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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I recently became vegan. My family is treating me like I am insane. I came out as a lesbian 6 years ago and I didn't get any ridicule for that. It's amazing. My brothers have been looking for "loop holes" about why I sill actually eat living things....

"Are you eating plants that have been fertilized with animal?"

"What about yeast, isnt that alive"

"Doesnt the vegetable hurt".........

And yes, they went as far to say "I thought about how you said that you don't want to eat meat, I had a long talk with my wife, and we decided to eat double the meat that you ate"

They disguise their cruel remarks as humor, which is really passive aggressive. If I call them on it, I am too sensitive. If I don't, then I am a doormat.

Anyhow, I figure if I am this frustrated, that other people are too. I wonder if you could share you stories with me.

Thanks. Lisa
 

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My family doesn't make jokes about meat, they just treat me like I'm insane.

A few examples:

"Why can't I have a normal granddaughter?"

"Yea, but it's not your kind of food." (I have "special" food. As though spaghetti or Cheerios were something alien.)

And then there is the loving concern:

"Well, I guess you'll just have to fill up on salad or something."

My family (and friends) seems to feel that being vegan means I live off of iceberg lettuce. Gr!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
charity, sounds very frustrating to be treated like that. I find i am also picked on because of "my" food.

Thalia,

I am 26. I haven't lived at home since i was 17. Which, definitely makes the "jokes" or as i call it, bantering, easier. I always know that I could go home cook my own food. I see so many teenagers on these boards living in homes that aren't accepting. i wonder how they do it. I can only imagine that the resolve of a person who is introspective enough to come to the decision to be vegan or vegetarian is strong (at least i try and remind myself that it is).

I have said to my brothers not to pick on me, that it makes me feel bad. The usual response is that they pick on me because they love me. Wow, is that backwards!

I will keep trying to ask them to respect me. Phase two is to see if I can act like it doesnt bother me.

Thanks for responding,

lisa
 

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Every now and then, my dad will turn to me and ask "So did you just wake up one morning and decide to be crazy?"

I get grilled over everything I eat, too. It's like they're trying to be the vegan police, while they're sitting there munching on their omnivorous food. It's weird. I guess they think if they can catch me making a mistake and eating something non-vegan, that will magically make me normal again or something.


I don't live with my parents, but I see them pretty frequently, so I encounter this about once every other week or so. I know how you feel.

Just keep your chin up, and show them how healthy and happy you are and can be, with your healthy lifestyle. Try to tease them back, if you can, and show them that even though you eat differently, you still have fun and enjoy food. I think if you turn it back on them in a positive way, you won't be coming across as either "too sensitive" or a "doormat".

Have you read "Living Among Meat Eaters" by Carol Adams? I found it to be very helpful in learning to deal with the comments I get from family, friends, and coworkers.

Good luck! You know you can always come here to vent and get support. ^___^
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I still live at home (mainly with my dad, but I'm around my mom and older brother a lot as well), and my family definatly isn't okay with my choice. My mom and dad were reasonably accepting of the vegetarianism, but my brother was horrible about it. And now, I told them I've decided to try to be vegan, and they all flipped out. It's pretty frusterating.
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by jesslisa99

I have said to my brothers not to pick on me, that it makes me feel bad. The usual response is that they pick on me because they love me. Wow, is that backwards!

I will keep trying to ask them to respect me. Phase two is to see if I can act like it doesnt bother me.

Thanks for responding,

lisa
Don't act like it doesn't bother you if it does. You have a right not to be bothered and that they respect that.

It seems as if they are not taking your responses seriously. Maybe a couple instances of just setting down your plate and leaving the room, house, etc. will make them realize.

Or perhaps you could start incessently start teasing them about something you know would bother them, and then call a truce.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Ceryna,

I wrote down the name of that book, I am sure it will help. Its funny, but I have bought more books since I became vegan. I feel like I should be armed against the remarks. Well, not only that, but I love reading about anything that I am passionate about. anyother book sugestions that you all have i would love it.

I am new to being a vegan. Very new. I went from omnivore, a few weeks ago, to vegan. I am told it is a phase, but I can't imagine eating meat or dairy or eggs anymore after what I have learned about it. Becoming a vegetarian was as easy as realizing what I already KNEW happened to animals. becoming a vegan was a matter of learning what i could never imagine happened to them.

Thalia,

Youre right! I do have a right to show that I am bothered. I wanted so badly to leave my brothers house last night. But instead I sat for 3 hours as he ranted at me about my liberal views. In the end I said, Id rather not talk about politics with you anymore because I feel like I end up being wrong in the end. Pretty normal request, right? He walked away from me with out saying goodbye. Funny, usually I would be calling to say I am sorry (not sure why). But I cant bring myself to call this time. I had every right to ask us not to talk about politics anymore.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
you're right. i am very lucky to have a family. I do try and keep it in percpective. I work with children who are in foster care. I am aware that people don't have families. But even those children will say, but at least i have ______ it could be worse. So yes, the grass can always be browner, so to speak. That might help us keep things in perspective. However, each of us have a right to complain at times, and to rejoice as well. Keeping it in perspective is important.

I see the optimism that the children i work with have and I see the beauty in that. however, when they are down, pointing out that the grass can either be browner or greener, only takes from thier plight. Please don't think that I am saying that ridicule is worse than not having a family. my point, is mearly, that all things are relative.

I believe that we all are keenly aware of the people who have it better" or "worse", but that is not to say that all of our experiences are not somehow important because someone else had it worse or better. we can all learn from eachothers stories best when not comparing the magnitude of the story but simply understanding the experiences for what they are.
 

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I got alot of teasing and bugging when I first stopped eating meat too. Over the years it just kind of tappered off. Nobdoy ever makes comments anymore.

I know this doesn't help your current situation, but just know that it can get better. Hopefully they will get used to the idea of you not eating meat sooner than later.....

 
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