VeggieBoards banner
1 - 20 of 94 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,607 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Welcome to the first installment of Dr. Power's virtual couch. C'mon in and have a rest on the couch, tell me about your problems, and let me laugh at... I mean help you. Or, you can thinly disguise your issues as a "friend's issues" *wink wink nudge nudge*.

My first patient, one Mark Arthur X. I will protect his last name for his own privacy. Tell me, Mark A. X. what is on your mind?

Well Doc...

Umm... One second, let me clear up something up, I'm not actually a doctor. Just so you know.

Okay, Mr. Power...

Ummm.... Please call me Dr. Power. Thanks.

Right. Anyway, here's my problem, Mr. Doctor Power: I have a friend...

CUT TO THE CHASE!

No really, it's my friend... He's so freaking vain. I've never met a guy ask me to tell him what I think of his outfits or his hair or his freaking shoes so goddam much. He seem completely heterosexual other than this, so I don't suspect he's queer...

Ummm... I believe the P.C. term is "queer".

That's what I said.

Of course it is (note: patient may be delusional). Continue...

Well, I just want him to shut up already. I like to look good for the ladies just as much as the next guy, but he's too much. He's one of my best friends, but I feel so queer when I'm hanging out with him.

You mean gay?

No, you said queer is the P.C. term.

Hey, this isn't about me, okay? Listen, tell your friend that you don't really care what he looks like. In fact, tell him he looks like he just stepped out of a bad 1984 fashion show. Even if he DOESN'T ask. He'll get the message. If he doesn't, tell him you don't swing that way and find a real man-friend.

Gee thanks Dr. Power. That really helped.

Don't patronize me. That'll be $150. Cash.

I thought you said...

NEXT!!!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,607 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by buddadragon

id rather spend time on the pewter then watching sports on tv. what should i do doc....u take bc/bs dont ya
I don't know what a bc or a bs is (I certainly don't know what B.S. is, as I certainly don't have one of those) but I think I can help.

First of all, any friend is better than no friend. No friends is the sign of being a lame-o, nazi, or a left-wing republican. as for your problems with not wanting to watch sports... well... it's baseball season, so this is not a big deal. If you still have this problem come second week in september please take two NFL football doubleheaders and perhaps a dose of monday night football and make another appointment if you're still feeling like a lame-o.

NEXT!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,104 Posts
Dr. Power, my "friend" is a single, forty-something, fairly hip woman who is interested in this guy who might be a little younger than she is. He's super-nice and has shown some interest in her. However, my "friend" heard through the grapevine that he has a girlfriend. First, what do you think about the older woman/younger man combo? Second, how easy do you think it would be for my "friend" to "arrange" for the girlfriend to be put on a plane with a one-way ticket to a place far, far away? Being the professional that you are, do you know anyone who could assist with the "arrangements?"
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,607 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by carnelian

Dr. Power, my "friend" is a single, forty-something, fairly hip woman who is interested in this guy who might be a little younger than she is. He's super-nice and has shown some interest in her. However, my "friend" heard through the grapevine that he has a girlfriend. First, what do you think about the older woman/younger man combo?
Are you asking me out?

Quote:
Originally posted by carnelian

Second, how easy do you think it would be for my "friend" to "arrange" for the girlfriend to be put on a plane with a one-way ticket to a place far, far away? Being the professional that you are, do you know anyone who could assist with the "arrangements?"
Oh, so you're only asking me out because you want a favor. Fine. How far is "far, far away"? Omaha? Wyoming? Jersey City, NJ?

However, as for your "friend"... Dr. Mr. Power has two friends that come to mind. Both with girlfriends. Except one met his girl last week. The other 4 years ago. They both still have girlfriends. See, there's a degree to having girlfriends, and like the leeches they are, the less time they have spent sucking the life-blood from a guy, the easier it is to burn them off. So, I suggest that "your friend" find out just how long the guy has had this leech... er... girlfriend... And if it hasn't been a significantly long time, I recomend the boyfriend-bogart. If it has been a long time... Well, bogart anyways.

Best of luck to youuuuuuuuuure friend.

(Disclaimer: mileage may vary. I'm not a doctor, although I play one on VB.)

NEXT!!!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,108 Posts
Dr. Power, in the past week i have been experiencing a burning sensation when i urinate. at first i thought it was because my dog was chewing on my leg at the same time that i was peeing but it turns out that this pain is simply in addition to my other pain. can you please help?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,607 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by stonecrest

Dr. Power, in the past week i have been experiencing a burning sensation when i urinate.
Stop drinking that piss-water beer for starters...

Quote:
Originally posted by stonecrest

at first i thought it was because my dog was chewing on my leg at the same time that i was peeing
Are you sure it was your leg he was chewing on? Are you sure it was your dog??

Quote:
Originally posted by stonecrest

but it turns out that this pain is simply in addition to my other pain. can you please help?
Your best option is just stop urinating. Eventually, you'll have to go so bad, you could be pissing radioactive acid with razor blades and it'll still feel good.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,607 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Mr. Dr. Power, Esq. is closing office hours for the night. He has to pick up a bottle of wine before the store closes - there's a nurse intern coming over for some dressage practice. I don't know what dressage is, but I will likely be suggesting we undressage instead. Whatever that means.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
238,393 Posts
My friend is constantly bothered by a guy she knows to bake him a pie. She's really annoyed, and all she wants to do is b*tchslap him. He's such a prick! He'll just randomly ask her, and each time she refuses. She wouldn't do it if her life depended on it! Can you help me- I mean, my friend?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
14,618 Posts
Quote:
Originally posted by FafaFrappy

My friend is constantly bothered by a guy she knows to bake him a pie. She's really annoyed, and all she wants to do is b*tchslap him. He's such a prick! He'll just randomly ask her, and each time she refuses. She wouldn't do it if her life depended on it! Can you help me- I mean, my friend?
Dr. Tame will answer.

The answer is simple. Bake the pie. There. All better.
 
1 - 20 of 94 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top