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Hi everyone! I am a new vegetarian/vegan. I have been struggling with my diet for a long time and really trying to stay 100% plant based since April of this year, with a few slip ups here and there. For health reasons, I have found I thrive so much better eating only foods that have a high fiber content. About seven years ago, my entire large intestines were removed and it has been very difficult for me to live a somewhat "normal" life since then. I have played around with my diet for so long and have found the plant based diet works best. My main struggles now are this;

First, although my husband of 6 years is very supportive of my diet endeavors, he is omnivore and will remain that way, and it is so hard sometimes to not desire the pizza he is eating in front of me when I am in a weak, vulnerable state, along with any other foods he chooses to eat around me. I can't ask him not to eat what he always has eaten, it isn't fair of me, just because I have chosen to change my diet so drastically. And he refuses to even put a vegetable in his mouth, so I can't even get him to add any of my new recipes to his diet. Also, I am not sure how to get out of cooking the animal products for my family after all these years of doing it, is that even fair of me to do? I just don't want to put myself in anymore tempting situations, but I am the one who has changed, not my family, and it doesn't feel fair of me to do this to them (I have a 14yr old son as well who is with me half the week and his father's the other half and they are all omnivore). I find myself in bad situations craving and feeling deprived and resentful and jealous and angry frequently. How long will it take before I am at peace with my diet and okay with him eating his?

Also, I have become obsessed with diet regimes, food thoughts and my weight. I am 41 years old and do need to lose about 20 more pounds. Since May, I have lost about 20 pounds, but, I feel within six months of being pretty strict overall with my diet, I should have lost all the excess weight by now. I am angry and fed up by now at the extremely slow progress of my weight loss. I lost 10 pounds right away in May after doing 2 weeks 100% raw, but then got pneumonia from the detox. I went back to my regular diet for a time before I tried veggie again. I then added exercise into the mix and lost about 6 more pounds in 2 months. Now I exercise a lot. I do a spinning class 3 times a week, I do weights 3 times a week and I usually add eliptical 2 more times a week, about 6 hours a week in hard exercising along with the Joel Fuhrman "Eat to Live" type diet plan. I eat tons of fruits and leafy greens along with legumes and only a little bit of grains and nuts/seeds. Why won't the weight come off, but I guess more importantly, how can I just stop caring about that extra few pounds, stop obsessing over food and diet and the scale and live in peace with myself and my better overall health that I am experiencing. It feels like it is becoming a sickness. My dreams are even consumed by these obsessive thoughts of food and extreme dieting- when I do slip up and cheat, I feel so incredibly guilty and like a huge failure that will never look good and get to goal.

Sorry this is so long, but I am desperate for some advice; I really have nobody around that understands what I am going through or will care to listen and help. Thanks much for any suggestions/advice anyone has to offer.
 

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I'm a new vegetarian too
I'm doing this by myself as well-my husband and three kids still eat meat. I've only been a vegetarian for a few weeks but so far it's working well for me to just tweak the meals I prepare my family, and leave out the meat for mine. For instance I made homemade fried rice and took my portion out before I added chicken to my family's. One of our favorite meals is a baked potato bar, and I topped my potato with extra veggies and skipped the bacon. At this point I'm not trying to make fancy vegetarian meals but just adjust the ones I already know how to make. Down the road, after I get more comfortable eating this way, then I'll start getting more adventurous
As for weight-I've been a yo-yo dieter most of my life and I'm DONE with it. I'm tired of counting calories, weighing myself every day, losing a few pounds but then gain more back etc. I've only weighed myself once since I became a vegetarian and I'm down about a pound. Not huge progress, but I know I won't be gaining it back so that's a big step in the right direction right there! I've got about 10lbs to go, and I know eventually I'll get there. I started this process cutting out meat, but after reading about how bad dairy is (for health and weight), I'm slowly cutting that out now as well. I've officially elminated butter from my diet. Next step will be cutting out sour cream and cream cheese. I think once dairy is gone from my diet I'll lose weight more quickly. A couple good books to read are Skinny B*tch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, and The China Study by T. Colin Campbell. I got them from the library and both talk about vegetarianism as it relates to weight loss/good health.
 

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Try to be patient with the weight loss. Losing 20 pounds since May is a steady healthy weight loss. Rapid weight loss is difficult to keep off long term. Personally I've lost 24 pounds in 8 months being veg for the past 5 months. I could stand to lose about 9 more pounds, but I'm not really concerned about it...
 

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Hello and welcome.

I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time, but it's great to hear that your putting so much effort into leading a healthier lifestyle. I've never had to deal with most of these issues, personally, but there are a number of other vegetarians/vegans around the forums who lead their lives while living with omni spouses and children, so I'm sure you'll find support around here. Try not to let all the negative feelings overwhelm you and hang in there.
 

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I'm new too, but feeling so blessed because my husband (omnivore and thinks 'he' will die if he has a meal without meat) supports that I feel I need to do this for my health. We make meals that can be adapted (like veggie chili that he adds meat to), my supervisor at work is a long-time vegetarian (as are several other co-workers) so it isn't a hassle to get a veggie meal at a lunch meeting, to be honest (because people look at you funny if you admit this) I've never really liked the taste/smell/texture of meat so it isn't that hard (other than people thinking I'm weird) to give it up, but... I've been on a 'diet' (not veg*n) for thirty years and the only result is that I'm 50 pounds heavier than when I started (rather than three times my high school weight like everyone else on both sides of my family). You've lost 20 pounds since May and I've gained 2 or 3, so you are doing great and should be proud of yourself!
 

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someone in 'fat sick and nearly dead' said she was going for healthy, not skinny...i love that! it really help put things into the right perspective for me. i, too, live with omnivores and do all of the cooking. i just keep adding more veggies to the dishes and less meats. also, cook meat-free meals a few times a week...they're beginning not to notice...lol! hang in there! go for healthy, and the weight you need to drop, will drop in a healthy, stead-fast pace. what's great is that this is not a diet, it's a lifestyle so all the weight has to come off!
 

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I think that while it is unfair of you to ask your husband to change his diet, you can be more persistent in getting him to try your new recipes. You can also ask him, because it IS for your health, not your taste, to not eat or keep the less healthy foods (the pizza, bugers, etc.) in front of you. Best of luck to you.
 
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