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1,727 Posts
I understand why you're upset, I would have been too.
I think maybe though your friend felt as if you were pushing your ideas at her. Even though it really doesn't sound as though you were, it sounds as though she took it that way.
A lot of people make judgements about food before they've even tried it - think of little kids screwing up their faces before trying a food... you know they'd made their mind up about the food, and they aren't going to like it, before they even tried it. Well, I've found adults are very often the same. Even family members that are vegetarian, and very happy to eat vegan food... I'll say something has tofu in and before they've tried it I can just see by the look on their face they think it'll be disgusting. It fustrates me no end. They had one bad experience with tofu and now if they think something I cook has it in they think it's disgusting... even though I've fed them the same foods and just not mentioned what was in it and they loved it to bits. Madness!
So my point is... she probally was never going to like the food, and she probally felt affronted sitting in a vegan place with you being so excited about everything being vegan and vegan info all around, and felt like she was being attacked. She wasn't. But it sounds to me like that was how she took it. I guess she felt like it was one big horrible experience, horrible food, feeling like the odd one out, feeling like people were judging her clothes (they probally didn't even notice the uggs) and that you were trying to convince her to be vegan.
I think there are some people who are just close minded and have barriers in their minds like that, no matter what you try. It doesn't make them bad people, perhaps just ignorant people. I find the only real way forward is to accept it, and not to try to change them, because it only ends in a falling out. Sad but true.
I think maybe though your friend felt as if you were pushing your ideas at her. Even though it really doesn't sound as though you were, it sounds as though she took it that way.
A lot of people make judgements about food before they've even tried it - think of little kids screwing up their faces before trying a food... you know they'd made their mind up about the food, and they aren't going to like it, before they even tried it. Well, I've found adults are very often the same. Even family members that are vegetarian, and very happy to eat vegan food... I'll say something has tofu in and before they've tried it I can just see by the look on their face they think it'll be disgusting. It fustrates me no end. They had one bad experience with tofu and now if they think something I cook has it in they think it's disgusting... even though I've fed them the same foods and just not mentioned what was in it and they loved it to bits. Madness!
So my point is... she probally was never going to like the food, and she probally felt affronted sitting in a vegan place with you being so excited about everything being vegan and vegan info all around, and felt like she was being attacked. She wasn't. But it sounds to me like that was how she took it. I guess she felt like it was one big horrible experience, horrible food, feeling like the odd one out, feeling like people were judging her clothes (they probally didn't even notice the uggs) and that you were trying to convince her to be vegan.
I think there are some people who are just close minded and have barriers in their minds like that, no matter what you try. It doesn't make them bad people, perhaps just ignorant people. I find the only real way forward is to accept it, and not to try to change them, because it only ends in a falling out. Sad but true.
