ok, my grandfather is in renal failure, but im not really sad about it. he was abusive when we were kids(my parents and sibs moved in with GPs when i was 5-6). it was a somewhat normal thing to watch him get drunk and fall down the stairs when i was a kid. he chased me around the kitchen table becaused i coughed and i threw a chair at him to keep him away from me. he did things to my sisters that he should have gone to prision for. when i lived there i was thinking of ways to kill him. in a sense im relieved that he is in this state, he cant hurt anyone anymore. he hardly moves and will probly die soon. i feel torn shouldnt i feel worse that hes dying? i feel like a horrible person for not being sad about it.