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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have the most wonderful husband in the world. He's always there for me and for our daughter. He is the kind of person who will give you the shirt off of his back - unfortunately, because of his kindness, people tend to take advantage of him. Anyway, my husband agreed to video and photograph a recital that my daughter and I performed in. The arrangement was this: he was to take photos on rehearsal night, and then video the show. He invested lots of time and money to insure things would run smoothly. Well....the owner of the studio, who by the way did not pay my husband to do any of this, told him that there would be a change to his plans. One of the students got sick at rehearsal and was not able to perform that night. Therefore, she was not in any of the pictures. So, my husband was told to set up his video camera at the back of the auditorium and then he was asked to sit in the front row and retake pictures. At first my husband told them that this was not a good idea, as he would have no control over what was happening with the video. They told him that if he set the camera up and turned it on, things should be okay. My husband told them that he would do this, but he again explained to them that if no one was sitting with the video camera, there would be no guarantee as to the quality of the video. Makes sense to me....one person can only be in one place at one time. Anyway....after the first half of the show, my husband checked on the video camera and all was fine. He then went back to his seat in the front row and continued on with the second half of the show. Well...it turns out that the outlet that his video camera was plugged into somehow had the power turned off. The entire second half of the show was not taped. Needless to say, we were not happy when we discovered this. He saw that the power was turned off when he went to unplug everything after the show, but he assumed that the power was turned off BECAUSE the show was over. After all, they were turning off the power on lots of things at that time. It wasn't until we got home that he discovered that the power had been turned off sooner. What's sad is that people were not asking to buy pictures, they wanted the video and the only way my husband was going to make back any money that he invested was to sell videos. Now, that is not going to happen.

He told the studio today what happened and they were so upset. They kept asking him why he didn't go back there, and he kept reminding them that they were the ones who wanted him to sit up front and take pictures and that they were the ones who told him to leave the camera on unattended. He said that he could not obviously be in two places at the same time. He told them that he checked on things during intermission, and all was fine at that point. When they turned off the power, he does not know. It had to be shortly before the start of the second half. Anyway...the studio complained that their name was now at stake and when my husband said his name was at stake, too, they boldly told him "NO IT'S NOT" and then informed him that they could no longer speak to him. That was the end of the conversation.

I feel so badly for my husband. I don't like the way the studio is treating him. I know that everyone is upset about the video, believe me, I cried when I found out. After all, I never got to see my daughter perform, and both of our numbers were in the second half. I just wished there were something I could do. Part of me wants to yell at the studio....(if you knew how they ran things, you would definitely understand the frustration. My costume was made by the woman who owns/runs the studio. She didn't even bother to put a zipper, snaps or anything on the back of the vest that I had to wear - I had to pin it closed so I wouldn't be naked on stage. I would have fixed my own costume, but she didn't even allow me to try it on to see if it even fit until the dress rehearsal, and then, no one was allowed to take their costume home until the show was completely over. She told me the day of the show that she meant to bring it home and finish the costume, but she forgot to do it.)....part of me wants to never go back there for dance lessons....part of me wants to fix the problem, but I don't know how. I hate all of this. I blamed my husband at first for not being forceful enough when they first told him to not sit back there with the camera. I kept thinking he should have told them "too bad" and stuck by his schedule. But it's not his fault. He was trying to make them happy, and it turns out that no matter what he did, it back fired. I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice on this subject????
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
The auditorium staff are the ones who turned off the power.

The wife who runs the studio just had her husband call my husband. They want him to turn over the portion of the video that he has so they can try to paste together a video by using tapes that other people snuck into the show. What's sad is again, there is no mention as to paying my husband for any of what he did. The husband kept asking my husband how this happened. My husband told him about the power situation, but then told him that regardless of what happened, the bottom line is that if my husband had been allowed to sit with the video camera, he would have been able to divert this disaster. Oh...funny thing. My husband asked them if they had a way to view the digital video since they were demanding the video tape now. They said no, they had no way to view it. So...my husband told them they would have to wait until he had the time to put the video together for them. Originally, my husband bought tons of equipment in order to edit the video professionally....now, since they are being so demanding, (and since he could hear the wife in the background griping in spanish) he said he is not going to give them an edited copy. They can edit the thing themselves.

Oh....if I didn't have an ulcer, I have one now.
 

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I feel sad for you all. Did your daughter somehow remain protected from all this?

I think, depending on that mostly, I wouldn't go back, myself. If it were me, and I had a daughter and she was not affected by it, I'd let her continue on as long as the owners and whoever else involved keeps her out of it. It would be tough though, since I'd probably want to pull her out; but that would be selfish. If, however, she knew what happened and understood it all and decided on her own that she wanted to leave, I'd let her.

If you feel okay about staying then just stay. Do you have another place you could go for lessons if you chose to leave?

I hope things get better for you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
My daughter takes ballet at a different studio. There is such a difference between the two studios, and my daughter has definitely expressed that part to us. The ballet studio is very professional. They are extremely organized, and they are very gentle when dealing with the students. There is no yelling or screaming and in return, they have earned the respect of their students. I made it a point to praise the owners/teachers for all of this on the day of the recital. When we saw the recital, it became very clear that this school is grooming their students for bigger and better things: professional ballet & broadway. They do not perform for anyone at any time except for their yearly recital. The show was amazing and it was free. (students paid a fee to be in the show)

The other studio is very chaotic, disorganized and they yell and scream when things don't go the way they want. They started rehearsals back in Feb., but did not complete the choreography until the final rehearsal in May. This was difficult, especially for the little ones like my daughter, as they never knew what they were supposed to do from one minute to the next. Because I was in the show this year, I saw first hand how disorganized they were and I saw how cruel they could be. The mother of the teachers would single out kids and then pick on them. I am normally very quiet when it comes to people bickering, but several times I spoke up because I could not take the abuse. I know of one parent who took their two children out of the show and quit the studio because of the abuse. The studio even pulled me aside one day and told me my daughter was having problems in rehearsal. Turns out, that's when my daughter expressed that at her ballet school, they learned the dance and then worked at perfecting the moves. At this other place, they would have her stand in one spot and then later move her to another spot, and then move her again....after awhile, she didn't know what she was supposed to be doing. The sad thing is that the daughters (the teachers) are actually one of the best performers and teachers available. It's their mother who is the problem. I don't know where else we can take belly dance and flamenco....but I don't know if I want to subject my daughter, or myself to any more abuse. Oh....my husband also does their website. They complain that he is charging them too much per month to maintain the site. (he charges them $55) It would be one thing if they didn't have him make changes to the site on a regular basis, but they do. We pay more than $55 per month just to have a dedicated server to allow my husband to host their site, so we aren't even making money on any of this yet. I will leave a link to the site and I would love everyone's honest opinion of his work.

www.danmardancestudio.com

okay...I guess I've gone on long enough.....Oh...my stomach really does hurt.
 

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Oh, my! That is a great site. I love how the pages switch like they're melting from one to another. And the instructors page is nice too. Normally, those are boring to look through, but they're set up nicely. They sure sound like they've got experienced people. The one man played soccer and knows martial arts. Geez, is it too much to expect they would act like professionals?

I think the best is the videos, though. It has the broadband or dialup option. That's really neat.

Looks like he put a lot of work and time into it. I'd be proud of it!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by Strix



Looks like he put a lot of work and time into it. I'd be proud of it!
Thanks, Strix, for the kind words. I read what you wrote to my husband and you brought a smile to his face. He wanted me to say thanks to you, too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I just wanted to add one more thing. Tonight, my husband seemed more at peace with the entire situation. This makes me happy. It's hard to see someone you love hurting. I don't understand one thing, though. Why is it that he's finally at peace, but I can't seem to let this thing go? I know that one problem is that I loved my class and was looking forward to going back in July. But, I believe in loyalty to one's family, and I don't want to support a place that has mistreated my husband. I keep hoping that this situation will resolve itself, but deep down I have doubts. I would love to find a new school for my daughter and I to attend, but I've yet to locate a place that teaches belly dance that's affordable and that has good teachers. Maybe I'm just being selfish. It's just that it was really fun learning to do something that I had always dreamed of doing since I was a little girl. Maybe it's just time to close this chapter in my life and move on. I just wished I didn't feel so sad.
 

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Well hopefully you've both learned some lessons from this:

1) Learn to say no.

2) Get EVERYTHING in writing.

Sucks to have to learn things the hard way--doesn't help that the studio were such dicks about it too.

If you want to take this thing further, you could gather up all the receipts from all the equipment your husband bought, contact a lawyer and attempt to recoup your expenses via a civil suit. Since you have no documentation proving anything, it could be difficult (and expensive). Not to mention, put more strain on the relationship between you & the studio.

My dad is just like your husband, and I, unfortunately, inherited his tendency to allow myself to be taken advantage of. I used to watch my dad bend over backwards for everyone, to his own detriment.

I had a roommate that ended up costing me thousands of dollars, and my college degree, because I was too timid to stand up for myself. I finally got fed up.

Never again. I learned to be assertive about MY needs, and so does your husband. There might not be anything you can do about this particular situation, except to make sure it doesn't happen again (and that your daughter isn't learning the same lessons I learned from my father).
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks GS...I never thought of things the way you pointed them out. It never occured to me that my daughter could be learning to let people walk all over her. I grew up in a home that didn't allow anyone to say "no". So, for me, I'm bad about agreeing to do things and then regretting it later. I will give your comments some serious thought....the last thing I want is for my daughter to grow up and become a door mat to society.
 

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Maybe you and your husband need to get some books on writing contracts, bc someday you may end up in a situation where not only the other party is being rude, but also trying to sue you or something. When time and money is involved, you can't take chances

Please tell your husband to not transfer the digital to tape for them. They have treated him like crap, why should he invest more of his precious time for them? He should cut off contact with them as well. Don't enable those people to be a-holes anymore.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

These people are going to drain your whole familie's psyche and make you sick. I would run and not look back.
 
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