[Tesseract]

In HS/college my friends and I used to keep a running list of funny, silly, or jarring statements (or perhaps misstatements) people made, just for entertainment value.<br><br><br><br>
A couple of my most memorable winners:<br><br><br><br>
Physics professor: "So imagine I have two giant gold balls and they're not very attractive..."<br><br><br><br>
Philosophy professor: "Our lives are full of elephants..." (He meant to say elements)<br><br><br><br>
And stellar just made the list and inspired me to create this thread when she posted the following:<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>stellar26</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
...cyclical cycles...</div>
</div>
<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:"> As opposed to all those cycles that are not cyclical? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=""> Sorry, I just couldn't resist. That cracked me up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=""><br><br><br><br>
Have you heard/seen anyone say anything lately that's funny, silly, redundant, a double-entendre, or just plain odd?

 

[gogoshire]

I had an art history prof in my college in Italy that said hysterical stuff like that, Tesseract.<br><br><br><br>
I just pulled out my old journal, and found this from the spring 1990 semester -<br><br><br><br>
Talking about the name for the Roman basilica, St. Mary Major, he said: "...not to be confused with a general in the army."<br><br><br><br>
Inside the church, he continues:<br><br><br><br>
"The lines show movement. Of course, a church doesn't really move. It's a solid structure. It can't move."<br><br><br><br>
He was a brilliant man and I learned tons, but he said funny stuff like this all the time, and he was completely serious when he said it.

 

[Amy SF]

I had a colleague who told me she could never wear watches because her body's magnetic force field always ruined them.<br><br><br><br>
She was serious.

 

[WonderRandy]

<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Amy SF</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I had a colleague who told me she could never wear watches because her body's magnetic force field always ruined them.<br><br><br><br>
She was serious.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br><br><br>
I've actually heard of that...

 

[MaryC1999]

I don't always remember funny things that people say to me, even if they give me a good laugh, but I remember when I was dating my husband and we were talking about something that didn't make a lot of sense I said "That's as messed up as a soup sandwich" and he laughed for about an hour. Swore he never heard of it before. I also made have a nickname for country music that cracks him up but I won't write it here as it contains an, um, colorful adjective. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=""><br><br>
As far as double entendres go, has anyone heard Paris Hilton's new "song"? it's one long double entendre. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=""><br><br>
Mary

 

[misq17]

I do a similar thing during my Chinese class. My teacher is hilarious (although most of it is because of language/cultural barriers).<br><br><br><br>
When refering to the rowdy and loud guys in my class, "Excuse me, are you drunk?" and my favorite, "You talk more than an old lady!"<br><br><br><br>
She also gave us a whole lecture on how it isn't politically correct to use gay to mean stupid. Her theory is as follows, "If a student tells me my assignment is gay I assume they mean happy. If they are so happy to do the work I will assign more!"<br><br><br><br>
A lot of the time she just messes up English expressions which leads to general amusement.

 

[Dirty Martini]

<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>MaryC1999</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I said "That's as messed up as a soup sandwich" and he laughed for about an hour. Swore he never heard of it before.<br><br>
Mary</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I've never heard that before either - how cute! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="">

 

[raw jess]

My mom and I were having a conversation once, I don't remember what about.<br><br>
I said: "Well, you know what they say about assuming."<br><br>
She said: "It makes an ass out of me & you?"<br><br>
I said: "Um..no. That's ass menu."<br><br><br><br>
I have a lot of slightly to severely amusing conversations. Usually on a daily basis. If not my own (which most are,) then ones I interpret.

 

[Gnarly]

My physics teacher once said, to the class... "Well, I'm not very good at handling my elongated rod shape." He was talking about a metal rod we were using in an experiment, but that quote is still spoken today.<br><br><br><br>
Or my chem teacher used to say, "Go hard, or go home!" After he got tired of everyone saying, "Well, lets go home then," he changed it to "Go hard!" While amusing, it reached its peak when he cried once, "Get your go-hard juices flowing!"<br><br><br><br>
That is also a quote I still use.

 

[synergy]

A work collegue of mine always mis-hears things that people say, and she always comes up with the funniest things, and she swears that it's what she is really hearing.<br><br><br><br>
A while ago I counted her float and said " Here's a dime back". She looks offended and says " Did you just call me a dumb duck?"<br><br><br><br>
Earlier today an ancient man came into out theatre with his wife and he deffered to her to make a decision on tickets. He said " She owns me".<br><br>
My colleague thought he said (and remember, he's like 95), "She bones me."

 

[Tesseract]

<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>chiaraluna</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
The browner and more unusual-looking my cereal is, the better! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=""></div>
</div>
<br>
!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:">

 

[chiaraluna]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="">

 

[mazikeen]

My closest friend has a similar habit to Synergy's workmate to misquote stuff he's misheard. A few weeks ago, I mentioned to him the expression "bless my cotton socks". He gasped, and repeated: "Bless my **** and suck?"

 

[Tesseract]

He's got a dirty mind, too, doesn't he!? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/naughty.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":naughty:">

 

[Amy SF]

Those misheard comments are called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen" target="_blank">mondegreens.</a> I love mondegreens. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="">

 

[the_technogoat]

i had morning and afternoon intercom announcements in middle school. one day, the principal tried to page my math instructor, mr. schmidt, but screwed up his name. "mr. ****....schmidt...please come to the office" was announced in every classroom. i found it amusing, as immature as it is to giggle at the principal saying obscenities <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="">.