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Discussion Starter #1
I was just wondering if anyone else has had their boyfriend secretly video tape them during sex and what they would do? Should I still be mad at him or should I leave it? The night that it happened I was very mad at him but after talking about it for a while he kissed some ass and I KIND OF forgave him. I can't stop thinking that he might try to do it again. What should I do about this?
 

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Assuming I'm not being naive and this is a real question, I don't know how the younger generation feels about this, but it's a little disturbing to me. You agreeing to it would be another story but I don't like the idea that he did it without your knowledge.
 

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Frankly I'd castrate him for that. Relationships are based on trust, no? Why stay with someone you can't trust? I can't think of anything worse than clicking a wrong link on the 'net only to be confronted with footage of yourself bonking an ex's brains out.
 

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Taping it secretly sure doesn't sound like it's for personal fun and sharing to me. If it was to share together surely you'd let the participant know.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>karenlovessnow</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Assuming I'm not being naive and this is a real question, I don't know how the younger generation feels about this, but it's a little disturbing to me. You agreeing to it would be another story but I don't like the idea that he did it without your knowledge.</div>
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I don't think it's a generation thing, Karen. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/worried.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":worried:"> It's disturbing to me too.<br><br><br><br>
to the OP: this is a HUGE invasion of privacy. What did he intend to do with the tape? It seems to me that if it's something you would agree to, he should have asked you, and if it's something you wouldn't, it's a huge betrayal of trust to do this.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
After we were done having sex he walked over to his computer desk and turned the cam away, It was then that I noticed the red light was on. Then he picked it up and said he was going to put it away. I said babe what was that? Did you just record us? and he didn't know what to say so I got dressed as quick as i could and walk out of his room. He followed me and was telling me that he was about to put it on for us and be like "look baby we're porn stars". He broke the disk right in front of me so I know it won't be seen but the fact that he did that really bothers me.
 

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And all the other times you didn't catch him? What has happened to those disks? There's nothing wrong with him wanting to tape you two doing it, it's just the not asking first bit that rings alarm bells.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
well he just got the video cam so i know there are no other ones but i'm a little nervous that he might try it again. he treats me good other then what he did I just don't know how to deal with this cause as far as he's concerned I'm over it but I'm not. When I think about having sex in his room again it gives me the willies cause he might find a better place to hide it.
 

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<span style="color:#008000;">If you can't trust him to be honest with you all of the time, then you probably should stop sleeping with him. Just my $0.02.</span>
 

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Discussion Starter #10
should I believe that he was going to put it on for us. I WISH I WOULD HAVE WAITED A COUPLE MORE MINUTES to see what he was really going to do with it. I'm kicking myself in the ass right now.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>CASSIE</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
He broke the disk right in front of me so I know it won't be seen but the fact that he did that really bothers me.</div>
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I could be wrong but I doubt it would record right from the webcam to a disc. It probably went on the hard drive and breaking "the disk" was just for show.<br><br><br><br>
*runs to google and does a search for "cassie sex"*
 

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Discussion Starter #12
no his video camera uses a disk to record instead of a cassette. It wasn't hooked up to the computer at all.<br><br>
Your a guy what do you think he would have done with it?
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>CASSIE</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
no his video camera uses a disk to record instead of a cassette. It wasn't hooked up to the computer at all.<br><br>
Your a guy what do you think he would have done with it?</div>
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Oh, you said cam so I thought you meant webcam.<br><br><br><br>
Strange first post.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>CASSIE</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Your a guy what do you think he would have done with it?</div>
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<br><br><br><span style="color:#008000;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":rolleyes:"> Because all men are exactly the same, and would therefore take the same course of action.</span>
 

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Discussion Starter #16
hey sarah, I know I have to deal with it but how do I do that? How do I bring it up with him again to try to get over this?
 

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Discussion Starter #17
I'm not saying that all men would do the same thing I know that everyone is different. I just thought a man would have more of an insight to what might have been his course of action! I'm not saying anything bad about MEN. Sorry if you took it that way!<br><br>
I'm just trying to sort this out in my head.
 

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<span style="color:#008000;">It just came across that way. Thank you for qualifying your meaning.<br><br></span>
 

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Ok, so obviously you have to talk to him about it. You asked how to bring it up again. Just tell him you need to talk to him because something's been bothering you, sit him down and launch right in. Just explain that he really needs to talk to you about anything like that before he does it. Maybe you'll agree, maybe not but he has to talk to you first. It could be the case that he thought that he could surprise you with it and you wouldn't feel violated, sometimes guys are just stupid.<br><br>
However if you have any concern that that wasn't the case then you're going to have to take more serious action. You're not going to be able to enjoy sex with this dude if you're constantly checking that you're not being recorded.<br><br>
Before I did anything else with him I would be doing a quick search of the internet because there is the possibility that he's done this before and you haven't noticed the camera, then I would demand that he puts the camera away, or only do it in your bedroom, not his.<br><br>
Don't have sex with him again until you're sure you can trust him.
 

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What might he do with it? Keep it for himself to watch. Or if he's really vindictive, post the video or stills on the internet or show to his friends if you have an ugly break-up - sorry to say, it's been done before...
 
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