How do you deal with peer pressure/will power issues?

Lani · Nov 14, 2006

Ok so I've been veg for over 4 months now with no problems. Meat disgusts me. No worries I'll never touch the stuff again. Went vegan a month and half ago and keep running into temptations <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/undecided.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":-/"> Even though milk makes me want to be sick, I am in love with cheese. It's my kryptonite <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

"> Once I found tofutti singles though, I dropped dairy completely (That was all that made me not vegan anyway) 
So now after 6 weeks I've been hit so many times with the will power struggle. People at work will go out to lunch and drag me with them and there will be nothing vegan friendly on the menu. I normally get salad when this happens but a lot of places only have red wine vinegar. Since the promotion this happens a lot more and I normally decline the offer for lunch, but sometimes I don't have a choice. Vendors come by often and want to take all of the PC Techs out to lunch while they talk about new improvements to the hardware we're using. They sometimes just bring in 10 pizzas (like today) and load it up on the table next to me and I just eat my pb&j sandwich or an amy's bowl or something while they chow down. The whole time telling myself it's for the greater good. 
I've had a hard struggle with this and it makes me want to break down and cry. I shouldn't have these temptations. I've seen what they do to these animals. I know how bad it is for me to eat it. I know better but I still can't help but crave the cheese pizza. If they had breadsticks, I would have probably caved and ate one or two without even asking what they were made with. 
I'm just so scared I will cave in. Today I came so close. I'm proud of myself I didn't but also ashamed that I came as close as I did. And I'm worried about next month as well. I'll be out of town from the 6th to the 8th and I'm not even sure if there will be any vegan options where I'm going. I think it's in California so the flight will be long and I'm sure the meal won't be vegan. 
How do others deal with this? Please give me help and strength. I really need it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

"> 
Troub come talk some sense in me before I falter <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/bigcry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

"> 
/edit/ said next week, meant next month.. corrected sorry <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

">

GhostUser · Nov 14, 2006

Congrats for not caving in to the temptations! That's something you should be very, very proud of! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

"> <div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">The whole time telling myself it's for the greater good.</div>
</div>
 
That's what you need to keep doing. Keep reminding yourself as many times as it takes why you are vegan. When you see cheese, see it for what it really is. Force yourself to think of where it came from and how it was made. This will keep you strong. 
Good luck with your upcoming trip out of town! Stock up on goodies and snacks for your travels! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

">

hnybny91 · Nov 14, 2006

Here you go <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"> I kind of know how you feel. I am struggling to give up dairy myself as I am a cheese-a-holic also. I don't know that I will ever become completely vegan but I will probably end up happlily somewhere in between vegan and vegetarian. The other day I was making a sandwichs for my hubby and kids and I nearly stuck a piece of salami in my mouth with out even thinking about it. I was never much of a meat eater before turning vegearian, but I did love salami and peperoni! This ind of lifestyle demands a lot of discipline but I think you are going to do just fine <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/bow.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":bow:"> 
BTW.....why can't vegans have red wine vinegar?

Fyvel · Nov 14, 2006

Living with a vegan lifestlye does get easier over time (well, it did for me anyways). The key is to be proud of your decision, and to not let others "bully" you into temptation (whether they have ill intentions or not, it often happens when someone will say "well can't you just have *one* piece", etc). Make the decision for yourself that you WILL stick with it no matter what, and you will take responsibility for never putting yourself into a position where you eat something non-vegan or go hungry. 
Plan ahead whenever possible. If you know of the restaurant you are going to beforehand, call them up and enquire about ingredients, or if they can make you a dish that might not be on the menu. Most places would have some spare veggies around they could fry (in oil, not butter) and throw onto some rice for a quick veggie stir fry for a change from a salad. 
If you know you are travelling, take some travel friendly snacks with you. Stock up on dried fruit and nuts, granola bars, etc. I'm usually quite good at this, but just last week I found myself in a position where I didn't pack enough snacks for an all-day travel day, skipped my usual opportunity at the airport I was changing flights at, and ended up in an area at the airport that had limited choices. Of the one vegan choice normally available, they were all out of it. I almost caved and bought an otherwise vegan sandwich that had mayo on it. But I didn't. I bought some juice instead. I survived, and I'm proud that I didn't let hunger overcome my morals. 
The key is to always be prepared, and to always have *something* on hand that you can eat. Lunabars, Larabars, dried fruit and nuts, etc, are all good options that have a decent number of calories to carry you over until your next meal. 
Good luck, and I'm glad you've been sticking with it despite the temptations <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

">

Toilet Duck · Nov 14, 2006

I find soup can be good a way around things if I eat out. 
I've only just gone vegan and it's taken a while to make the transition, but I think I'm there now because I make it a habit to remind myself of why I am vegan every time I feel like taking the lazy route if I eat out.

Fyvel · Nov 14, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by Toilet Duck <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
I find soup can be good a way around things if I eat out. 
I've only just gone vegan and it's taken a while to make the transition, but I think I'm there now because I make it a habit to remind myself of why I am vegan every time I feel like taking the lazy route if I eat out.</div>
</div>
 
I usually avoid soups like the plague when I eat out at restaurants (it all stems from an incident many years ago when I asked the server if there was any meat in the soup, to which they replied 'no' and when it arrived it had chicken in it). Soups, for the most part, are not vegan. Even vegetable soups will often have meat broths in them. The only time I will eat prepared soup is when I can personally read the ingredients, or if I am in a vegetarian-friendly restuarant. Be careful with those soups!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/veganpolice.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":notvegan:">

Lani · Nov 14, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by hnybny91 <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
BTW.....why can't vegans have red wine vinegar?</div>
</div>
 
I've read that they use animal products (from fish/beef/etc) to clarify the red wine. And from what I understand they make the vinegar from this wine which has been put through animal products. Perhaps I'm wrong though <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/undecided.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":-/"> <div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by Toilet Duck <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
I find soup can be good a way around things if I eat out.</div>
</div>
 
All of the soups I've come across at restaurants are chicken or beef stock. Even places that say their soup is vegetarian, end up having chicken stock. Most places assume vegetarian/vegan just means no meat. And as long as there aren't chunks of meat in the soup, they don't consider it to have meat in it, even though the liquid is practically meat.

derwenna · Nov 14, 2006

Well done for not giving in. If you did give in 'just once' you might end up finding it more difficult to resist in the future, and if any of your co-workers know you're vegan they won't take you seriously again if you eat non-vegan stuff in front of them. I can see that the having to go to restaurants thing must be a pain, but maybe after you've been to the same restaurants a few times the staff will get used to being asked to prepare something vegan? That would be good for showing them there is a demand for vegan options. 
I've found two things that help: one is to learn to make vegan versions of non-vegan foods (such as chocolate chip cookies, pizza with vegan cheese, lasagne), so if I see something nice that isn't vegan I just think 'it's ok, I can make it this evening at home if I really want it' and knowing that I can have whatever it is, just not at that exact moment in time, helps me not to crave it. The other thing is to remember that even though we suffer sometimes by choosing not to eat certain things, it's nothing compared with the suffering the animals get put through.

derwenna · Nov 14, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by fyvel <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
I usually avoid soups like the plague when I eat out at restaurants (it all stems from an incident many years ago when I asked the server if there was any meat in the soup, to which they replied 'no' and when it arrived it had chicken in it). Soups, for the most part, are not vegan. Even vegetable soups will often have meat broths in them. The only time I will eat prepared soup is when I can personally read the ingredients, or if I am in a vegetarian-friendly restuarant. Be careful with those soups!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/veganpolice.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":notvegan:"></div>
</div>
 
To be fair, I've never come across that in the UK (where Toilet Duck is from, according to his/her profile). People here don't seem to be as insistent on sticking meat ingredients in vegetable dishes, although with soups you still need to check if they have butter or cream in them.

meatless · Nov 14, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by fyvel <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
Living with a vegan lifestlye does get easier over time (well, it did for me anyways). The key is to be proud of your decision, and to not let others "bully" you into temptation (whether they have ill intentions or not, it often happens when someone will say "well can't you just have *one* piece", etc). Make the decision for yourself that you WILL stick with it no matter what, and you will take responsibility for never putting yourself into a position where you eat something non-vegan or go hungry. 
Plan ahead whenever possible. If you know of the restaurant you are going to beforehand, call them up and enquire about ingredients, or if they can make you a dish that might not be on the menu. Most places would have some spare veggies around they could fry (in oil, not butter) and throw onto some rice for a quick veggie stir fry for a change from a salad. 
If you know you are travelling, take some travel friendly snacks with you. Stock up on dried fruit and nuts, granola bars, etc. I'm usually quite good at this, but just last week I found myself in a position where I didn't pack enough snacks for an all-day travel day, skipped my usual opportunity at the airport I was changing flights at, and ended up in an area at the airport that had limited choices. Of the one vegan choice normally available, they were all out of it. I almost caved and bought an otherwise vegan sandwich that had mayo on it. But I didn't. I bought some juice instead. I survived, and I'm proud that I didn't let hunger overcome my morals. 
The key is to always be prepared, and to always have *something* on hand that you can eat. Lunabars, Larabars, dried fruit and nuts, etc, are all good options that have a decent number of calories to carry you over until your next meal. 
Good luck, and I'm glad you've been sticking with it despite the temptations <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

"></div>
</div>
 
I agree with this completely. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

"> Be confident in and proud of your veganism, and it makes it that much easier.

GanyGreenBean · Nov 14, 2006

I totally understand. I have to bring in my own food for class, while everyone else enjoys what we made in class, I enjoy something I bring in. Usually a pasta or instant soup or even some hummus and veggies. 
Just bring your own food. And if they don't allow that, ask for a plate of vegetables or fruits. I always did that at I think Denny's. As everyone else ate bacon and sausage, I'd get a plate of fruit with wheat toast.

troub · Nov 14, 2006

If you fail, you will look back in regret. 
If you overcome, you will look back in victory. 
Feelings of temptation are only temporary and usually only consist of waiting them out. Shortly after going vegan my boss bought everyone pizza for lunch. I had only been vegan for a week or so at this point and I really wanted to cave and eat a piece, but I didn't. I did play with fire so to speak and get a good whiff of it on purpose, but I still see that point as my last temptation of pizza. 
At university all the meetings and club "kick off" parties are all pizza parties. Just a couple weeks ago we had a meeting concerning one of these groups and they had hot cocoa. I just had to remind myself of source of it, and knew that once I got back home I could have some vegan cocoa that would taste so much better. 
Sometimes we do need a reminder of why we are doing this. I just watched parts of earthlings again and ...wow - still haven't brought myself to watching it in its entirety though. just parts of it here and there. But it strengthens this resolve so much. 
The other day we went to SASHA farm, and spent some time with the animals. And wow. After seeing Elsie (the cow) and hugging her, she motioned for her head to be scratched, and it was just so heartbreaking that such a peaceful animal is brought to so much pain for peoples desire for cheese. 
I've been wanting to share an excerpt from a book on here for a while but haven't really gotten around to typing it, but I think this is a good time. 
to be continued...

GhostUser · Nov 14, 2006

i'm the type of person that the more someone insists i do something, the more i dig in my heels. so not eating animal products even though it's "socially acceptable" at the time is easy for me.

Eclipse · Nov 15, 2006

By elinimating my social life ( not like I had much of one before) so I can get my career somewhat back on track)..Oh wait, I don't receomend this if you have a reliable source of income.

jojob1969 · Nov 15, 2006

Sometimes I feel tempted too. I've discovered that if I'm really hungry I crave omni food, but If I keep vegan snacks on hand and eat at regular intervals, I don't get these cravings. I think the cravings are just another form of hunger pang. Some peoples' stomaches growl, some people get cravings. Keep healthy snacks in your desk. If you go too long without eating the temptations will be harder to face. 
I read somewhere once that when you crave pizza you should eat an apple with a glass of tomato juice. The fiber from the apple helps to fill you up and the juice is like the sauce. (sort of). I don't know if this will help If the real pizza is sitting nest to your desk, but it may be worth a try. 
One thing I've been thinking of doing is getting a bumper sticker and a coat pin with a vegan message on it. If you have a pin on your coat that says "proud to be Vegan" you'll may be less tempted to order a steak sandwich when you go out to lunch. I know I would feel quite foolish if I went through a McDonald's drive through in a car that has a vegan bumper sticker! 
I hope you find some tips in this thread that help strengthen your resolve. Good luck and have a safe trip.

troub · Nov 15, 2006

"Mat 7:13-14 "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. " 
It's tends to be that the path to... enlightenment so to speak is the narrow one. As such, if the world is doing something that you know to be wrong, it probably is lol. Wide is the road that leads to destruction. 
In a recent bible study we were discussing what it means to be a Christian, and it was brought up. When you are renewed in Christ - you literally become a child of God. A child of the king of the universe. We literally become spiritual royalty. And that thought is just... breathtaking. 
We learn that we should expect to be hated by the world. Because we are no longer of the world. It's just how it is. It's something I've accepted long ago with being Christian, and something I've extended to being vegan. I expect to be the awkward one, the one people make jokes at and remarks at. But I don't care anymore. I've come to expect it in certain "Christian circles" as well. Sure, sometimes it feels a little lonely, and I would love to hop right in to the acceptance of the world, but I'm always reminded that this path is so much greater. 
With veganism as well, the world will try and conform us to the 'status quo' and will use whatever faulty logic they can muster. 
"it's already dead" 
"it's just a bite" 
"protein,calcium,blablabla" 
I think it helps to be mindful of this separation, although thats just my extremist black&white attitude talking, lol. I know certain friends will make comments about meat when we're together, but I'm used to it I guess. 
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying don't hang out with anyone but similar people - you'll never share the light like that - but just be mindful of your moral differences while hanging out with them. Be mindful of the moral difference when at work, at the market, wherever. 
and always remember why you are doing this. For them - the animals. Every bite, every time you put on your clothes, every time you reject that pizza for pb&j, you are doing SO much more then those activities, you are making a stand against cruelty. 
Look at it as not just eating something different, but as making a moral choice to not contribute to their suffering. While the world takes bites of "food", you are working toward change, all from what you put in your mouth each day. 
And if we could communicate, the animals would be greatfull.

Texaspice · Nov 15, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by troub <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
If you fail, you will look back in regret. 
If you overcome, you will look back in victory. </div>
</div>
 
Wow - I love that. 
I am never tempted because I always think like that. I think about how my actions will make me feel before I do them. Eating a slice of cheese pizza would make me feel guilty and weak (not to mention sick) and NOT eating the cheese pizza makes me feel strong and content. 
Being vegan makes me feel empowered. Like *I* am part of a change and so is every other vegan out there. You are making a difference! I am proud that you didn't cave in - but more importantly YOU should be proud of yourself. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/bow.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":bow:">

Lani · Nov 15, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by troub <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
If you fail, you will look back in regret. 
If you overcome, you will look back in victory. 
Feelings of temptation are only temporary and usually only consist of waiting them out. Shortly after going vegan my boss bought everyone pizza for lunch. I had only been vegan for a week or so at this point and I really wanted to cave and eat a piece, but I didn't. I did play with fire so to speak and get a good whiff of it on purpose, but I still see that point as my last temptation of pizza. 
At university all the meetings and club "kick off" parties are all pizza parties. Just a couple weeks ago we had a meeting concerning one of these groups and they had hot cocoa. I just had to remind myself of source of it, and knew that once I got back home I could have some vegan cocoa that would taste so much better. 
Sometimes we do need a reminder of why we are doing this. I just watched parts of earthlings again and ...wow - still haven't brought myself to watching it in its entirety though. just parts of it here and there. But it strengthens this resolve so much. 
The other day we went to SASHA farm, and spent some time with the animals. And wow. After seeing Elsie (the cow) and hugging her, she motioned for her head to be scratched, and it was just so heartbreaking that such a peaceful animal is brought to so much pain for peoples desire for cheese. 
I've been wanting to share an excerpt from a book on here for a while but haven't really gotten around to typing it, but I think this is a good time. 
to be continued...</div>
</div>
 
And this is why I find strength in everything that you write <3 Thanks

Toilet Duck · Nov 15, 2006

I guess the soup thing depends on where you live; I tend to get by ok in my town 'cause it's quite vegetarian centred being a student place. 
Interestingly, when I was in Austria (this was before I turned vegan) I actually went to a restaurant which did actually tell me one of their vegetable soups used meat stock. For such a meat based country, I was so suprised they grasped the concept of vegetable stock.

danakscully64 · Nov 29, 2006

Even if you cave once and a while, don't beat yourself up. Just get back on the vegan wagon and move on <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

">

How do you deal with peer pressure/will power issues?

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