This is sort of inspired by the celibacy thread.
How did your ideas about sex change with things like losing your virginity? Different partners? Masturbation? Marriage? Problems? or negative things like abuse or rape? Or maybe just talking with people from different backgrounds may have opened your mind to new ways of thinking.
As a virgin, I just knew I wanted to be safe, with someone I loved, and completely comfortable and wanting the whole thing. I never felt I could ever be pressured into it. I wasn't worried about when I lost it, but I did see it as a rite of passage that would come most likely by the end of my teens.
I think before I was physically intimate with anyone (minus intercourse), sex seemed so out there to me. I couldn't imagine not only being naked with someone, but naked plus all that other stuff!!! But once I started doing stuff like making out, etc. it made sense to me. I was always with people I trusted, and the experience made me much more comfortable with my own body in general. I also didn't feel any huge leap in emotional connection to my boyfriend once we had sex or fooled around, because we were already very emotionally intimate. That's why when I read things that say that having sex will end up crushing you or causing you emotional turmoil, it makes me laugh. Well, maybe sex with false expectations, or with the wrong person, but it wouldn't be the sex per se, but the false expectations, or lack of respect, or coercion or whatever other bad aspect of the relationship led to the the sex that caused the emotional turmoil. I feel like sometimes sex gets blamed for a lot of negative baggage that is really the fault of other issues between people.
In my sexual relationships I have been heartbroken, or crushed, angered, confused, but I have never once thought to myself, "well, if we had been celibate, this wouldn't be so difficult." I see sex as just another form of intimacy with a partner, such as over coming a challenge together, sharing secrets, growing trust, making promises, letting your true personality out. All of those things are just as risky emotionally to me. And they are all just as, if not more so, spiritually fulfilling and sacred.
Sex can be any combination of "special", spiritual, emotional, fun, kinky, recreational, boring, routine, something for your partner when you aren't really into it, for pure self pleasure, reproduction, emotional bonding, learning about your body, stress relief, to feel like an adult, to feel loved, an ego trip, or whatever.
I think of it like food. Sometimes I eat for sustenance, fun, pleasure, or junk, convenience. Sometimes I make a big production out of it. Sometimes it's symbolic, like Thanksgiving. Sometimes it's social. But I don't like to look down on any or most of those reasons, but instead maintain a healthy balance.
How did your ideas about sex change with things like losing your virginity? Different partners? Masturbation? Marriage? Problems? or negative things like abuse or rape? Or maybe just talking with people from different backgrounds may have opened your mind to new ways of thinking.
As a virgin, I just knew I wanted to be safe, with someone I loved, and completely comfortable and wanting the whole thing. I never felt I could ever be pressured into it. I wasn't worried about when I lost it, but I did see it as a rite of passage that would come most likely by the end of my teens.
I think before I was physically intimate with anyone (minus intercourse), sex seemed so out there to me. I couldn't imagine not only being naked with someone, but naked plus all that other stuff!!! But once I started doing stuff like making out, etc. it made sense to me. I was always with people I trusted, and the experience made me much more comfortable with my own body in general. I also didn't feel any huge leap in emotional connection to my boyfriend once we had sex or fooled around, because we were already very emotionally intimate. That's why when I read things that say that having sex will end up crushing you or causing you emotional turmoil, it makes me laugh. Well, maybe sex with false expectations, or with the wrong person, but it wouldn't be the sex per se, but the false expectations, or lack of respect, or coercion or whatever other bad aspect of the relationship led to the the sex that caused the emotional turmoil. I feel like sometimes sex gets blamed for a lot of negative baggage that is really the fault of other issues between people.
In my sexual relationships I have been heartbroken, or crushed, angered, confused, but I have never once thought to myself, "well, if we had been celibate, this wouldn't be so difficult." I see sex as just another form of intimacy with a partner, such as over coming a challenge together, sharing secrets, growing trust, making promises, letting your true personality out. All of those things are just as risky emotionally to me. And they are all just as, if not more so, spiritually fulfilling and sacred.
Sex can be any combination of "special", spiritual, emotional, fun, kinky, recreational, boring, routine, something for your partner when you aren't really into it, for pure self pleasure, reproduction, emotional bonding, learning about your body, stress relief, to feel like an adult, to feel loved, an ego trip, or whatever.
I think of it like food. Sometimes I eat for sustenance, fun, pleasure, or junk, convenience. Sometimes I make a big production out of it. Sometimes it's symbolic, like Thanksgiving. Sometimes it's social. But I don't like to look down on any or most of those reasons, but instead maintain a healthy balance.