Yeah, this sounds like it has many parallels with my own story, except I started sharply diverging from my friends' lifestyle choices much earlier, in junior high and high school, and by my senior year none of the people I used to be friends with really hung out with me any more, and I haven't seen some of them in ten years. My principles and ambitions matter much more to me than any second rate friendship ever would, anyway. There is strength and purpose in goals.Originally Posted by The Fall
"Changes happen when we go against everything we're used to doing." ~Paulo Coelho
Just wanted to talk about an interesting thing I noticed and read what you all have to say that may give me some things to think about over the next couple months.
So nearly a year ago I finally decided there was no more excuses to not live my life the way I felt was right. I was having trouble lying to myself like I had always done before. So.. I began making the changes. We can go through the list of personal philosophies that helped shape my changes later if anyone is interested. But month by month I began taking large steps in the direction I wanted to head. Some things include: quitting drinking and smoking, taking daily (vegan) supplements, giving up meat/animal products and dairy, recycling, finding and using sustainable/ reusable products, yoga, daily exercise, fair and balanced meal plans, solving problems with more thought and fewer words, reading more, expanding my artistic endeavors. So there's that!
The interest part of the story lies with my best friend. Known each other since kinder garden, birthdays and 11 days apart, (we're 24) been together through thick and thin. He's closer to me than my family. As soon as I started making the first of these changes it was nothing but negativity from him. He was appalled that I would quit drinking and urged me to continue drinking a little. He was disgusted about my workout programs, vitamins and supplements; at first telling me I would fail, then telling me I was being narcissistic. AND he hated me making the change to veg*n. Told me I was being crazy, spouted ridiculous misinformation about how humans aren't meant to live without meat, and went over the age old lie that all veg*ns he's ever seen and been lean and sickly looking. (remember what I said before about needing to use more thought and less words? yeah)
So I pushed on, each change made illiciting some extremely inappropriate reaction out of him. Now he's making his changes. He's getting into shooting guns as often as he can and plans to get his hunting licence as soon as possible. (as always he is completely appalled that I don't want to go hunting with him) He's been working on upping his alcohol tolerance to help him sleep better. (!?) And he stays up till 4 am playing online video games. He says he wants to be healthy and exercise, but any of my suggestions fall on deaf ears. He's been eating a lot more meat lately and sugar.
I see our lives suddenly starting to head two separate directions and though I know this is life, I can't help but feel sad. I know he wants nothing more that for me to "come to my senses" and return to his way of life. And I want nothing more than for him to join me. I'm not done making all the changes I want, not even half way. And this is probably for the best since he will be getting married next September and everything will change anyway. I'm going to keep moving forward and, I guess, for now, leave him where he is. We're getting older, going through changes...
Thanks for reading.