VeggieBoards banner

1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What a subject line ne? I wasn't sure just where to post this but this seemed the best place.<br><br><br><br>
My friend who was the only vegetarian friend I had, recently went back to eating meat. She has been dating this idiot (and he is an idiot ... trust me) and he has been trying to get her to eat meat since they started dating.<br><br><br><br>
She resisted for the longest time, and then the other day she calls me and tells me:<br><br><br><br>
Her: "I wanted to tell you this over the phone so you wouldn't jump on me." (or something to this affect)<br><br>
Me:.....<br><br>
Her: "You are going to think it's Wesley's fault but it isn't."<br><br>
Me:..... scared now since her boyfriend is an idiot as I've stated before!<br><br>
Her: "I'm going to eat meat again."<br><br><br><br>
and then she starts getting all defensive (without me saying ANYTHING) and goes on and on and on. About how it isn't him, she needs more protein ... blah blah blah<br><br><br><br>
I wanted to ask her who she was trying to convince me or herself.<br><br><br><br>
I am a loss as to what to do. It bothers me that she quit being a veggie and it bothers me that she KNOWS it's wrong to go back to eating meat. If she didn't think she was wrong, she wouldn't have gotten so defensive with me.<br><br><br><br>
Help!!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
She obviously knows the consecuenses (???) of what she has done and once they kick in she will have to live with them. She also knows that this guy has talked her into going against something that she really believes in. My advice? One day the polish will wear off and she'll tell him where to go. In the mean time, tell her how you feel and then leave it. The last thing she needs is another person she cares about nagging her. Just be a friend and be there when she needs you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,606 Posts
You could do something really juvenile like... Sitting with a really adorable kitten in your lap and talking about how good you bet it would taste in barbecue sauce. (She might realize the errors of eating meat.. ehm.)<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> But I just like to be controversial.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,660 Posts
I have a view on this, but stating it may get me condemned by lots of people on this board.<br><br><br><br>
But here goes. It is a choice whether or not to eat meat. But it is also a choice as to how often to eat it, how much to eat, etc. In other words, every meal is a new choice. Even if your friend does go back to eating meat, she can still eat less of it than most people do and/or eat it less often.<br><br><br><br>
The American Heart Association, for example, now recommends that people eat no more than 6 oz. of meat per day. This is about the same as was allowed under food rationing during WW2.<br><br><br><br>
There are also cookbooks that you could steer your friend to, like Cornelia Carlson's <span style="text-decoration:underline;">The Practically Meatless Gourmet</span>, that uses meat as an ingredient rather than the centerpiece of a meal.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,606 Posts
If she *is* influenced by the boyfriend.. Then she probably sees eating as a social event. You and the beau go out to dinner, well, he chooses a steak place. What are you gonna do? You order the meat dish. That doesn't mean she'll be cooking up burgers on her own time.<br><br><br><br>
Just a thought.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Maybe if she's willing to give up vegetarianism that easily it was never really *that* important to her in the first place?<br><br><br><br>
i had a friend like that i used to work with. over the course of a couple years that i knew her she had 4 boyfriends, and every time she would get a new one she would adjust her self, her beliefs, her lifestyle and opinions to suit those of her new boyfriends. she was dating a mormon guy, she told us all she starting beliving in god and she wants to become mormon, then they broke up and she never mentioned it again. then she dated a guy who was in college, and so she started taking classes too, but when they broke up she stopped going. and so on and so on. it was almost funny to a point.<br><br><br><br>
im not saying YOUR friend is like that, but im just saying, maybe her reasons for being veggie weren't as important to her as she or you once thought. I think that if she has strong convictions and really believes that not eating meat is the way to live, she will realize it and stop eating it again.<br><br><br><br>
Also, maybe try giving her some good info on how easy it is to get more then enough protein (AND calcium and iron and everything) on a vegan diet, so there goes that excuse. theres some stuff about that on this site:<br><br><br><br><a href="http://www.veganoutreach.org/health/stayinghealthy.html" target="_blank">http://www.veganoutreach.org/health/stayinghealthy.html</a><br><br><br><br>
theres a better one but i forget it, ill post it if i find it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by Secura</i><br><br><b>Maybe if she's willing to give up vegetarianism that easily it was never really *that* important to her in the first place?<br><br><br><br>
i had a friend like that i used to work with. over the course of a couple years that i knew her she had 4 boyfriends, and every time she would get a new one she would adjust her self, her beliefs, her lifestyle and opinions to suit those of her new boyfriends. she was dating a mormon guy, she told us all she starting beliving in god and she wants to become mormon, then they broke up and she never mentioned it again. then she dated a guy who was in college, and so she started taking classes too, but when they broke up she stopped going. and so on and so on. it was almost funny to a point.<br><br><br><br>
im not saying YOUR friend is like that, but im just saying, maybe her reasons for being veggie weren't as important to her as she or you once thought. I think that if she has strong convictions and really believes that not eating meat is the way to live, she will realize it and stop eating it again.<br><br><br><br>
Also, maybe try giving her some good info on how easy it is to get more then enough protein (AND calcium and iron and everything) on a vegan diet, so there goes that excuse. theres some stuff about that on this site:<br><br><br><br><a href="http://www.veganoutreach.org/health/stayinghealthy.html" target="_blank">http://www.veganoutreach.org/health/stayinghealthy.html</a><br><br><br><br>
theres a better one but i forget it, ill post it if i find it.</b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I've let her borrow two of my books on veganism and vegetarianism which tells people where they can get protein in a vegetarian diet. She is just 'following him' It's sad, but true.<br><br><br><br>
The bad thing is before he kept saying in front of me that 'he was going to change her mind on the not eating meat.' and the last time I saw them together (in passing) he was eating meat and so was she and he was making comments about how 'great' the meat was. The guy is a total @ss.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by CharityAJO</i><br><br><b>If she *is* influenced by the boyfriend.. Then she probably sees eating as a social event. You and the beau go out to dinner, well, he chooses a steak place. What are you gonna do? You order the meat dish. That doesn't mean she'll be cooking up burgers on her own time.<br><br><br><br>
Just a thought.</b></div>
</div>
<br>
She will be. She was already cooking it for him when he was over at her apartment. >_< Before when they went out to eat, he ordered meat and she ordered veggie alternatives.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by CharityAJO</i><br><br><b>You could do something really juvenile like... Sitting with a really adorable kitten in your lap and talking about how good you bet it would taste in barbecue sauce. (She might realize the errors of eating meat.. ehm.)<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> But I just like to be controversial.</b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
LOL! I did say something to her when I saw her with the idiot... erm him. She was eating a chicken sandwich and said, "is it bothering you that I'm eating this?" I told her that I was trying not to look at it and after the show I had seen the other night, I was GLAD I wasn't eating it. She didn't say anything after that!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by desty</i><br><br><b>She obviously knows the consecuenses (???) of what she has done and once they kick in she will have to live with them. She also knows that this guy has talked her into going against something that she really believes in. My advice? One day the polish will wear off and she'll tell him where to go. In the mean time, tell her how you feel and then leave it. The last thing she needs is another person she cares about nagging her. Just be a friend and be there when she needs you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"></b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I am around when she needs me. I just get blown off all the time when 'he' needs her. She IS going to wake up one day and be really sorry she wasted her time on him. She is also going to be sorry she ever went back to eating meat.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by Joe</i><br><br><b>I have a view on this, but stating it may get me condemned by lots of people on this board.<br><br><br><br>
But here goes. It is a choice whether or not to eat meat. But it is also a choice as to how often to eat it, how much to eat, etc. In other words, every meal is a new choice. Even if your friend does go back to eating meat, she can still eat less of it than most people do and/or eat it less often.<br><br><br><br>
The American Heart Association, for example, now recommends that people eat no more than 6 oz. of meat per day. This is about the same as was allowed under food rationing during WW2.<br><br><br><br>
There are also cookbooks that you could steer your friend to, like Cornelia Carlson's <span style="text-decoration:underline;">The Practically Meatless Gourmet</span>, that uses meat as an ingredient rather than the centerpiece of a meal.</b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
She has lots of vegetarian cookbooks. She LIKES being a vegetarian, but she wants 'to please him' It is really sad when someone gives up something they believe in for a relationship that isn't going to last a year.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
878 Posts
i agree with joe kinda<br><br>
if it is her choise to do this well then there is nothing you can do but if she is being influenced by her boyfrined well then maybe her if she would seriously eat meat again if she was not with this guy dont nag about it though! tell us what happens !
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,914 Posts
Well, I hate to say this, but I think you're just going to have to let it go. You know, just be a friend. It's her choice.<br><br><br><br>
Her boyfriend can't force her to eat meat, no more than you can force her not to eat meat. She's making a choice here to go back to an omni diet. And as a grown up (I assume) human being, it is her choice to make. Also...even though boyfriend is an *******, boyfriend is the choice she is making. You know, she's going to have to make her own choices...mistakes and errors. That's how human beings learn things.<br><br><br><br>
Hang in there.<br><br><br><br>
B
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by *sprout*</i><br><br><b>i agree with joe kinda<br><br>
if it is her choise to do this well then there is nothing you can do but if she is being influenced by her boyfrined well then maybe her if she would seriously eat meat again if she was not with this guy dont nag about it though! tell us what happens !</b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I never see her anymore to nag her. ^^; I did tell her that when she ate over at my house I'd have yummy veggie fare for her!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by bethanie</i><br><br><b>Well, I hate to say this, but I think you're just going to have to let it go. You know, just be a friend. It's her choice.<br><br><br><br>
Her boyfriend can't force her to eat meat, no more than you can force her not to eat meat. She's making a choice here to go back to an omni diet. And as a grown up (I assume) human being, it is her choice to make. Also...even though boyfriend is an *******, boyfriend is the choice she is making. You know, she's going to have to make her own choices...mistakes and errors. That's how human beings learn things.<br><br><br><br>
Hang in there.<br><br><br><br>
B</b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I know. I just worry about her. If he talked her into eating meat, what else will he talk her in to? >_<
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
38 Posts
It sounds to me like your friend is trying to convince herself. She has made the wrong decision and deep down subconsciously she knows it. My advice to you is to be supportive of her decision, eventually she will realize she has made a mistake and perhaps even drop this guy. I agree with Desty he(her boyfriend) has been nagging on her constantly about eating meat, and the last thing she needs is someone else nagging her too.<br><br>
I know it is hard for you and very disapointing because she is your only vegetarian friend, but right now she needs a true friend, If this guy is an idiot like you say and he sounds like one, then she will one day realize it and she will need you when it happens.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Very interesting conversation. This reminds me of all the Indian people who arrive in the USA for the first time and come across the cultural shock of not finding veg food in most places (the food they find tasty, at least. To them, salad is fit for cows, not humans ;-)).<br><br><br><br>
They were born vegs and have been living in veg households most of their lives. While growing up, they have never faced social pressure to eat non-veg foods.<br><br><br><br>
So when they arrive in the USA for the first time, some of them do not have the stamina or the will-power to remain veg in a meat-institutionalized society. So they just shrug and say "When in Rome. . . ."<br><br><br><br>
Granted, most of the veg immigrants do remain veg even after moving to the US, but there are many cases of veg immigrants becoming non-veg due to social pressure and/or lack of willpower, much like VeggieAnn's friend.<br><br><br><br>
But even then, VeggieAnn's friend had far more willpower than the immigrants because she was a veg convert and has never grown up in a veg culture. The Indian immigrants, on the other hand, had the privilege of growing up in a veg environment and society but chose to become non-veg simply because they wanted to blend into the American society or because they lack the education and/or the willpower to remain vegs in the American society.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by *sprout*</i><br><br><b>veggieann - have you talked to her recently or has anything like changed ?</b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
She called last night after I called her and got no anwser. What was she doing while I was calling? Being sick! ^^;<br><br><br><br>
I was nice though. I didn't point out that she probably got sick from eating meat. I just told her I hoped she felt better soon. ^_^
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top