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Hello everybody! I'm a previous member who has no other veggie friends in real life so I wanted to return to vent because I'm seriously frustrated. I hope you will listen. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
I'm a vegetarian who avoids dairy. I try my best to raise my kids with my morals. I come from a heavy meat-eating family who seems supportive but you can tell they really just think I'm brainwashed and weird.<br><br>
The other day my 7 year old tells me that her grandparents have been trying to get her to eat meat. She even quoted me a very nice little rhyme, "God gave us the animals to eat, not to keep." I immediately told her that next time that is brought up to ask her grandparents why they don't eat their dog and cat? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> Then she began to tell me other comments that have been being made over time.<br><br>
I was furious. My daughter is now extremely confused. I had a very long talk with my father and he apologized but I'm still aggravated and hurt. Our lifestyles could not be more different when it comes to diet and health.<br><br>
My kids eat my diet at home and at school, (I pack their lunches), but I give them the freedom to choose what they want when they are with their grandparents. My daughter was apparently making vegetarian choices so they decided to try to dissuade her.<br><br>
And the kicker is that this isn't just all about the fact that we don't eat meat. It's because I'm one of those "real food" people who attempt to eat organic, less processed, and non-GMO foods. My family thinks I have gone off the deep end and I just don't see why they just can't support me. They think I'm "depriving" my children. I still make them brownies and cookies, and we have almond ice-cream. It's not like they don't ever have treats. But since when is having lots of sugar synonymous with a good childhood? I thought love, health, good experiences, and lots of fun were the hallmarks of a good childhood?<br><br>
Anyhow, sorry for the long rant. It's just that NOBODY in my "real" life has any sympathy for me or can even begin to understand.
 

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Wow. Your parents have really crossed the line. Apparently your daughter is happy with her diet if she chooses veg*n options even though she knows she has your permission to eat meat. They're not concerned about your children being deprived. They're concerned about themselves being deprived. They probably just want your children to eat like them so they can feel better about their own choices. If the children truly felt deprived they wouldn't make veg*n choices when they know they don't have to. I'd put an end to unsupervised visits if they keep that up. They're purposely teaching your children the exact opposite of what you're teaching them.
 

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I agree that sugar base diet is not pleasant. I had loads of sugar in my youth and I am really experiencing pain of losing teeth and being in pain, the pain starts at night time. I think its great your avoiding GMO and processed foods and foods with HFCS.<br>
You need to explain to your parents and others that you do give your children treats but they are non GMO they are healthy, they are non dairy alternatives and they are less sugar. You need to to tell them that loads of sugary things will cause decaying of teeth and hurting mouths in your children. As I type this even tho I took a pain pill I am in intense pain because I have a third tooth going out and I just had oral sugury three weeks ago with other problems. IN about ten years time or so I might have dentures because of the junk that was in foods before I noticed what was going on.<br>
Also you can tell your parents that yes God gave us animals many many years ago to have to eat for survival now since the meat is from animals that are being abused and neglected and hurt and mangled and tortured you don't want any part of it. Factory farming was never around when God Gave us meat to eat.
 

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I'm sorry to hear that. I had a similar situation with my grandmother when my children were young. We were omnis at the time, but she kept telling me that I was mean because I served my children vegetables without adding butter and salt. I explained that they liked plain vegetables and pointed out that obesity and diabetes ran in our family. She still called me mean, but at least she didn't do it in front of the kids.
 

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<span style="color:#FF00FF;">Hi Nera, have you tried to meet veg*n people in a non virtual context?<br>
I feel it would really help as vegephobia is really difficult but even more so when you are totally isolated.<br>
I know I would post all over the place and search all avenues to meet veg*an people if I didn't know any...<br>
What city do you live in?<br>
Best wishes</span>
 

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Before reading a book about eating plant based, I knew absolutely nothing about vegetarianism. I used to come across people who did not eat meat and I never judged them at all. my only thought was that they were depriving themselves of good food. I dont get how people are so hardcore about meat. I have always loved a good burger etc, but never worshipped eating it. I watch man vs food and am disgusted how people compete to eat a 6 pound burrito or sandwich. Eating plant based foods has opened up so many more options for me and it is so healthy. I can actually cook a faster meal now than before and am eating pretty healthy. Sorry to hear about your parents. Maybe you can find a way to explain to your kids the difference of opinions and ask your parents to p,ease respect them.
 

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That's crazy. I would tell them they will lose the privilege of seeing their granddaughter if they do not respect your family's decisions and your choice to raise your daughter with good morals and ethics, as well as teaching your children to eat healthier foods. They have control issues if they can not respect that, and though it may seem over dramatic to threaten them with this, I think it's the best way to show them how upset and hurt you are and how serious you are about your family's choices.<br><br>
And I don't believe sugar is what makes a childhood special, it's the memories that do. The memories of you and your family eating sweets together and the memories of eating a healthy family meal together are the same as long as your all together and enjoying each other's company. Your daughter is so lucky to have someone making such wonderful ethical choices, and food is a great way of connecting people and making memories. My omni family refuse to eat any veggie dishes I make, and it makes me sad, so it's great to see that in your family you can all eat ethically together.<br><br>
I know how you feel about feeling left out. I, too, am part of a big meat eating family. I have one vegetarian family member, however I don't see her often, so most of the time I'm alone, and with no veggie friends and with friends that don't always respect my choice to be vegan, I completely understand how hard it is. I think you'll find that you'll really enjoy VeggieBoards. It's really helped me stay vegan to have a place to rant a little sometimes and have so much support and help from everyone here, and I've realized that just because I don't have veggie friends in real life, it doesn't matter because I have so many here that are just as important and wonderful as any friend I've met in person could be. I'm 15, so I get a lot of pressure from my parents, classmates, friends, family and extended family that my decision to be vegan is insane and sometimes it's pressuring enough that I actually believe them, so it's really nice to come here and get away from it all and find the passion for my decision again, that I believe VeggieBoards has actually kept me vegan, and it's made me stronger in the real world dealing with meat-eaters. I'm certain I would've broken if I hadn't of found this place when I became vegan.
 

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Wow! It's nothing like that for me at all. Granted, we're not switching for ethical reasons. But so far people have been supportive only not knowledgable. I grew up with my parents were into tennis and triathlons and watched what they ate. Usually school dinners had meat so we skipped it for dinner. My Dad still has a thing for veggie burgers and most 20 year olds I know couldn't keep up with them.<br><br>
I'm just getting used to not relying on meat for our iron and protein. Breakfast, lunch and snacks aren't an issue. But it's a tricky habit to break for evening meals. I'm not a fan of beans and I have two people allergic to nuts that I'm making meals for. I'd go to fish, but my husband's allergic to it. Anyway..<br><br>
Maybe they feel guilty about what they eat and think they'll be absolved if their grandkids agree with them? My in-laws don't like watching my boys reject icecream for berries. I don't see why, berries are awesome!
 

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This is so sad! I guess it is a problem the vegetarians who come from meat eating families and have kids have...<br><br>
The sugar thing is very common, lol. People believe that once they are grandparents they should spoil the grandchildren and give them lotys of candy behind mother's back
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>FlorencePurple</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2980691"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><span style="color:#FF00FF;">Hi Nera, have you tried to meet veg*n people in a non virtual context?<br>
I feel it would really help as vegephobia is really difficult but even more so when you are totally isolated.<br>
I know I would post all over the place and search all avenues to meet veg*an people if I didn't know any...<br>
What city do you live in?<br>
Best wishes</span></div>
</div>
<br>
I'm in a small Texas town and we don't really have veggie groups or anything like that around. I'm wanting to go to Earth Day in a neighboring town next year though. Maybe I can meet some peeps like that! :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>peacefulveglady</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2980507"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I agree that sugar base diet is not pleasant. I had loads of sugar in my youth and I am really experiencing pain of losing teeth and being in pain, the pain starts at night time. I think its great your avoiding GMO and processed foods and foods with HFCS.<br>
You need to explain to your parents and others that you do give your children treats but they are non GMO they are healthy, they are non dairy alternatives and they are less sugar. You need to to tell them that loads of sugary things will cause decaying of teeth and hurting mouths in your children. As I type this even tho I took a pain pill I am in intense pain because I have a third tooth going out and I just had oral sugury three weeks ago with other problems. IN about ten years time or so I might have dentures because of the junk that was in foods before I noticed what was going on.<br>
Also you can tell your parents that yes God gave us animals many many years ago to have to eat for survival now since the meat is from animals that are being abused and neglected and hurt and mangled and tortured you don't want any part of it. Factory farming was never around when God Gave us meat to eat.</div>
</div>
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Thank you so much for the support! I especially love your last quote. As far as your dental problems have you ever looked into tooth powder and minerals for tooth decay? If you haven't may I suggest that you start digging through the WWW? I actually use Uncle Harry's tooth powder and love it.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Nera</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2981160"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Thank you so much for the support! I especially love your last quote. As far as your dental problems have you ever looked into tooth powder and minerals for tooth decay? If you haven't may I suggest that you start digging through the WWW? I actually use Uncle Harry's tooth powder and love it.</div>
</div>
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Your welcome and I am checking into natural things to help preserve the rest of my teeth have. I have a few brands in mind but i think I need to look things up.
 

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I'm really sorry to hear about this Nera, I don't have kids yet but I know I would be very upset if I were in the same situation. People seem to think that by raising your children as vegetarians you are depriving them of good food and forcing your beliefs on them, and not giving them a choice in the matter. It seems to me that by raising your kids as veggies you <i>are</i> giving them a choice though; it's when we raise them eating animal products that we aren't giving them a choice, because we are setting their taste for meat/dairy when they are far too young to understand exactly what it is they are eating. To me that is not giving them a choice. I know when I found out what meat actually was as a child I was horrified and I felt betrayed by my parents. For a brief time I looked at them differently, like they had tricked me into killing my friends (we had cows living next door and I used to feed and pet them daily). It was pretty traumatic.<br><br>
It's great that you allow your kids to decide what to eat when they are eating at another persons house where meat is on the menu; that's something that many vegetarian parents wouldn't do. So it's really sad that when your daughter decides on her own that she doesn't want meat, your parents try to pressure her into eating it. And I completely agree with you that childhood is not about eating tons of junk food; there is no need for that and your kids will be much better off with the healthy diet you give them.<br><br>
I hope everything works out for you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Nera</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2981160"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Thank you so much for the support! I especially love your last quote. As far as your dental problems have you ever looked into tooth powder and minerals for tooth decay? If you haven't may I suggest that you start digging through the WWW? I actually use Uncle Harry's tooth powder and love it.</div>
</div>
<br><br>
What's tooth powder? I never heard of it.
 

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<span style="color:#FF00FF;">There may be other people in your small town in texas, but they're probably in the closet...<br><br>
Oh, and about children, I like this:<br>
"give a child an apple and a rabbit, she/he will eat the apple and play with the rabbit"...<br><br>
You all take care,<br>
Florence</span>
 

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<span style="color:#FF00FF;">stumbled upon this:<br>
'talking to your parents"<br><a href="http://www.youngveggie.org/being_veggie/talking.html" target="_blank">http://www.youngveggie.org/being_veggie/talking.html</a><br><br>
maybe it's useful to someone</span>
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Nera</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2980462"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Hello everybody! I'm a previous member who has no other veggie friends in real life so I wanted to return to vent because I'm seriously frustrated. I hope you will listen. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
I'm a vegetarian who avoids dairy. I try my best to raise my kids with my morals. I come from a heavy meat-eating family who seems supportive but you can tell they really just think I'm brainwashed and weird.<br><br><b>The other day my 7 year old tells me that her grandparents have been trying to get her to eat meat. She even quoted me a very nice little rhyme, "God gave us the animals to eat, not to keep."</b> I immediately told her that next time that is brought up to ask her grandparents why they don't eat their dog and cat? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> Then she began to tell me other comments that have been being made over time.<br><br>
I was furious. My daughter is now extremely confused. I had a very long talk with my father and he apologized but I'm still aggravated and hurt. Our lifestyles could not be more different when it comes to diet and health.<br><br>
My kids eat my diet at home and at school, (I pack their lunches), but I give them the freedom to choose what they want when they are with their grandparents. My daughter was apparently making vegetarian choices <b>so they decided to try to dissuade her.</b><br><br>
And the kicker is that this <b>isn't just all about the fact that we don't eat meat. It's because I'm one of those "real food" people who attempt to eat organic, less processed, and non-GMO foods. My family thinks I have gone off the deep end and I just don't see why they just can't support me. They think I'm "depriving" my children.</b> I still make them brownies and cookies, and we have almond ice-cream. It's not like they don't ever have treats. But since when is having lots of sugar synonymous with a good childhood? I thought love, health, good experiences, and lots of fun were the hallmarks of a good childhood?<br><br>
Anyhow, sorry for the long rant. It's just that NOBODY in my "real" life has any sympathy for me or can even begin to understand.</div>
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I highlighted some of the rant, and I think you need to have a long <i>respectful</i> talk with your parents about your beliefs and diet. Tell them if they cannot respect your beliefs and diet, they do <i><b>NOT</b></i> get any more time with the grandkids. It may seem harsh, but if the alternative is your parents telling your children, "It's all right to eat meat, your mother isn't here." Sort of thing, then perhaps not spending time with the greandkids will make them realize what they're doing is hurting themselves.
 

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What infuriates me, is that people are so brainwashed into thinking that meat and dairy are so essential, that they would offend their own kids like this. You can't really blame them, they have just understandably accepted the nonsense that's been forced on them from a young age. It's just another form of indoctrination.<br><br>
For that reason I would attack this from the angle of education. Give your parents a couple of books and leaflets to read that describe the benefits of a plant-based diet, and the risks and dangers of high intake of meat and dairy. Perhaps make them watch Earthlings <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> If they are so stuck in their ways that they won't even try to read them to try to understand your point of view, only then would I think about telling them you would be restricting their access to your kids. Suggest to them that in order to pass judgement on your position, they need to understand it fully. Perhaps then they will see you are just trying to keep your kids healthy, and not contribute to the cruelty in the world.<br><br>
On a side note, and at the risk of offending your belief system, I hate it when omnis invoke god. My mum isn't religious at all but she still uses the "animals were put here for us to eat" bull. I would tell your parents that god also commanded genocide, ordered a man to kill his own son, and rewarded a man for giving his daughters up to be raped, and they aren't moral values you want to instil in your kids either. A loving god would admire your respect for animal welfare and your anti-cruelty stance.<br><br>
Good luck Nera, it's a difficult situation to be in. Hope it all works out.
 

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'Lo Nera and sorry to hear about your frustrations.<br><br>
Not wanting to sound like a record with a stuck needle (I post this about everytime the issue of vegetarian kids comes up) but my three children were all raised vegetarian from birth.<br><br>
I have religious parents also. They did the 'God made animals to eat' thing on my kiddies too.<br><br>
If it's any help the way I 'fixed' that one was this; With the kiddies there I would take them to task over what having created food that suffers tells us about the nature of their God and over what 'offence' we could possibly cause God by choosing to eat only the infinitely more abundant foods he kindly created for us that doesn't suffer in any case.<br><br>
Thing that worked best about that tactic was that you can only make the God who's authority you are calling upon look like a total 4rse if you try to argue that he approves of people doing the less, rather than the more, compassionate thing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Apocalyptica</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2981179"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I'm really sorry to hear about this Nera, I don't have kids yet but I know I would be very upset if I were in the same situation. People seem to think that by raising your children as vegetarians you are depriving them of good food and forcing your beliefs on them, and not giving them a choice in the matter. It seems to me that by raising your kids as veggies you <i>are</i> giving them a choice though; it's when we raise them eating animal products that we aren't giving them a choice, because we are setting their taste for meat/dairy when they are far too young to understand exactly what it is they are eating. To me that is not giving them a choice. I know when I found out what meat actually was as a child I was horrified and I felt betrayed by my parents. For a brief time I looked at them differently, like they had tricked me into killing my friends (we had cows living next door and I used to feed and pet them daily). It was pretty traumatic.<br><br>
It's great that you allow your kids to decide what to eat when they are eating at another persons house where meat is on the menu; that's something that many vegetarian parents wouldn't do. So it's really sad that when your daughter decides on her own that she doesn't want meat, your parents try to pressure her into eating it. And I completely agree with you that childhood is not about eating tons of junk food; there is no need for that and your kids will be much better off with the healthy diet you give them.<br><br>
I hope everything works out for you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"></div>
</div>
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Thank you for the support! Yes, I also think it's important to try to give my 7 year old choices because I don't want her to feel deprived. She's very smart for her age and I want her to understand and believe in what she is doing. I don't want her to do it begrudgingly in an attempt to mind me. I ask her to take note of what her friends eat and their sleeping habits, (some of her friends tell her they stay up until midnight). I then ask her to observe their behavior, appearance, and learning habits. She is beginning to notice that her friends who eat healthier and get more sleep are calmer, more friendly, and focus better in school, while her friends who eat junk and stay up late on school nights don't listen well, miss more school due to illness, are more hyperactive, and in her words, "just really cranky kids Mom." :)
 
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