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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been a vegan now for about six months, a vegetarian for 4 years. It's taken my family, especially the older folks, a long time to understand and accept that I do not eat meat. My quandry; I feel very strongly about not eating any animal by products, however, my Grandmother invited me over to her house. My grandfather is very sick and this may be the last time I see him. She told me that she'll order pizza, but she isn't aware that I don't do dairy. Do I just suck it up and eat the pizza, the road of least resistance, or do I stick by my moral stance? Some advice is much appreciated.
 

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Stick by your morals. You'll probably regret it if you don't (I know I would).

You have a few options here:

-You can ask her to order a pizza without cheese. Most likely she'll be ordering more than one pizza anyway.. Ask for a small or medium with extra sauce, lots of veggies, and no cheese. If you don't feel comfortable/up to explaining veganism.. Just say "I like it better that way. That's how they do it in Italy."

-You could, just.. pull the cheese off. I mean, yea.. there might be residue, and.. eww.. but. If it's better than nothing?

-Or you could pack yourself a sandwich.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
So I'm not a complete jerk for declining? I spend way to much time with omnis. I think alot of people want to see us "fail". Not meaning my granparents, mind you, they just don't understand. But the rest of my family, and co-workers. It's always "can't you just this once?" GRRRR!
 

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I like Charity's suggestion, which is to just bypass the whole vegan thing and just say, "Order one without cheese for me -- I know, I'm weird, that's just the way I like it." or however you want to say it. It's not necessary to explain to your poor grandparents what a vegan is, why you're a vegan, etc, just own up to being a picky eater and ask if they could order it for you the way you like it.

OR, you could take charge of the ordering when you get in the house, ask her where she orders from, grab the phone book, get orders from everyone, and place the order yourself. This way you can talk to the pizza guy and don't even have to involve anyone else.

And I'm sorry about your grandfather being ill.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Pizza with sauce and veggies... I don't digest cheese well... yep, that's it! Like you said, no need in going over the meaning of "vegan", and the thought of cheese makes my stomach rumble. So it's a polite way to get around the aversion. And thanks for your concern. My grandfather is tough as nails, had one of the first triple bypass surgeries in 1969, was given 2 years, and is still with us. He has had testicular and throat cancer within the past three years, but this round of chemo and radiation didn't take. I guess it's part of the circle of life.
 

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You could also say you're trying to cut down on fats and that's why you don't want the cheese.

I often get the feeling that some of my omni friends are just waiting for me to "fail." Quite annoying, really. Maybe I should point out when they eat a vegan meal by accident.
 

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i'm very sorry about your grandfather. best wishes to you and your family.

on the pizza note, i eat cheeseless pizza way too much. i used to work at domino's (and my boyfriend still does) and people order pizza without cheese all the time. nobody even thinks twice about it. also, at least at the stores here, you can order just half of a pizza with cheese and politely ask them to be careful when cutting it. we got a lot of orders like this. so that's one other option.
good luck whatever you decide, family situations like this can be so hard.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I eat dairy and I often order pizza without cheese on those days that I don't want the extra calories of cheese.

I always say "I like it that way sometimes."

However, do not make a big issue out of this. This is a special gathering and food debates have no part in it.
 

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if you don't digest the cheese well, you're probably lactose intolerant. Tell grandma that you're lactose intolerant, she'll *make sure* that there's no cheese. grandma loves you.


my sister, who is not veggie, is now dairy free and lactose intolerant. Whenever people push her to "just this once" have some kind of dairy, she goes into a long (and funny) story about aches, pains, burning, gas that can clear a room and make people faint, etc. She's funny and dramatic, so it works for her. But, you may be more low-key about it.

you can explain like Charity suggested (i prefer the italian way) or say that you're lactose intolerant--both of which are true, without getting into the whole vegan thing.

And if they won't budge, just bring a salad and eat that. Brind enough for everyone: "I thought it would be great to have a fresh salad with our pizza!"

Be well and happy!
 
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