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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,<br><br>
I am new to this forum and was hoping for some advice. I have been a veggy for 30 years and my wife is a meat eater. We have argued on and off about me being a veggy sometimes, but I thought it was sorted until we have our first son. He is being brought up as a meat eater, at the request of my wife. My wife has now said that its not fair on him that I am veggy as it will stop him eating meat because he will immitate me.<br>
Today she said that if I didnt give up being a veggy it shows that I don't love her or our son and that when we now eat at meal times she will disguise my food to look like meat or make me eat elsewhere. That along with the fact that we are now cold as ice with each other.<br>
So I now feeling totally guilty about something I really shouldnt have been made to feel guilty about. Its even got to the point where I have thought about eating meat again. To be honest I can't see me being happy either way.<br><br>
Any advise would be really appreciated from anyone that has had similar problems.<br><br>
Thanks
 

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I don't think the issue here is your meat-eating. It's alarming that she wants to control you in this way and she is not treating you with respect. That is going to influence your son much more than what's on your plate.<br><br>
I would suggest finding some info like excerpts from The China Study and the ADA which show that vegetarian children are just as healthy (and probably much more so) than meat-eating children and it will do your son no harm if he imitates you.
 

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Your wife is being a bully and you need to put your foot down. What if you flipped it on her and said that if she didn't give up meat, it proved that she didn't love you? It'd be cruel, unfair and ridiculous, right?
 

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I can't see how she sees it as being unfair that because your veggie because he'll immitate you. There are two parents here, both with different eating preferences and one of which has most of the world eating as they do...unfair? In this situation, it would be nice if the child had the ability to choose.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for your replies. Its really appreciated<br><br>
The problem is that my wife sees me being a vegetarian as a fad I had as an 11 year old. Now I am an adult I need to reconsider my options from a more 'grown up' perspective. She considers vegetarianism as something that isn't natural for our bodies and therefore fundamentally unhealthy.<br><br>
I have told her today that there is no way I will change, which has caused lots of tears because she thinks I am making our son unhealthy and therefore don't care. This has piled lots more guilt on me. I believe our son should be brought up to see that people are different and can make their own choices and not just fit into some kind of 'norm'.<br><br>
I'm just not sure how I get this across to someone who would appear to be an expert in emotional blackmail and so sure she is right because its the norm and she believes its the way god created us.
 

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Don't feel guilty and don't let her bully you into meat eating<br><br>
Why would she think you will make your son unhealthy. are you unhealthy? if you are fine, bring it as an example of how someone who ate vegetarian for 30 years can still have a good health
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>delicioso</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3016890"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Never heard of an adult trying to make another adult give up vegetarianism. Your wife is way out of line.</div>
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This. ^^ Honestly.
 

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Oh my gosh. I feel so sad for you! This is a terrible situation to be in.<br><br>
Like someone has mentionned, it would be a good idea to present her facts from reliable sources that veg*nism is healthy. But that sounds like it might be tricky to land on a time when she would actually be receptive to that kind of information, if she would ever be at all.<br><br>
Gosh, I don't know if I could ever raise a child NOT to be veg*n! You're incredibly strong in all this. And, it seems, very tolerant of her and her views. Itthink it's unfair that's she's putting so much guilt on you and not respecting YOUR views/beliefs. You're fine with hers, right? She should be accepting at the very least, supportive, ideally.<br><br>
Just because veg*ns are a minority, doesn't mean we're wrong!
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>delicioso</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3016968"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
She needs to be educated on vegetarian nutrition. Her fear of it is irrational.</div>
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This. Lots of good books, the most influential for me, probably because I read it first, was the China Study.
 

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Obviously it's not a fad, since you've been eating this way for 30 years. How long have you two been together? If you're a reasonably healthy individual, then surely she must see that, eh?<br><br>
Lots and lots of families have one veg parent and one not, and the kids love them both. I suspect that there may be some insecurities about her own choice and what your son will say once he starts to understand the reasons you don't eat meat.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Thanks everyone.<br><br>
My compromise to her was to let our son eat meat. I never expected for her to then push things further. Unfortunately I now know that this is exactly what she does, so I really have to stand my ground, even if it makes life difficult.<br><br>
On the health front I do have lots of injuries! Although I do my sport to a very high standard and I believe thats more the reason than my diet. After all people like Mark Cavendish (world road cycling champion) are veggies and it doesnt seem to have affected him. In fact his reason isnt because of ethics but because it improves his performance.<br><br>
The reason she is so scared is because she thinks our son would be influenced by me and become a vegetarian. But even if I wasn't, my strong feeling about animal welfare would still come across and influence him. So do I stop all this as well.
 

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Ah, no a parents job is to influence their kids. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> And parents is plural.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>spinmaster</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3016857"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Today she said that if I didnt give up being a veggy it shows that I don't love her or our son and that when we now eat at meal times she will disguise my food to look like meat or make me eat elsewhere. That along with the fact that we are now cold as ice with each other.</div>
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I can't believe that she is actually thinking about disguising your food to look like meat <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/dizzy2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":dizzy:"> What an effing drama queen.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Clueless Git</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3017036"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Is this a wind up?</div>
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My thought too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:">
 

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Your wife sounds like a nutterbutter.
 

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I would ask your wife WHY she thinks not eating meat is unhealthy and then ask her to back up her claim with evidence.<br><br>
What she's saying is totally untrue and not based on any real science, meanwhile you have a lot of facts on your side you can use to prove your point. Vegetarian diets are approved for people of all ages by the American Dietetic Association, for instance: <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/07/090701103002.htm" target="_blank">http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0701103002.htm</a><br><br>
Unfortunately, this does sound like a bigger issue than just your diet. Your wife sounds like she has some emotional issues she needs to work out... Good luck.
 

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I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that the reason she is acting like this is because she truly believes veg*nism is unhealthy. First things first. Convince her that it isn't. If she refuses to listen to cold hard facts, then you have bigger problems...<br><br>
Good luck.
 
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