[soochi]

Okay, this really confuzzles me to absolutely no end: My 8 month boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago, and now Im trying to get back into the dating realm. I'm 5'2'', on the chunkier side, but I'm still relatively pretty and I think I have a good personality...so I shouldn't be having such a hard time, right?

Wrong....The last 3 guys I've talked all think it won't work out simply because I am a vegetarian and they love their steaks (or as my brother says, he likes his steaks still mooing)...

I've told them that its straight, and its not like I'm going to force my beliefs down their throats...I mean all it would be is..like... me choosing spaghetti over chicken alfredo on a dinner date, etc...but that doesn't matter...

Is a vegetarian girl really that big of a turn off???

 

[Jessica Alana]

I've never had a guy reject me over that. You said you don't force your beliefs down their throats, which is how I look at it. I've never asked a guy to change for me. I have had people, in general, say "I could never do that," and seem to harp on and on about it, even though I never mention it.

I was hanging out with an ex boyfriend a month or so ago, and he just kept going on and on about how he could never be raw (I was 100% at the time.) and over and over I kept saying "I've never asked you to." I was vegetarian when we dated, years ago. He never went on and on about it then, though. I don't know. I don't know if it's out of envy for your willpower, or fear that you will jump on them about it, or if it's just disbelief that someone could do that.

A lot of people say people do/say that because of guilt, but I really don't think that's the case most of the time.

Anyway, I've never had an issue, and it shouldn't be that big of an issue in a relationship anyway. Not if you go into it with him being a meat-eater, and not attempting to change him, anyway.

 

[jeezycreezy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by soochi

Is a vegetarian girl really that big of a turn off???

To a vegan (and vegetarian I would imagine) guy it's quite the opposite, I assure you. I guess the trick is to find a veg*n guy. I wonder if there is, say, a forum somewhere with lots of veg*ns that maybe even had some sort of a personal section on it. Maybe if such a place even exists you could find a nice veggie boy that way?

And I figure a guy who wouldn't want to be with you because you're a vegetarian is probably eaxctly the kind of you you wouldn't want to be with anyway. You smell what I'm cookin'?

Anyway, what do I know. I'm married. It might be game over for me, but if it means not having to date then I'm cool with it. I don't envy you single veg*ns one bit.

 

[meatless]

Any guy who is "turned off" by that isn't worth spending your time on.

 

[Marie]

Sometimes people come up with excuses to not go out with someone instead of just telling the person they're not interested.

 

[Eclipse]

Can be depending on your attitude or the other people's attitude.

 

[the_technogoat]

if the conflict does not come from the boy in question's immaturity, perhaps they feel guilty or intimidated by your vegetarianism. maybe they've bumped into a rather militant-type veggie or vegan before, and believe most (or "all") veggies have a "holier-than-thou" mindset and will criticize them left and right, trying to change their long-standing habits before they are ready. i'm sorry to hear that your last few dates have fled from you because of your decision to be meatless. when i became vegan last march, things really hit the fan with the guy i'd been with for 1 1/2 years at the time (his grandpa hunts, his mom eats beavers, and he chops and bags deer parts after hunts). to make a long story short, he then refused to eat at my house, insulted my mom for cooking vegan meals (and expected her to buy him special fast food dinners with her money), and started doing crude and childish things around me...flinging chicken bones at birds' nests, asking nonsensical questions about birds and cows eating their cooked counterparts, et cetera. if i tried to have a serious conversation about the relationship with him, it would be interrupted by him rubbing the stomach and loudly making 'MMMMMMMMM--MMM!' sounds, prattling on about the chicken at his sister's diner if a kfc commercial came on. he was so rude that no one in my family ever wants to see him again.

i don't think being a veggie girl is necessarily a "turnoff" to an omni guy. i do think that, particularly if the person is college-age or younger, it is hard to find someone tolerant and mature enough to accept the fact that you have different standpoints than he does. a boy who has been omnivorous all his life, and whose family is omnivorous, might shun a vegetarian out of intimidation, or perhaps the family would persuade him to think vegetarianism is frivolous. i think that even though the dating game has been frustrating, it's much better to know right away, rather than several months down the line, that the man in question would be rude to you about being a veggie, and that you deserve someone who respects you more than that.

 

[GhostUser]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie

Sometimes people come up with excuses to not go out with someone instead of just telling the person they're not interested.

This is what I was thinking

 

[astro]

Quote:

Originally Posted by meatless

Any guy who is "turned off" by that isn't worth spending your time on.

there are other guys out there for you who might not be vegetarian but they wont feel the need to make a big deal out of what you eat

 

[Kiz]

I'm voting for what meatless and Marie say. Either they're not interested and are looking for an excuse to break up with you or that are just shallow, immature so-and-so's and you'd be better off looking elsewhere anyway.

 

[GhostUser]

Sorry to hear that you have been having those kind of problems...I never have i have been with the same guy when i was a meat eater and veggie...he is very supportive of all that I do even though he doesnt feel the same way about certain issues that i do....imo it depends on the person and what they wanna invest in a relationship...people would be pretty boring if we were all the same...I agree with what everyone has said if he is turned off by that he is not worth wasting your time on and most guys really dont care what you eat and wont make an issue out of it if you dont...Good Luck finding someone better..I know you will.

 

[Jessica Alana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeezycreezy

Anyway, what do I know. I'm married. It might be game over for me, but if it means not having to date then I'm cool with it. I don't envy you single veg*ns one bit.

Dating isn't worth the hassle. Maybe you shouldn't take my post to heart, either. I haven't dated in years.

 

[Jessica Alana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_technogoat

his mom eats beavers,

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

 

[toadstool]

Perhaps you shouldn't mention your vegetarianism right out of the gate. Just go on three, six, eight or ten dates before you even mention it. (Frankly, I rarely volunteer the info in social settings, preferring to live by example rather than verbally mentioning my beliefs.)

By the time you tell him you're veg, he'll be head over heels in love with you!

Or, at the very least, he'll realize that dining with you isn't an issue, and that you aren't the shove-it-down-your-throat type of person.

 

[troub]

imo, people that are turned off by vegetarianism, are people not worth dating.

 

[froggythefrog]

I can understand why you might want a friend who does not share your values. I have a few of those. But dating somebody usually implies they're a candidate for a lifelong partner. To that end they're doing you a favor. Why would you want a lifelong partner who does not share your values?

 

[Katt Fink]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica Alana

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I was thinking the same thing...

 

[synergy]

My current BF is a meat eater, but he respects my choices, and he says he even admires them. He would never expect me to cook him meat, and he loves cooking vegetarian food for me. He says as long as I don't start making him feel guilty about eating meat, he has no problems with it. I'm even free to tell him about the advantages of being a vegetarian.

My ex on the other hand, made a huge deal out of it and became very immature and unwilling to talk about food at all. He felt I was judging him by the virtue of my choices (guilty conscience perhaps?)

Either way, don't worry about these guys... You will find either a wonderful veg guy, or a open minded respectful omnivore who will take you as you are

 

[Quincy]

this isn't a response directly to the OP, but to someone who replied about veg*n personal sites:

http://www.vegconnect.com/

http://www.veggieconnection.com/

are two sites that I tried...didn't use them much though, because I'm not single anymore. (too bad my gf isn't veg*n...)

 

[DoveInGrey]

My boyf's sister(who btw i don't know very well/have only met a few times), who has been a proper vegetarian for a very long time, has recently gone pescatarian... around the time she started seeing a guy who is a trained chef(or something). Coincidence? I think not!

As for me... I want to get the vegan society's sunflower logo tattooed on me to show my 100% commoitment to my beliefs. And if my veganism puts anyone off...well I'll treat that as a wheat test and consider myself well rid!

If you can't find an omni who is supportive of your decision, or even better, willing to convert(for every one more of us there's one less of them and lots of animals lives saved) then why not try veggie dating services to meet someone like-minded?