[Lord Hillyer]

Q. Why does vegan cheese taste bad?

A. Because it hasn't been tested on mice.

Q. How many vegans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. I don't know, but where do you get your protein?

Q. If humans aren't supposed to be eaten, then why are they made out of meat?

Q. How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Four. One on whom they can fob off the unavoidable task while the other three anguish over how many animals were killed by the habitat destruction necessary to extract the minerals required to manufacture the bulb.

Jerry Seinfeld wisely observed:

'Isn't it wierd that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did that happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get me a hit of that stuff.'

Now it's your turn

 

[froggythefrog]

Q: What do you call a vegetarian about to hurl?

A: A salad shooter!

 

[Vegan Joe]

Fob off. That's funny, I can say that, I never remember hearing that used before.

How many meat eaters dose it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they would rather stay in the dark about things.

 

[Sevenseas]

You may know the "vegetarian: Indian word for 'poor hunter'" joke, but someone here had their own take on it, which was something like "omnivore: Indian word for 'there's something rotting in your colon'".

 

[lisaanne]

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

This is a funny cartoon:

http://www.vegetus.org/vegtoon/hunt.htm

 

[~Wonder]

A guy has celery sticking out of one ear, lettuce out of the other, and a zucchini up his nose. He goes to the doctor and asks him what's wrong.

The doctor tells him, "Well, for one thing, you're not eating right."

 

[froggythefrog]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisaanne

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

This is a funny cartoon:

http://www.vegetus.org/vegtoon/hunt.htm

I must say I absolutely love that one.

 

[jeezycreezy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisaanne

This is a funny cartoon:

I used to have that one in my office for years before I moved my office and lost it. Calvin and Hobbes roolz!

I also had the one attached, and a couple other Farsides with cows discovering things in freezers and the like.

 

[lisaanne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeezycreezy

I used to have that one in my office for years before I moved my office and lost it. Calvin and Hobbes roolz!

I also had the one attached, and a couple other Farsides with cows discovering things in freezers and the like.

I love the Farside! The ones with cows are always great. This one is sooo funny!

 

[Melanie]

I found this quite a while back. I thought it was funny.

Edit..Oops it's too small.

I'll just link to my photobucket account.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...ieroy/tofu.jpg

 

[jeezycreezy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cassiopeia

I thought it was funny.

Yup! Had that one too.

 

[lisaanne]

Here is one more!

[attachment=4952:larson vegetarians.jpg]

 

[Joe]

You could have a line of jokes that go:

[Insert person's name] is so vegan that ...

Example:

IamJen is so vegan that she won't let her SO call her "honey."

 

[Skylark]

Oh gosh, I could come up with a lot of "so vegan" jokes that would tick off several VBers.

Here's a nicer one:

meatless is so vegan she won't even talk about milking someone for compliments or egging people on.

 

[jeezycreezy]

troub is so vegan, when he gets his picture taken he says "zomg lyk cheez is n animal product!!!111111one"

 

[troub]

its funny cause its true >.>

 

[Joe]

I am not sure whether this is a joke exactly, but there is a famous line about vegetarian playwright George Bernard Shaw and a pork chop.

Quote:

Pork chops have long been thought to be the most nourishing of foods. Such was their reputation that the actress Mrs. Patrick Campbell, engaged in a furious row with the die-hard vegetarian George Bernard Shaw during a rehearsal of one of his plays, finally ended the conversation by saying,''Shaw, some day you'll eat a pork chop and then God help all women.''

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpag...51C0A964948260

 

[jojob1969]

Quote:

''Shaw, some day you'll eat a pork chop and then God help all women.''

Someone should tell her that pork comes from pigs not women!