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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have to write a formal e-mail to the Financial Aid Office of my college to explain why I deserve more financial aid. It's going to be read by a sympathetic lady who works there, in front of the whole board. I <i>need</i> more aid desperately, as I only have enough money to pay for the first semester. If something isn't worked out soon, I'll have to leave after December.<br><br><br><br>
So, I need advice. How should I do this formal e-mail? I have no idea where to begin. I have to send this soon, since the lady wants to take it to the board on Monday. Any suggestions, words of wisdom, and tips for making this e-mail sound formal and intelligent would be very much appreciated.
 

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This is just off the top of my head, but maybe you could start with saying how much you've enjoyed attending the college your at and even include a meaningful experience you've had there. Then go on to to explain your situation. If your marks are good, mention them too. Finish by telling them how important education is to you. Play up to their sympathies but still sound intelligent and level-headed <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well, see, that's a great idea, but I've yet to attend the school. This next semester will be my first, and possibly my last.
 

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Here is an idea.<br><br>
First tell them how much you are looking forward to the opportunities available to you at "their" school.<br><br><br><br>
Then, let them know how special you are and what you can contribute to the school's community.
 

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You have to write it from an emotional stand point. Reel them in. What is unique about you and your life thus far? What is different about you than the other students that can't afford to go there? What will you contribute to that college as a result of your unique experiences? I'm pretty good at writing college essays, so if you want any help, or want someone to review what you wrote e-mail it to me. <a href="mailto:[email protected]">[email protected]</a>. I find it's best to write from the heart, but you have to make them interested first.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by Vegankat</i><br><br><b>I have to write a formal e-mail to the Financial Aid Office of my college to explain why I deserve more financial aid. It's going to be read by a sympathetic lady who works there, in front of the whole board. I <i>need</i> more aid desperately, as I only have enough money to pay for the first semester. If something isn't worked out soon, I'll have to leave after December.<br><br></b></div>
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Kat,<br><br><br><br>
Please don't think I am unsympathetic to your situation, but I really do not understand what is causing this. I never applied for financial aid when I went to school--except for loans--so I am not really familiar with the process, except for what I have read.<br><br><br><br>
From what I understand, the college (a)tries to put together an estimate of the total costs of attending, then (b) tries to figure out how much your family can afford to pay (based on their income, etc.), then (c) puts together an aid "package" to fill the gap.<br><br><br><br>
So, which of these elements is "off" in your case? Why is their "package" inadequate for you?<br><br><br><br>
My feeling--and this is not based on experience here--is that trying to submit objective factual evidence will get you farther than being emotional or what not. If someone could get more money just by being emotional, then lots of people would be making emotional pleas and the resources would be overwhelmed with requests. I am not saying that it needs to be unemotional to the point of being inhuman, but I think any emotional pleading needs to be coupled to the strongest logical and factual case you can make.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
What is "off", Joe, is that my family's total income has been reduced to a third of what it was when I completed my FAFSA form last winter, because the company my father works for is going bankrupt, and now my mother is using her retirement funds to buy groceries, which means my family is now unable to pay the remaining cost of my education even after my scholarships, loans, and grants.<br><br><br><br>
In other words, MY FAMILY IS NOW POOR. We can't pay for ****. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/mad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":mad:"> If I don't get some sort of help, I'm not going to get to go to college.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by Vegankat</i><br><br><b>What is "off", Joe, is that my family's total income has been reduced to a third of what it was when I completed my FAFSA form last winter, because the company my father works for is going bankrupt, and now my mother is using her retirement funds to buy groceries, which means my family is now unable to pay the remaining cost of my education even after my scholarships, loans, and grants.<br><br><br><br>
In other words, MY FAMILY IS NOW POOR. We can't pay for ****. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/mad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":mad:"> If I don't get some sort of help, I'm not going to get to go to college.</b></div>
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I am really sorry to hear this, and sorry about your father's company.<br><br><br><br>
I think what you just said above is what you need to say in your e-mail to the Financial Aid office. You might try to see if there is any documentation on your Dad's company's bankruptcy filing (like newspaper accounts, especially in the financial press, etc.).(PM me with the name and address of the company and I'll try to look for stuff that might be helpful in terms of documentation.)<br><br><br><br>
I think if you can go to college--even for one semester--you should, to get your foot in the door. You could only benefit from alumni connections, etc. You can always go back after "stopping out" for a year or two, if economic factors allow.
 

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*I'm wondering the same thing myself* Need anymore advice VeganKat?<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by 1vegan</i><br><br><b>I only read this now....so to late to give advice, but how did it turn out ?</b></div>
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Well, the people at the school are sympathetic. All I have to do is get my father to fill out a sheet stating his losses, and send a current paystub. . . easier said than done. He's being such an ass about it, as if it's hurting me that he won't help get the amount we have to pay reduced. I mean, it sort of does, because if we can't pay it, I'll have to leave the school, but it would help him too if he'd just do what he has to do. I really hate my father.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/mad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":mad:">
 

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Can't you go to your father and make him hand it over ?<br><br><br><br>
Sometimes it helps to make an emotional claim on a parent, but it depends on what kind of person your father is.<br><br><br><br>
You should keep calling him, even to the point of harresment.<br><br><br><br>
This is important, it justifies the means.
 
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