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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm outgoing, have a positive disposition and was well-liked by my friends but for a myriad of reasons, I moved away, with no intention of returning.<br><br>
Now, I'm alone in a new place with little to occupy myself other than simple hobbies and exploration. Dejected from repeated failure at meeting others, I'm finding new difficulty communicating with strangers and an unsettling misanthropy. Aimlessly sending resumes isn't helping me find jobs and I am increasingly pessimistic about meeting people through various groups and activities.<br>
Moreover, I avoiding contact with old friends for fear of feeling regret at what was a very adamant life changing decision.<br><br>
I can't seem to establish myself here, I'm frustrated with my futile attempts and I don't know what to do.
 

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That's rough. Here are my suggestions:<br><br>
It looks like you are a keen photographer, right? Are there any evening classes, photography groups or suchlike in the area? Could you possibly join that and therefore introduce yourself to a new circle of friends? I know you said you feel pessimistic about meeting people this way, but have you tried it? I'm not trying to be patronising - I genuinely don't know if you've used this approach.<br>
Do you play sports? Maybe that would help?<br>
Are you into live music? Punk, metal, dance, etc? Go to a gig, bounce off a few people and "apologise" to them. Get chatty. Swap numbers.<br><br>
Where in Canada are you? I have some friends there. Maybe you could hook up - assuming the distance isn't too far.<br><br>
Isolation and loneliness is something I can relate to and I wouldn't like to think of somebody suffering what I've gone through in the past.
 

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why not do a little volunteering? seriously. great way to meet cool people.<br><br>
what is this big change you made, and why would it necessitate that you sever all ties with your friends?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Grubnutter</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2959304"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Are there any evening classes, photography groups or suchlike in the area? Could you possibly join that and therefore introduce yourself to a new circle of friends?</div>
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I absolutely have to do this, Vancouver's got a few - i'm looking into it now. Thanks for advice!<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>papayamon</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2959314"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
why not do a little volunteering?</div>
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sounds better than working! Great suggestions.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>theLaika</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2959341"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I absolutely have to do this, Vancouver's got a few - i'm looking into it now. Thanks for advice!<br>
sounds better than working! Great suggestions.</div>
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Let us know how it all goes. No one should feel so isolated and alone.<br><br>
::knucklebump:: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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I could never move away from friends and family and adventure out on my own...needless to say, I have no advice but Grubnutter and papayamon sound like they are onto something. Good luck! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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I'm actually in a similar situation, but for completely different reasons. I feel isolated because all my friends and family have moved away (or died, in the case of older family).<br><br>
I grew up in Florida, and I had a few friends, but I'm not the outgoing type with lots of friends. So I had a small circle of close friends, who I still keep in touch with by phone and see maybe once per year, but I'm the only one who moved back down here after going away for college. As for the family, my mom and grandparents died, and my dad always hated Florida, so he went back to Tennessee when he retired. My sister went to college in Chicago and ended up staying there. So I'm the last one left down here from my family, except for an uncle who I've never been close to and his new wife's family who I hardly know.<br><br>
As I said, I'm just not the outgoing type who makes friends easily. I meet people through work or activities, but most of them are more like acquaintances than friends to me. So most days, I go to work, then come home to hang out with just my bunny in the evening. I keep saying I need to get out of the house more, but I usually don't have any place to go or anything to do.<br><br>
--Fromper<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/juggle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":juggle:">
 

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Well, you could always try to turn the things that seem like negatives into positives. For example, there are some really great things you can do when you have few people to please/worry. Maybe start doing the things you've previously wanted to do but couldn't do because of what people might think/ how it might make people feel.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ElaineV</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2965600"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Well, you could always try to turn the things that seem like negatives into positives. For example, there are some really great things you can do when you have few people to please/worry. Maybe start doing the things you've previously wanted to do but couldn't do because of what people might think/ how it might make people feel.</div>
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I think that's definitely important to remember - especially true if you're in an isolating position. For instance, I have a lot of time for my own hobbies and feel I can improve at them quite rapidly with the extra time I have.<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>exiled_expatriate</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2963656"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
There's a chance I'm moving to Vancouver, BC soon, finally leaving America behind. If you're interested in meeting up, I don't mind.</div>
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woot - but I'm the exiled expatriate....!<br><br><br>
// Thanks for the ideas and support. I try harder these days and things have been looking up - I went to a party, although it was a little immature for my tastes, It was nice to converse with other people (as I say, I'm pretty outgoing.) Moreover, I spoke to a girl for ages at said party and well, she's interested in going for a date after I asked her - ! Incredible luck.
 

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A good friend of mine, also in Vancouver, feels exactly the same way. She moved there three years ago and feels the city is rejecting her. I think you two guys should meet and vent :)
 

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HUGS- I am a SAHM, I moved 5 years ago and I have been miserable and lonely ever since. I totally hear ya.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>exiled_expatriate</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2963656"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I feel all I have to do is remain available and if people express interest in me, fine.</div>
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Word of warning--it doesn't usually work that way. I know from experience that people won't generally come to you. You have to go to them, especially if you're not an extrovert.
 

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Totally agree about the volunteering. You will meet like-minded people, add to your skills do some real good for the world and be able to answer the question in your interviews, "What have you been doing with your time?"
 

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First: I'd make an effort to keep my friendships alive, even if they're now long-distance friendships.<br><br>
I don't think I make friends easily- I have a knack for saying something kind of wierd, which although it isn't offensive, some people are put off by that. This doesn't bother me much: if someone can't accept eccentricity, so be it. Since you're more outgoing though, I wonder why you're having trouble hooking up with people?<br><br>
I agree with volunteering as a way to meet people, especially since this automatically puts you with people whose interests are somewhat similar to yours.
 
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