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I'll post more on this later because right now I am too emotional to talk much about this, but I had my dog Desi put to sleep this morning. He was a 14-year-old black lab/collie mix, and I had him since I was 9.
 

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Oh no. I remember you talking about ths dog awhile back when you were thinking about movie closer to work (I think?).<br><br><br><br>
I'm so sorry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":(">
 

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I'm so very sorry.
 

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Skylark, I'm so sorry about Desi. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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<span style="color:#008000;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"> Lo siento, Skylark.<br><br><br><br>
And ynaffit, I'm sorry to hear about your bird too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"></span>
 

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Oh Skylark, I'm so sorry to hear about Desi. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("> I know from your past threads talking about him how much you loved him and wanted the best for him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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Thank you, everyone. I'm not sure if I'm up to the task of talking more about him, but I'm going to try.<br><br><br><br>
Desi was a people-dog, through and through. His first home with my family was at the house where I grew up. We never had any trouble teaching him the boundaries of the yard because he simply wouldn't wander. He wanted to be where the people were. In the past few years, he was prone to being gone a long time, but I chalk that up to senility and not his true nature.<br><br><br><br>
Whenever we loaded up the minivan to go on a trip, Desi would jump into the van the first chance he got. He always wanted to go. I guess he knew that taking many loads of stuff out to the van was the signal we were going somewhere longer than daily errands.<br><br><br><br>
Last Saturday, when my family loaded up the van to go for a week at a lake with the extended family, Desi came outside and looked at the van, wagging his tail. (This is what my mother told me. I wasn't there, and I did not go to the lake this year.) He did not try to hop up in the van, presumably because he knew his arthritis was too bad.<br><br><br><br>
My parents' neighbor Jay was housesitting and dogsitting for the week, and Jay had my cell phone number "just in case." I now live and work an hour from my parents' home. The vacation lake is two hours away. Thursday Jay called me to tell me Desi wasn't able to stand up, and I should probably come back and see what I could do. As soon as I got off work--which was 10 p.m. because I had to cover a stupid small-town festival that would piss people off if we didn't cover it--I went to go be with Desi.<br><br><br><br>
I prayed he would still be alive when I got there. He was. Soon my prayers turned to, "Sweet Jesus, please take him quickly because he's in so much pain." Desi couldn't get his back legs under him, his breathing was laboured, and he wet himself several times because he couldn't get up. Then, I could do nothing to clean him up because that he wasn't in any condition to get in the bathtub. If there's one thing I don't want to happen during my own dying process, it's being covered in my own urine. I felt so bad, but I couldn't do anything but sit there with him and stroke his head and back.<br><br><br><br>
Every 15 minutes or so, he would frantically move all four legs, wheezing and yelping. I had tried to get some sleep in the other room, but he wouldn't calm down until I went to him. The only sleep I got was about half an hour at 7 a.m. when a friend came to help.<br><br><br><br>
As soon as the vet opened up at 9 a.m., my friend and I took Desi down there. We had to carry him in a blanket, and I was so scared of hurting him more. The vet said he had massive kidney failure. He completely agreed the most compassionate thing to do was to euthanize him. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to be with Desi during the injection or not until I realized <i>he</i> would probably be much happier with me there.<br><br><br><br>
Dangit, I'm crying again just thinking about it. That would only be the... seventh or eighth time today. I got some new (to me) furniture today, and one of the first things I did was lay down on the loveseat and cry. I'm not crying for Desi, because he's out of pain now and that's what matters. I'm crying for me because I miss him and wish I could have done more to make him comfortable in the final hours. He probably thought everyone except the neighbor had abandoned him this week.<br><br><br><br>
Well, I better go to bed now, as I am still catching up on sleep. Thank you for your support, everyone.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/bigcry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":cry:"> that's so sad. that's great of you to be with him in final hours. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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Sorry to hear this.<br><br>
After this post I go walking in the fields, after about 5-6 km there's a lonely house and mostly there is an old dog in the yard. Lately he doesn't get up when I go to the fence to meet him, as I'm doing for the past years, he's too weak, simply. Each time he isn't around I fear he's dead.<br><br>
Hope, you'll get over it and only remember the good times you had together with Desi.
 
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