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Okay. So I don't believe in an afterlife of any sort, really. But I'm beginning to wish I did. I had never thought about it too deeply 'till a couple of days ago, when I was lying in bed and what I had believed on an intellectual level for a long time suddenly occurred to me on an emotional level. One day I was just going to not exist. I tried to think about what that would be like and then realised the paradox in this (which I'm sure has a proper name, but still). I realised there wouldn't be any ME at all. I wouldn't think and I wouldn't feel and I wouldn't exist. I felt so scared then. I felt my heartbeat speed up and fear gripped me like it hadn't ever before and I felt cold and on the verge of tears and overwhelmed. I distracted myself with TV and stuff but since then I keep having these moments when I realise that I will not exist and I have to distract myself again and I'm starting to feel like that's all my life is, just distracting myself from thinking about death until I die.
I know it's a stupid thing to worry about. I'm only 18, I'm not going to die soon, there's nothing I can do about it anyway, and I won't know once I'm dead. But I just can't keep my mind off it and it panics me so much. Is there any relief from feeling like this? Have any of you found ways to cope?
Mods, I don't know if this is in the right forum or not, so feel free to move it.
I know it's a stupid thing to worry about. I'm only 18, I'm not going to die soon, there's nothing I can do about it anyway, and I won't know once I'm dead. But I just can't keep my mind off it and it panics me so much. Is there any relief from feeling like this? Have any of you found ways to cope?
Mods, I don't know if this is in the right forum or not, so feel free to move it.