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Hi everyone.I'm hoping someone can give me some advice.Over the past year I've put on 20 lbs and the more I try to lose it,the more I gain.I wake up and think the day will be good but as soon as i eat something"bad"my day is ruined and I binge.I am becoming very depressed but I am also scared to stop trying to lose weight because I think I will be huge if I don't try to keep track of what I eat.The real problem is that I've been trying to be vegan for a while now but I can never stick with it because I always end up binging on something non-vegan.It is very frustrating because it is important to me to be vegan and I feel like it should be easy scince I want to do it so much.My life revolves around eating food and thinking about food and it is driving me crazy.Does anyone have any advice on how to stop my food obsessions so I can concentrate on my health and being vegan?Thank you!
 

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My advice is to give up trying to lose weight, unless you are actually extremely obese. it's obviously not making you happy, and you shouldn't believe that you must lose eight to be happy.

Enjoy your food, and don't worry about the weight. It means very little.
 

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I agree completely Loki. I was obese for seven years and didn't lose anything until I stopped making food the most important thing in my life. I did that by making a vow not to diet or 'try and loose weight anymore (even when I lost it, it would ALWAYS find me again). I became vegetarian after that, and concentrated my food efforts (and whatever obsessions I still had), on preparing and eating healthy meals.

I don't buy junk. Well, okay, I sometimes buy vegan chocolate. I don't keep chips, candy or cookies in the house though. Nor soda or any soft drinks. When people come to visit they are offered water or soy milk
. When my daughter and I go on a picnic...like a real, hike and swimming picnic, I will buy us treats like chips. Every few weeks we make a trip to Ben and Jerry's and I get sorbet. Those are my food treats.

My daughter asked me the other day why I never put junk in her lunch. I said, "You aren't junk Madison, so I don't feed you junk." I say that to myself as well. You have to stop believing that you deserve to eat all that junk....which leads us to believe that we ARE junk.

Instead take the initiative with yourself and use food as nourishment for body and soul. Make good foods for yourself and sit down to a nice meal. Don't eat on the run. Plan ahead.

You're right and you know it. Food shouldn't BE your life, it should fill you up to LIVE your life. Ask yourself what you're looking for from the food you eat? Comfort, reassurance? Safety, security? Love? Ask yourself what you are trying to avoid in your life, that you're filling up all your time and thoughts with FOOD.

I have to say, I lost a LOT of weight not counting calories, not starving myself, not 'dieting'. I lost a lot of weight treating myself well, eating good foods, exercising and having a life that didn't revolve around food. You are going to have to develop a whole lifestyle OUTSIDE of food, if you really want to give up your obsession. You're going to have to not have time to think about food for a while.

And you should probably see a therapist if you feel your situation is serious enough.

It's not hard to be vegan. There's a vegan alternative to practically everything (well, in some places anyway, not in all), so there's no real reason for veganism to be hard. On the other hand, sometimes life is hard. If you feel something is a sacrifice, it's going to be hard. If you change that around and look at it as an adventure into the unknown....it's going to be a whole lot easier, but it will still take some work.

"A good life and an easy life are not the same thing." (unknown origin)
 

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Bethanie, I just have to say that your response was awesome, and completely right on.

On a practical note, the point that you made about not keeping junk food in the house is a strong one. If you have to go out somewhere to get a treat you will either opt to not do it and you'll appreciate it more because you had to scout it out.

My husband always notes that he has a much easier time keeping weight off if treats are not kept in the house. I've been trying really hard to limit what we stock in the cupboard, sometimes going so far as to eat only the treats I make myself. It seems to work because I'm shockingly lazy
 

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The one time I lost 30 pounds it came off because I had stopped worrying about my weight. I remember there is a Cathy cartoon somewhere where she says something similar.

Unfortunately, I gained all my weight back and haven't lost it being a vegetarian since I eat way too much bread and pasta and don't exercise.

I did figure out when I lost weight it was probably because I stopped eating out and did a little more walking and dancing.

Try not to obsess about eating and weight loss - it doesn't help and when you figure out how not to obsess tell me.
 

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Thanks Quizeen!

Hey, are there other anonymous groups? I am always interested in helping people who claim not to have finanical resources, find FREE help (takes away one excuse at least). I was wondering if there is an anonymous group for anorexics perhaps? Is there a listing somewhere?
 

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I have totally been where you are. Ask bethanie!
I'm not 100% better, but food used to CONTROL my life. I'm done with that.

My change came after really getting fed up and just being completely tired of obsessing over everything I eat, all the guilt. Focus on eating healthily, exercising, and meeting all your nutrition requirements. Think about the habits that made you gain twenty pounds and see what you can change in order to eat more healthfully. Then make changes and move on with life....I am assuming you are not obese, so stop torturing yourself over the numbers on the scale. Just love yourself and treat your body right, and everything else will fall into place. Get busy, pick up habits that you really enjoy and care about, and force yourself to NOT think about food.

lovenlight,

linz
 

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food still stresses me out. But it wasn't until last wednesday (the weigh in of 135!!!) And I just ate a whole freking package of starburst jellybeasn (600 cals!!!!!!) THAT IS A MEAL'S WORTH!!! AHHH!!! I have no self control anymore. I can't starve and I eat too many bad bad things. I just will never get them again. Why couldn't I just have *some* of them? (thanks for letting me rant about myself)
 

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Keegan. To me your main problem isn't the starving or the getting obese, it's the obsession with food. And the inability to moderate. This is what you're going to need help with in the long run. The starving yourself is EXTREMELY serious, but it's a symptom of the bigger problem. That you can't simply let food be what it is, that you are attaching so much importance to it...and because of that, you have to either starve yourself as you have done, with the only alternative (in your mind) being to be fat, as you also have done.

This is a crazy way of living. Food isn't going to supply or meet your emotional needs. It isn't going to help you feel more loved or accepted. Your obsession with it as you yourself said, is 'emotionally exhausting.'

This is why I keep encouraging you to get help with this problem. To join a group (and there ARE free ones available), but also to get outside of yourself...fill up your time and your head with other things. You and food are in a co-dependent relationship.


The bottom line is if you think food will be your downfall...our prophesies about ourselves are generally self-fulfilling. Because we make them happen with our pass/fail mentality. I think you are setting yourself up. You are telling yourself again and again that you can't live with moderation, that it has to be one way or the other.

I beg you to get help. To learn another way of being. There have been so many times in the past year and a half I've had to look crazy in the face and reject it. When I'm doing something i recognize as self destructive, I've had to stop myself and take another route.

I'd agree with everyone else on the eat to live thread that a bag of candy isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But the importance you are attaching to that bag of candy is huge. And your continued reliance on sugar...simple carbs and candy, is not a healthy way of eating.

Again, you have convinced yourself that if you're not thin, you'll have to be fat. I think you've put a lot of pressure on yourself in terms of 'what if I fail'-failing meaning 'get fat'...that unless you change something inside yourself, you will keep having this battle until you are in starvation crisis again, or obese.

You are going to eventually have to CHOOSE mental and physical health. When you do decide to choose, you'll realize that you'll do anything to acheive it...including stepping out, going to groups, working on your real issues behind food.

I truely hope you get there.

B
 

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iunderstand COMPLETELY about food obseesion! I obsessed myself to 300+ lbs! I eventually had to have gastric bypass surgery this year and am back down to 176
BUT...still have the obsession. My personal take on food obsession is that it doesn't go away but how you deal with it can change. I'm not vegan but do not eat meat or fish. When I find myself obsessing about something I try to find a HEALTHY equivalent. lately I crave sweets since I can't have sugar so I've been substituting watermelon (it's sweet and I can eat ALOT of it for few calories). It's not easy but it can be done. Eating disorders are like addictions in that they are always there but if you pracitce coping skills you can keep the obsessions in check and live your life.
 

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Iwant to try to change but every time I eat I feel like I have overeaten, and then I give up. Lunch was pb&j w/3 tbsp pb, soymilk and 1/4 a watermelon and a scoop of nut. yeast. The problem is I was not shure if I was hungry, I don't know how to find out, either. I knew I should have eaten otherwise I would have probably not eaten until a long time, and it had been 3 hours seence last meal, so I figuerd I was probably hungry (I mean I was wanting food?). but now I wish I had'nt. It's like this every time. And now I feel I have gained fat deposits, so I think well I'll try tommorrow. BUT I've been saying that for a week. I am so depressed. I wish I could drive alone.
 

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I think you need a meal plan, designed by someone else which will tell you what to eat and when. This makes it so you can't even think about food, it just is what it is. You simply stop at meal times to read what it is you eat, make it, and eat it. Then, you find your hobbies and interests and really dive into those things. STOP worrying about calories, fat, ect.ect., and start eating a balanced mix from each food pyramid group when you are hungry. There is a middle ground!! Its not starve or overload. I really think getting someone to design a meal plan for you might really help, that way you don't have to worry and fret about your food decisions, you just eat.

Everyone is right about getting hobbies and interests outside of food. Lets make that your goal for the week, to pick up one new activity! I'll do it too!

lovenlight,

linz
 

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Keegan, what did you DO between breakfast and lunch, other than think about when your next meal was going to be?

Second, let's look at your meal...

pbj, soymilk nut yeast. With pbj, which is good in a pinch, you are going to be getting a good amount of 'simple sugar.' What about trying some different foods? Instead of all the cereal, pbj, pancakes, etc....try a meal with some whole barley or brown rice, nuts, or a stir fry with nuts and lots of dark green veggies. This won't help your obsession, but it will help you feel both full and satisfied. You are relying so much on things with no substance. Lots of carbohydrate, not much else.

Then, after you've eaten a full meal, I urge you to go outside and do something unrelated to working out. I don't know what you're interested in, but you could take a walk (a gentle walk, not a see how much I can burn off walk) to the library, or a park. Read something unrelated to food or weightloss. Any friends you have at school...outside your family. Call one of them and see about getting together for a movie. Go to a museum, get involved at a shelter (animal or human), do some stuff outside of eating or thinking about eating. As long as you are sitting home counting the hours until the next meal, you are stuck in the cycle of addiction and obsession.

Practice this stuff. Get out like this daily (in ways unrelated to exercise obsession or food obsession). Then when you get home and you feel it's time for you to eat again, fix something else that contains all of the important elements of a nutricious meal. Protien, fat, unprocessed, whole carbohydrate (other than cereal), vegetable, fruit.

That's the best advice I can offer. It will feel totally foreign to you at first. You will NOT want to do these things. But over time doing these things you will get to be a whole, functioning individual...I promise.

Good luck.

B
 
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