VeggieBoards banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
22 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, so I became a Vegetarian last year, and within the last 5-6 months I went Vegan. I really don't have a problem with avoiding dairy/eggs/animal products anymore, and I know I'll never quit Veganism.<br><br><br><br>
But I sort of have a problem, and I think a lot of people out there have a similar issue. ...My family. Now, I consider myself to be pretty tolerant towards meat-eaters. I've barely even told anyone I was vegan, and really try to avoid the whole subject because I know it is a sensitive issue. I don't lecture my family about meat farms or battery cages, and I kind of expect treatment in return...<br><br><br><br>
My Mother can understand why I don't eat meat. Although she does eat it, she avoids it for the most part. I've converted my sister to vegetarianism, but I know she'll never go vegan with me. When I ask my mother about veganism, she turns up her nose, and to my face says "It's a waste of time. There's nothing wrong with eating dairy and eggs- it's not killing them."<br><br><br><br>
The first time I heard this I was so shocked that I started listing off all the cruelties they place on those poor animals: about the battery cages, how by-product of dairy is veil, and all those nasty things. I expected her to be more sympathetic! If she doesn't think the way meat farm animals are treated is right, why would she think dairy cows should be subjected to torture?<br><br><br><br>
And I'm constantly trying to get her to take me to Whole Foods, or ANY health food store for that matter. There's not alot I can get at my conservative local grocery store... But she has not taken me anywhere. EVER. This not only hurts, because this appears to me that she doesn't support me, but everytime I bring it up she ignores me and says we don't have enough money. (Which is not true. My family buys atleast 40$ in junk food every week.)<br><br><br><br>
And then, the worst of the lot, is my dad. He is ALWAYS making fun of Vegan food, calling it disgusting and refusing to eat any of it. I've made some EXTREMELY good vegan cakes, brownies, tofu lasangna... (the list goes on) and he only sticks up his nose. Then, he yells at me for not making any NON-vegan food. ??? Why would I make non-vegan food?!?! And then he rants about how yummy eggs are, and won't listen to a word I say. Which isn't that much because I'm usually so flabbergasted that he would ever be so thick.<br><br><br><br>
Maybe I'm just venting, because I'm not really sure what I'm asking. It's just, I have never even met a vegetarian, let alone another vegan, and I feel so alone in this redneck state I think home should atleast be livible. I don't know how to explain to my family that I'm extremely upset by the way they are always patronizing and judging my vegan meals, how they refuse to buy me proper vegan foods, how they've never ONCE included me at dinner/birthdays and how they offer me cheese and eggs. My dad even bought me marshmellow chocolates (which weren't even vegetarian) for V-day... And the only reason he remembered I couldn't eat them was because someone at his WORK, who I've never even MET, reminded him I was vegan.<br><br><br><br>
Also, I haven't told my extended family anything. I'm afraid for Easter, when we usually all get together to eat, because I'll have an empty plate and I don't want to offend anyone by saying I'm vegan. Plus, some of my family isn't welcoming to ''treehuggers'' like me and... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("><br><br><br><br>
Gah, I dunno. I'm sorry if I've sounded bitter. I'm sure loads of you have similar/worst problems then I do. I just needed to vent...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
190 Posts
Poor you. I get the piss taken out of me from my mother but then I have come to realize that most people who take the piss are either closed minded and ignorant of difference or just guilty that their diet/beliefs are so evil compared to a vegans.<br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">There's nothing wrong with eating dairy and eggs- it's not killing them."</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
Priceless. I take it she knows nothing of the factory farming industry or veal crates.<br><br><br><br>
Good luck with keeping your morals though, it is worth it in the end (extended life expectancy and better health throughout life). Have you looked on forums for vegans/vegetarians living nearby or local support groups?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,014 Posts
Along the lines of the thehappyhippo's recommendation to look for local veg groups, I found local vegetarians through meetup.com. I'd recommend checking that site out.<br><br><br><br>
--Fromper<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/juggle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":juggle:">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
24 Posts
I'm sorry that your family is being less than supportive. Try telling them just what you told us--you don't go out of your way to insult their eating habits, and that you deserve the same respect that you're giving them. Wait awhile and see if after a few weeks they don't let up a little bit. If things go badly and it doesn't look like your family is going to change their minds about treating you disrespectfully, just remember that you've got all of us supporting you, and that the animals thank you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
516 Posts
This issue extremely bothers me, and it does so because it seems to happen an awful damn lot. Rest assured my friend - you are not the only Vegan that has to tollerate this meat-eating world. Hell, we all do!<br><br><br><br>
Just last night, I finally told my mother that I was Vegan again. She was immediately upset. I was suddenly being questioned as to why I would want to be Vegan, to which I could only respond that it did not make me feel like a very big person eating another living creature. The whole night she was touchy with me, and when I tried to talk sensibly to her, she just began to freak out. During all of this, I kept my cool. I did not patronize her. I did not tell her that unless she was Vegan I would hate her. I merely tried to explain why Veganism was the only right lifestyle for me. Yet I was supposedly a bad guy, as I was "trying to make" her go Vegan.<br><br><br><br>
The debate over my lifestyle will never go away. All of my life, my family will be waiting for something to go wrong with my health, just so that they can point and laugh. They are just waiting for the moment that my brain develops a tumor or something, merely so that they can say, "I told you Veganism is unhealthy!" Do you know why I believe they treat me like this? Because they feel guilty.<br><br><br><br>
I believe that all people - in general - know that what goes on with the meat industry is very wrong. Not only that, but I also believe that most can accept that the Vegan lifestyle is a perfectly healthy one. Unfortunately, the one factor that a lot of people seem to lack is the power to change who they are, and as such they merely believe the lies that we are all fed. The schools continue to post up the info-mercials about milk (the banners) exclaiming its health benefits - despite its true drawbacks - and people buy into fully, because god forbid that they like to enjoy some soymilk! It is twenty-five cents more, anyway.<br><br><br><br>
So, as vegans we must except that we are a minority. We are spread out in small numbers and in small groups. However - we do exist. I merely look at that fact in order to cheer me up.<br><br><br><br>
So our families are a little on-edge about our choices. I have all the family I need right here. That is enough to make me feel happy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
22 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks everyone, it really helps having you all here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">!<br><br><br><br>
I've tried to look for veggies/vegans in my town, but it's very... er, redneck so I don't think I'll ever have good luck. Lately I've taken up looking at vegan friendly colleges, though. I think that'll be my only way out of meeting another vegan face-to-face. But like you said, Aussyj, I think I have all the family I need right here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
And I agree, I think my family does feel guilty. I'll try to be more calm and collect next time I get thrown another, "But they're just animals!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,014 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Ignite My Bones</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Thanks everyone, it really helps having you all here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">!<br><br><br><br>
I've tried to look for veggies/vegans in my town, but it's very... er, redneck so I don't think I'll ever have good luck. Lately I've taken up looking at vegan friendly colleges, though. I think that'll be my only way out of meeting another vegan face-to-face. But like you said, Aussyj, I think I have all the family I need right here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
And I agree, I think my family does feel guilty. I'll try to be more calm and collect next time I get thrown another, "But they're just animals!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"></div>
</div>
<br>
I would think most major colleges are likely to have some sort of veg community these days. Remember, universities in general tend to be very liberal. I remember being offered vegetarian food by some club that was trying to win people over at the Florida State University student union over a decade ago, and that's in a hick southern college town (which happens to also be the state capital, but that doesn't mean much).<br><br><br><br>
As for the "But they're just animals" line, just respond by saying "That's the same thing plantation owners said about their slaves" or "That's the same thing the Nazis said about the Jews". See if they ever say it again.<br><br><br><br>
--Fromper<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/juggle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":juggle:">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
166 Posts
Im so sorry. My parents are the same, but a little less 'harsh'. However, some of my family teases me non-stop and decides to automatically hate everything that I cook. What state do you live in, because I live in Georgia, and have never met a vegan at all. Really, most people go, "You're a what?!!" And Ive only met like 2 vegetarians in my lifetime. literally
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
145 Posts
It takes a lot of strength and conviction to take a stand and choose a lifestyle when you are still dependent upon your parents to provide for you. I have so much respect for all of you that are doing that without any support. It is frustrating enough to deal with family and friends as an adult independent of others 'control, so I can only imagine the frustration you are experiencing.<br><br><br><br>
Perhaps you can ask your mom to at least visit a Whole Foods or other such place with you so you can show her how possible it is to spend the money there for your food? Explain to her how this is something you have chosen as a lifetime commitment, and that regardless of her making the same choice, you want her involved in your life and that you at least need her support, if not her approval.<br><br><br><br>
Hang in there. It only gets easier. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sunny.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":sunny:">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,875 Posts
I agree that you might try at least just asking your mother to visit a whole foods or health food store with you. She will probably like it.<br><br><br><br>
Try not to let your family hurt you like this. It really isn't right... try just telling your family that you love them and would appreciate their support. When someoen says something rude let it go but if it continues just say "I love you, please stop saying ____" whatever it is that's offensive.<br><br><br><br>
My other suggestion is to try and find a way to help pay for a few things for you to eat. If there is complaint, no matter how valid, about money issues offer to do a few chores so you can have some things just for you. Or ask them if they would support you if you were diabetic and tell them that though this is a choice.... it's just as important that you have nutritious things to eat.<br><br><br><br>
I completely feel for ya <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top