How do I stop this? He's slowly killing himself with the amount that he drinks. He's putting on more and more weight and doesn't seem to want to do anything about it, never mind the damage he's probably doing to his liver. I've tried to talk to him about it loads of times but I get nowhere as he just gets really defensive and angry. Part of me is wondering whether I'm better off breaking up with him. How could I marry and have kids with this guy? I don't want to waste my life with him if he's never going to change.
first thing to know: you can't fix or change him or get him to stop. you could do absolutely anything you can think of (threat, plead, leave, hide drink, take keys, take his money, video tape him drunk and show him when he's sober, etc etc etc), and it won't stop him. he'll only stop when he's ready to stop (honestly, i don't think he's ready enough right now from what you've said- addicts don't often stop until they get desperate and their world falls to bits around their ears, and often not even then). you can help you though- learn and understand whats going on, talk to people who are going through, or who have been through the same thing.
you need to go to al-anon. go 6 times before you decide if its right for you or not, go to a few different meetings if you hate the first one after a few weeks. some people don't feel entirely comfortable at al-alon when they first go, not because its a bad place- quite the opposite, but because its new, and there is a fair bit to get your head around when you're already feeling a bit frazzled. its seriously worth pushing yourself to go through those first few meetings though, cos it can change your life. you can find a local contact through their service number in the phone book, or find your nearest meeting online. if you don't feel like going to a meeting right away, you can talk to someone on the phone for a bit first.
if you go to al-alon, one way or another things will change, because you'll change in subtle and not so subtle ways- you'll have new information, a little more insight, and a backup system. you might decide to leave. i know i personally would- i've been through living with an alcoholic once, and would never do it again, lol- once is plenty for me thanks. if you do decide to go, you'll have help and support from the group and their contacts. you might decide to stay for a while, stick it out, and work towards change if your partner commits to it (if he goes to AA, or gets into a program, for example), if so, you'll have help and support as you go through that too.