a new vegetarian for almost 5 years. Maybe in 4 or 5 decades, my family will catch on that it isn't just a phase. Not that they aren't supportive - they're much better than some of the stuff I read about here on VB from people with unsupportive families. They're just still not entirely used to it or sure what to do about meals with me.

--Fromper
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fromper View Post

So far, I've been a new vegetarian for almost 5 years. Maybe in 4 or 5 decades, my family will catch on that it isn't just a phase. Not that they aren't supportive - they're much better than some of the stuff I read about here on VB from people with unsupportive families. They're just still not entirely used to it or sure what to do about meals with me.

--Fromper
That's a good way to put it and describes my family as well I think. They're supportive but not sure what they need to do to help. Except my Mom who is just confused. Mainly because she thinks I'm doing this to lose weight (which I'm also doing but that's not the reason I cut out meat) which leads her to suggest things like "I'll grill your chicken" or "there's just a little ham in there." I know she means well and is just used to feeding me so it bothers her that she doesn't really know what to fix now. I keep telling my family to fix what they want for dinners & I'll bring something for myself. But my sister keeps insisting on making sure she also fixes something I can eat, which is very nice.

Also, I'm pretty sure none of them agree with me as to the ethical reasons for not eating meat but they don't ridicule me & I don't answer questions I'm not asked. It's working pretty well. Lol.
 

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I'm so happy I ran into this tread today! I'm 32 and have been vegetarian for around 9 months and it seems like my family support has gotten worse! My parents thought it was a phase and now that they see it might not be, they seem to be frustrated with it. Which is weird because I don't live with them! My mom 'forgot' to make anything vegetarian for our Christmas dinner this year, the sweet potato's had marshmallows on them and the vegetables were cooked in bacon grease. I usually bring my own food or at least one side dish so that I know I can eat something, but I was under the impression she was having mushroom raviolis. She decided to make the meat raviolis instead. She thought I would eat marshmallows and the veggies in bacon grease. :-( My dad is a hunter and now they have deer burgers on a regular basis. I keep veggie burgers at their house since I visit them a lot. The other day my dad said to me, "I remember when you were a kid and ate deer meat all the time. That was when you were fun." What the heck? It hurt and made me mad, but I didn't say anything because then I would be the 'crazy vegetarian'. They are good people, I love them, they're my parents, but they really don't understand why I'm vegetarian.

I'm like you are about not bothering them about what they eat and I get that same attitude back from most of my friends but for some reason my family finds it more difficult to deal with. Anyway, I still have hopes that they will get better about it to the point that they don't make rude comments.
 
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