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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I got this as a joke in my inbox. I didn't know, really, where to put it, I just wanted to share it with you guys as it is funny, but also quite true, and sad. I know that I have felt like this many times before. The last line is the kicker.

The Heavy Thinker

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties

now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led

to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew

it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me,

and finally I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and

employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunch time so I could read Thoreau

and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused,

asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?".

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had

turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.

She spent that night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss

called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to

say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you

don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another

job." This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.

"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a


"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as

much as college professors, and college professors don't make

any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began

to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled

as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with

a PBS station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and

ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The library

was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for

me that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass,

whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is

heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably

recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's

Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I

never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a

non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we

share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last


I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life

just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
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