[isowish]

Okay. So I don't believe in an afterlife of any sort, really. But I'm beginning to wish I did. I had never thought about it too deeply 'till a couple of days ago, when I was lying in bed and what I had believed on an intellectual level for a long time suddenly occurred to me on an emotional level. One day I was just going to not exist. I tried to think about what that would be like and then realised the paradox in this (which I'm sure has a proper name, but still). I realised there wouldn't be any ME at all. I wouldn't think and I wouldn't feel and I wouldn't exist. I felt so scared then. I felt my heartbeat speed up and fear gripped me like it hadn't ever before and I felt cold and on the verge of tears and overwhelmed. I distracted myself with TV and stuff but since then I keep having these moments when I realise that I will not exist and I have to distract myself again and I'm starting to feel like that's all my life is, just distracting myself from thinking about death until I die.

I know it's a stupid thing to worry about. I'm only 18, I'm not going to die soon, there's nothing I can do about it anyway, and I won't know once I'm dead. But I just can't keep my mind off it and it panics me so much. Is there any relief from feeling like this? Have any of you found ways to cope?

Mods, I don't know if this is in the right forum or not, so feel free to move it.

 

[Nishani]

Quote:

Originally Posted by isowish

Have any of you found ways to cope?

I just try to do the things which make me happiest as often as I can.

Thinking about the finality of death can be very overwhelming at times but in the end it's a very positive thing for me because it makes me appreciate the urgency of life much more than the someone who believes that we go on to something else. It reminds me to not treat life like a waiting room.

 

[isowish]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pixelle

I just try to do the things which make me happiest as often as I can.

Thinking about the finality of death can be very overwhelming at times but in the end it's a very positive thing for me because it makes me appreciate the urgency of life much more than the someone who believes that we go on to something else. It reminds me to not treat life like a waiting room.

Thanks for being the first to reply

I was a little worried that no-one would want to post about such a morbid topic.

I guess that makes some amount of sense, but it hasn't been positive for me so far. I don't care as much anymore about doing things that make me happy because once I'm dead I won't regret doing things or not doing things.

It also raises all kinds of questions like, is the truth more important than my happiness? Should I convince myself an afterlife exists even though I don't believe it to be true, so that I can be happier?

 

[Sevenseas]

Before you were born, there were millions of years of you not existing. How is death any worse than that?

 

[isowish]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sevenseas

Before you were born, there were millions of years of you not existing. How is death any worse than that?

that's been going over and over in my head too. Wasn't there a quote by someone famous to that effect? I forget who.

I don't find it comforting though, because I can only feel that it wasn't any worse, but I didn't have to fear it because I hadn't existed yet. I know I wont care once I'm dead, but it's the fear now that I hate.

 

[Sevenseas]

Quote:

Originally Posted by isowish

Wasn't there a quote by someone famous to that effect? I forget who.

Probably many people have raised the same idea, but Arthur Schopenhauer - a famous German pessimist philosopher - has written on this topic at length, arguing why death should not be feared -- and he's not arguing it from a theist perspective, on the contrary. So if you're really interested in this, you can search for some of his stuff in the library. Given that he's a pessimist though, it might make you even more depressed

 

[isowish]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sevenseas

Probably many people have raised the same idea, but Arthur Schopenhauer - a famous German pessimist philosopher - has written on this topic at length, arguing why death should not be feared -- and he's not arguing it from a theist perspective, on the contrary. So if you're really interested in this, you can search for some of his stuff in the library. Given that he's a pessimist though, it might make you even more depressed

I might look for it. Sounds like the kind of thing that would be difficult to "get in to" reading-wise though. Thanks.

 

[Sevenseas]

Also something to consider is that death gives life meaning. It is the very realization that this is all we're going to have that makes every moment as precious and valuable as it is.

 

[JayBaby]

Isowish i have had very similar thoughts! I haven't really gotten "panicky" about it but get tripped out thinking about my mind ceasing to think when i die, if you get what I mean and then feel sad because people die all the time and the world just goes on and thats it...your go is done.

And then i think what if i am "spending" my life doing the wrong things. Even though I am only 20 lol. But i think well **** i have already "used" a quarter of my life!! Ok Im probably not making you feel any better but at least you know other people think the same kinda things

I usually tell myself "I wont know im dead so it doesnt matter" but obviously we have both discovered that it isnt much of a consolation.

The other thing is that my mum once mentioned to me not long ago that she is ok with dying now. She doesnt want to die but it doesnt scare her either, like it did when she was younger. So I tell myself I will get over it as I live out my life and then by the time I am old and my body is ready to die, my mind will be ready too

(thats the theory anyway)

Eek hope that helped and didnt make ya feel even worse

 

[isowish]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JayBaby

Isowish i have had very similar thoughts! I haven't really gotten "panicky" about it but get tripped out thinking about my mind ceasing to think when i die, if you get what I mean and then feel sad because people die all the time and the world just goes on and thats it...your go is done.

And then i think what if i am "spending" my life doing the wrong things. Even though I am only 20 lol. But i think well **** i have already "used" a quarter of my life!! Ok Im probably not making you feel any better but at least you know other people think the same kinda things

I usually tell myself "I wont know im dead so it doesnt matter" but obviously we have both discovered that it isnt much of a consolation.

The other thing is that my mum once mentioned to me not long ago that she is ok with dying now. She doesnt want to die but it doesnt scare her either, like it did when she was younger. So I tell myself I will get over it as I live out my life and then by the time I am old and my body is ready to die, my mind will be ready too

(thats the theory anyway)

Eek hope that helped and didnt make ya feel even worse

that is my only consolation too. That I have heard SOME older people don't fear death as much as younger people do. I soooo hope I get like that as I age.

 

[karenlovessnow]

Ironicly, I think I would be less afraid of dying if I thought there was nothing after life! It's not that I'm that afraid now, a bit apprehensive maybe, but believing in Heaven makes me feel like I can never be good enough to get there! So if I didn't believe, I would feel a lot more relaxed! Think of it this way, "nothing" (as in no afterlife) is better than Hell!

(how's that?)

 

[isowish]

Quote:

Originally Posted by karenlovessnow

Think of it this way, nothing is better than Hell!

unless you read that sentence slightly differently

if anyone is going to heaven, karen, you are

 

[karenlovessnow]

Quote:

Originally Posted by isowish

unless you read that sentence slightly differently

if anyone is going to heaven, karen, you are

Ha, Ha...I better fix that!!!

And thank you!!!

 

[isowish]

Quote:

Originally Posted by karenlovessnow

Ha, Ha...I better fix that!!!

much better

 

[Medesha]

I get those "panic attacks" sometimes too. I'll have days, even weeks of morbidly fearing exactly what you expect -- nothingness. Even Hell seems better than that. At least I'd BE in Hell (or would I? Maybe Hell is nothingness?)

Anyway, my brain filters eventually kick in and I relax and get back to living. I hope that happens for you as well!

 

[Treehugger267]

Even if you don't believe in any after life, you have to know that you will live on through the good that you do and the happiness that you bring, in the hearts of all those who loved you.

Big hugs...live everyday to it's fullest and find the things that make you happy. No one is guaranteed tomorrow, today is a gift.

 

[vheogl]

I don't really believe in an afterlife, though i kind of believe in 'living again'.

To be a little blunt, my theroy on this is, if you're too busy fearing death you don't have time to live, so why waste the time? There's nothing you can do about it, just enjoy yourself and if you die you die, you're not going to know about it are you? So why bother caring? Life is about living, not worrying about dying. If you're going to worry about death, worry about the death of the ones you love, because that is really going to have an affect on you, your own death won't.

 

[bluegold]

Quote:

Originally Posted by isowish

Okay. what that would be like and then realised the paradox in this (which I'm sure has a proper name, but still). I realised there wouldn't be any ME at all. I wouldn't think and I wouldn't feel and I wouldn't exist. I felt so scared then. I felt my heartbeat speed up and fear gripped me like it hadn't ever before and I felt cold and on the verge of tears and overwhelmed. .

Its quite a positive realization what you have just described ......the impermanence of our existence . A foot hold to work through the fear of death .

You might /might not want to try next time just to observe the fear as an objective energy with out reasoning attached to it . If you can be aware of that space , just be aware of any sensation within your body eg temperature ,heat beat , pain , coldness and just observe untill they fade away

 

[GhostUser]

I don't have a fear of death. I think I am going to live forever or die trying.

 

[veggielove]

I don't really fear my own death.... Moreso I fear prematurely leaving behind people who need me. Perhaps that is why older people fear death less - they don't have small children to care for, etc. I do fear, greatly, harm or death to my loved ones, because I love them dearly and don't want any harm to come to them.

Death is a natural part of life, and obviously, I want to live a long and healthy one - but death is one of those things - its gonna happen, and after it does, whatever is there is there. I think if you live a good life, help others, give a lot of love, etc - you win out, whether or not you believe in an afterlife. If there's a god, he or she will welcome a good person with open arms. If there isn't, you've still done a lot of good with your days. IF there's something in between, some positive energy you can exist as - all the power to you, too, if you lived your life in a positive way! So that's how I try to live.