[jessickah]

So yesterday was supposed to so fun and i was BEYOND excited.
My bestfriend/maid of honor and I went to the Grindcore House, vegan coffee house. It was so cool! They had hot chocolate, whipped cream, lattes, sandwiches and paninis consisting of daiya cheeses and field roast meats, pastries and bagels with tofutti cream cheese. all vegan I was loving it. I wanted to try everything, but she refused to share anything with me. So I got a gingerbread lattee with whip it was deeelish, but I was still pretty disappointed that I couldnt try more. She ordered a HOT CHOCOLATE AND HATED IT. She took ONE SIP, looked at it all snotty, and looked away. I tried it, it was good all you tasted was chocolate ?

I got a prairie house sanwich, daiya cheese, red peppers, and avacadp sandwich to go for my fiance. Then I went to Blackbird's vegan pizzeria. I looked up many amazing reviews for this place so I was extrememly excited and ofcourse I wanted to try everything. I'm like

Wanna to share a seitan cheesesteak?
-No.
How about pizza?
-No.
Uhhh... frenchfries?
-No.

She got a vanilla bean soda...took one sip, glared, and pushed it away.

I ordered a seitan cheesesteak and had to take 1/2 of it home because I couldnt eat it. I wanted to try so much. Very disappointing. Then at the coffeeshop there was a little leaflet on how to be compassionate to animals and I was like, you should read this!
completely factual. no bloody gruesome pictures. Just facts and she throws it on the ground....at a vegan coffeeshop....

She said she hated the hot chocolate, soda, the food looked gross, and she didnt fit in because she was wearing uggs. like okay you are aware that uggs are cruel, yet you still wear them? Her excuses for eating meat is I JUST LOVE IT TOO MUCH I NEED IT ALL DAY.

I'm really not trying to "push" my opinions on others, but I was just sitting there in awe the whole experience. Like I feel as though I have gotten to the point where I don't think I can be friends with someone who is perfectly OK with eating meat(and being aware of all the cruelty that happens), wearing uggs, and not being open to veganism. She did drive me there, but I mean COME ON make an effort and don't sit there with a miserable look on your face. Am i just being judgemental? Has anyone else "gotten to this point?" and if so, how did you deal with it?!?

This is why I only really spend time with my fiance. He didn't turn vegan for me, but he is a vegan because he actually listened, understood, and agreed with everything I believe in.
I'm going with him next time, he already takes me to a lot of vegan places down there and he is very excited to go to these

I wish I knew vegans.

 

[Bright Bird]

I would have been upset as well. Even if she has no plans to adopt a vegetarian lifestyle (or even try it) she could have at least have put forth some effort to be open minded and supportive of you instead of making faces at her food and turning her nose up at it. That's part of what friends do: they support each other despite their differences. It sounds like you don't get a chance to try these places often and that this outing was supposed to be a treat. I'm sorry that it didn't go the way you had hoped.

 

[jessickah]

thanks

and no I have to travel to the city to get actual 100% vegan food.
Ofcourse, I can eat vegan frozen dinners,vegetables, and accidently vegan food, but its not the same.
sometimes I just crave non-vegan food, and want a vegan substitute! (and not having to cook it!)
I love that there is no cross contamination, I'm around people with the same beliefs, and that I'm directly supporting veganism.

 

[Identity_thief]

I understand why you're upset, I would have been too.

I think maybe though your friend felt as if you were pushing your ideas at her. Even though it really doesn't sound as though you were, it sounds as though she took it that way.

A lot of people make judgements about food before they've even tried it - think of little kids screwing up their faces before trying a food... you know they'd made their mind up about the food, and they aren't going to like it, before they even tried it. Well, I've found adults are very often the same. Even family members that are vegetarian, and very happy to eat vegan food... I'll say something has tofu in and before they've tried it I can just see by the look on their face they think it'll be disgusting. It fustrates me no end. They had one bad experience with tofu and now if they think something I cook has it in they think it's disgusting... even though I've fed them the same foods and just not mentioned what was in it and they loved it to bits. Madness!

So my point is... she probally was never going to like the food, and she probally felt affronted sitting in a vegan place with you being so excited about everything being vegan and vegan info all around, and felt like she was being attacked. She wasn't. But it sounds to me like that was how she took it. I guess she felt like it was one big horrible experience, horrible food, feeling like the odd one out, feeling like people were judging her clothes (they probally didn't even notice the uggs) and that you were trying to convince her to be vegan.

I think there are some people who are just close minded and have barriers in their minds like that, no matter what you try. It doesn't make them bad people, perhaps just ignorant people. I find the only real way forward is to accept it, and not to try to change them, because it only ends in a falling out. Sad but true.

 

[LedBoots]

She might have been upset or worried about something else entirely, you know how that makes it hard to eat and easy to be cranky.
Sounds like meat -eaters guilt, though.

 

[Joan Kennedy]

When I eat at a vegan place I usually go by myself. I know about three people who wouldn't mind going too, and sometimes I'll take one of them along. But even with those three people, that would be about one time in ten when we're eating out together. We'll much more often go to a vegan-friendly place that also serves animal products, so everyone can get something they'll like. It sounds like it was too much, too soon for your friend. And you're completely right, it's much more fun to be able to sample things other people ordered. But you have to be with the right person for that to happen. Good thing your fiance sounds like the right person.

 

[vMaryv]

You friend is so closed minded! Even when I was omni, I was excited to try vegan food b/c it was new, fun, and different! Is she the kind of girl that doesn't want to try ethnic food either?

Some ppl are those types tho; they don't want to try anything new. They are too scared of new stuff! It seems she was stubbornly refusing even to give it a chance. If it bothers you, I'd just not go with her to do things like that. You can still maintain your friendship; if she's your best friend, she must have SOME redeeming qualities~! Just do things with her that don't have to do with food.

 

[jessickah]

she at boca vegan chicken nuggets when she was wasted ate the whole bag! her excuse is-
"they were probably gross...i was just drunk!!!!"
no..maybe they are JUST GOOD.

ugh she offered!!!!!!!

 

[vMaryv]

um, then only explanation I can think of is PMS.
I am sometimes illogically stubborn for two or three days of the month. So..I could maybe sympathize... *trying*
;-)

 

[jessickah]

on top of this she is LACTOSE INTOLERANT
she was bitching hardcore about how her hot chocolate tastes like soy.
THE CHOCOLATE OVERPOWERS THE DAMN SOY.
omg. i dont think she is PMSing she is always DIFFICULT and ignorant. well lately =/
like, im on a diet and going to eat 1 plain bagel, 1 bagel with egg & cheese, and venti caramel frappucinno with whole milk & whip for breakfast. claims shes on a diet and won't eat for the rest of the day.

 

[vMaryv]

Is the engagement quite recent? She may be having a hard time dealing with you getting married. You have said you are only spending much time with your fiance. Could be the source of her acting out...maybe time for a heart to heart?

 

[SwissMiss]

I understand that you were upset. I would have been too!

Not so much because she doesn't want to be vegetarian or vegan, as everyone has their own opinions. And maybe one day she will change. But I cannot stand when people claim vegan food is yuck JUST because it is vegan.

My brother used to criticize everything I made when I said it was vegan. Now I just cook stuff for him and say it was made 'special' for him. And he loves all of it.

I think people are afraid of stepping into the vegan crowd for some reason.

 

[jessickah]

nope, she has always been like this just has gotten worse.
probably because i recently lost a ton of weight
plus, im vegan and ya know she LOOOOOOVES meat >.<

atleast i have you guys

 

[vMaryv]

oh jealousy is not fun to deal with!! Ah, you can only set a good example. Her attitude is up to her!

 

[Ira]

thats horrible. I could never be best friends with her, she acts like a dumb child who says that she doesn't like it even really before she tries. I am so grateful for having a nice best friend. When she comes home todight i will give her a big kiss for enjoying veg food as well

 

[sleepydvdr]

She probably felt out of place in a vegan restaurant. Well, she got a taste of how we feel out of place in all other restaurants.

 

[Merci]

How frustrating

I'm sorry she spread her negativity during your special time. I used to act like that when I was in a bratty mood as a kid!!!!

 

[LedBoots]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jessickah

nope, she has always been like this just has gotten worse.
probably because i recently lost a ton of weight

Ding Ding Ding, I think we have a winner here!

You are now an engaged, skinny, vegan and she is....not. Be kind.

 

[PTree15]

Jessickah, I have a friend who refuses to even try my baked vegan goodies (which people have complimented me on numerous times, not even really knowing they were vegan goodies) because of preconceived notions. Close-minded doesn't even come close to describing her when it comes to this, lol. I'm sorry you are going through this. It is indeed very frustrating. I have a handful of people who would go to a vegan place with me, but most of the time, I go alone. By the way, is the Blackbird Pizzeria that you went to the one in Philly? I miss that place so much since I moved back up north.

 

[rags.]

...Are you sure you want her to be your maid of honour? :\\