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Boy, I can really pick 'em at BlockBuster. I picked this beauty following on the heels of fairly recent rentals of Boa, Python I and II, and Crocodile II (something else was in that mix but it escapes me.) All of the aforementioned were bad, yet forgettable. Was there nothing currently being produced to rival Shark Hunter and Shark Attack (not the sequels) on the bad-o-meter?

Ah, but then...I rent Dragon Fighter. Gotta love the premise - cloning of ancient dragon DNA in an underground lab. Complete with a drunk computer weasel, Russian scientists and security goons (in Northern California working on a US government project no less...), a crazy ass scientist, and a deaf cook who turns out to not really be deaf (the gov't was only hiring folks with disabilities so...)

How bad is thee, oh, let me count the ways...

1.) Numerous paraphrases of lines from other movies.

"Is that clear?"

"Crystal." - A Few Good Men

"Say hello to my little friend." - Scarface (Said by a Russian chick as she faces down the dragon with a handgun - reult? Russian chick flambe.)

"Are you keeping score? We're getting killed here." Rough paraphrase from Alien II (I believe, could be from I.)

Had some others, but those stick out.

When you have to borrow dialogue, how great is the story? Well...

2.) The storyline. Quite an effort to be this bad. The director and writers even tried not to be bad - and failed. The main character recognized how stupid everyone else was acting, which was good. Everyone still kept acting stupid. That's bad.

Example: Computer weasel and hero must get laptop from computer weasel's room. Problem: dragon on loose. Solution: go to room really, really fast. Get to room safely. Problem: Computer weasel wants to stay in room and drink scotch. (This after computer weasel had to be threatened with having hand chopped off to get him to go to his room.) Solution: Hero leaves computer weasel in room. Problem: Computer weasel thinks hero has returned and is acting like dragon to scare him. (Problem: Why the hell would hero do this after trying so hard to get away from hallway with dragon?) Solution: None. Computer dude is just drunk. Problem: Computer weasel opens door to confront the hero. It's the dragon. Solution: Computer weasel is eaten.

Throw in a reactor ready to reach critical mass, and the fact that every exit, way to shut off reactor, etc, involves running through the hallway with the dragon, and yes, you have a thrill a minute ride wondering "who the **** was the engineer that designed this deathtrap?"

3.) Other signs of a bad movie: Fuel line leak in helicopter in first scene. Gee, wonder if that will come back up?

One black character. Dead 6 minutes after dragon is created.

Lead scientist is nuts. No one understands why until...hero gets in his room while hiding from fragon and finds...books and drawings of dragons, along with an ancient sword. Seems the nutty scientist had a woody for dragons, which is why he keeps coming up with reasons not to kill it even while it is treating the research staff like an all-you-can-eat buffet.

4.) The acting. More fake Russian accents than a Hogan's hero episode involving the really hot blonde chick that was a Russian double agent against the Nazis. Either that, or for you 80s wrestling fans...more fake Russian accents than an interview with Ivan Koloff, Nikita Koloff, and Krusher Kruschev during Saturday Night wrestling on TBS.

The hero wasn't that bad. He at least seemed stunned at the idiots around him. The others? A couple had to be related to the director. Really.

I give the dragon the best rating, even though he seemed a bit too "animated".


5.) The climax. Fire-breathing dragon chasing the escape helicopter while heading towards a major city...only to be thwarted by the timely arrival of US military jets. And yes, the broken fuel line does play a role.

Of course, we have the happy scene of the loving couple sitting in the downed helicopter laughing it up and cracking jokes. Friends and co-workers may be toast, but we have goo-goo eyes to make at each other.

6.) The sequel. Uh oh, seems another dragon may have been cloned that no one knows about...and this one survived a radioactive blast. Hey wait, I think I saw this movie. It's called Godzilla.
 

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Sounds awesome! I'm going to give it a try, seems to be my kind of movie.


Quote:
Originally posted by Tame

"Are you keeping score? We're getting killed here." Rough paraphrase from Alien II (I believe, could be from I.)
Yeah it's from 2, Bill Paxton saying "maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events but we just got our @sses kicked, pal!". It's timeless
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by Oatmeal



Yeah it's from 2, Bill Paxton saying "maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events but we just got our @sses kicked, pal!". It's timeless
Heh. The line in Dragon Fighter was something very close to that. My ears perked up when I heard that and the bad-o-meter took off.
 
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