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I like Charity's suggestion, which is to just bypass the whole vegan thing and just say, "Order one without cheese for me -- I know, I'm weird, that's just the way I like it." or however you want to say it. It's not necessary to explain to your poor grandparents what a vegan is, why you're a vegan, etc, just own up to being a picky eater and ask if they could order it for you the way you like it.

OR, you could take charge of the ordering when you get in the house, ask her where she orders from, grab the phone book, get orders from everyone, and place the order yourself. This way you can talk to the pizza guy and don't even have to involve anyone else.

And I'm sorry about your grandfather being ill.
 
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