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Discussion Starter #1
A couple of weekends ago I met a guy in town, and then I ran into him the weekend after that too.<br><br><br><br>
Anyway he got my number and we've been txting/talking on msn.. and he asked if I want to do something in the weekend.. and of course I said I do! And.. I do!<br><br><br><br>
So now the weekends here and I'm sick.. so I can't do anything. But even if I wasn't sick I'd say it anyway, and I'd put it off.. again and again..<br><br><br><br>
And it's what I always do, or else I'll go out of my way to intentionally screw it up, or make up some reason as to why I can't see them again. (or convince myself why the guy would be bad for me... but with this guy I don't have anything at all to do that with. And I just wish I had the balls (figuritively speaking, of course.) to just freaken go do something with him (that doesn't involve meeting up when we're intoxicated.. like the two times I've met him.)<br><br><br><br>
I think I'm just scared of having someone love me, and/or getting my heart broken *SIGH*.. Or shy? (I'm not normally that shy.. only around people I don't know.. and yeah not always shy..)<br><br><br><br>
Anyone else like this? How'd you get over it? How do you deal with it???<br><br><br><br>
It isn't like I want to be single, at all!! But then anyone who comes along that I could be with.. make up excuses and don't go out with them! Or go all weird and stop txting/calling/whatevering them.. for no reason.<br><br><br><br>
UGH!
 

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First of all, remind yourself you can go as slow as you want. One meeting doesn't mean you have to see him again, it doesn't mean you have to kiss him, or anything!<br><br><br><br>
Second, make a list of all the things you worry that could happen. Try to get as extreme as possible. Then come up with reasons why it's ok even if those things happen. You might not be able to know right away what makes you nervous, but let your mind wander of what you imagine if you move forward and try to identify when you start feeling anxious.<br><br><br><br>
The beginning of relationships are hard for me because I feel like I "owe" people something and I'm not sure if I will like them. Also, it is very difficult for me to break through the first physical contact. Some people are very casual about kissing, I am not. So I worry that someone will want to more more quickly than I do. Sometimes it helps if I just tell the person up front what my hang ups are and that takes some pressure off.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Good ideas, thanks Thalia!<br><br><br><br>
I'm a bit worried he's maybe got the wrong idea about me too.. since both weekends I was (well we both were) very drunk.. and yeah lotsa kissing etc.. but then.. when we've been talking he isn't been all dodgy/dirty.. so probably not then!
 

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Well, it sounds to me like you're making a very big deal of a simple date. Try thinking of it this way - every guy in every date is just an option, no more no less. Minimize your expectations and take it all very easy (and, down the road should there be one, slow) - that way you'll avoid disappointment & freaking out about future commitment.<br><br><br><br>
Worked for me :)
 

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If you're finding it hard to deal with the first meeting because you feel a little uncomfortable for whatever reason, you could try arranging to see him in a group situation. If that goes ok, maybe you could then arrange a proper date together with just the two of you.
 
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