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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Welcome to the first installment of Dr. Power's virtual couch. C'mon in and have a rest on the couch, tell me about your problems, and let me laugh at... I mean <i>help</i> you. Or, you can thinly disguise your issues as a <i>"friend's issues"</i> *wink wink nudge nudge*.<br><br><br><br>
My first patient, one Mark Arthur X. I will protect his last name for his own privacy. Tell me, Mark A. X. what is on your mind?<br><br><br><br>
Well Doc...<br><br><br><br>
Umm... One second, let me clear up something up, I'm not actually a doctor. Just so you know.<br><br><br><br>
Okay, Mr. Power...<br><br><br><br>
Ummm.... Please call me Dr. Power. Thanks.<br><br><br><br>
Right. Anyway, here's my problem, Mr. Doctor Power: I have a friend...<br><br><br><br>
CUT TO THE CHASE!<br><br><br><br>
No really, it's my friend... He's so freaking vain. I've never met a guy ask me to tell him what I think of his outfits or his hair or his freaking shoes so goddam much. He seem completely heterosexual other than this, so I don't suspect he's queer...<br><br><br><br>
Ummm... I believe the P.C. term is "queer".<br><br><br><br>
That's what I said.<br><br><br><br>
Of course it is (note: patient may be delusional). Continue...<br><br><br><br>
Well, I just want him to shut up already. I like to look good for the ladies just as much as the next guy, but he's too much. He's one of my best friends, but I feel so queer when I'm hanging out with him.<br><br><br><br>
You mean gay?<br><br><br><br>
No, you said queer is the P.C. term.<br><br><br><br>
Hey, this isn't about me, okay? Listen, tell your friend that you don't really care what he looks like. In fact, tell him he looks like he just stepped out of a bad 1984 fashion show. Even if he DOESN'T ask. He'll get the message. If he doesn't, tell him you don't swing that way and find a real man-friend.<br><br><br><br>
Gee thanks Dr. Power. That really helped.<br><br><br><br>
Don't patronize me. That'll be $150. Cash.<br><br><br><br>
I thought you said...<br><br><br><br>
NEXT!!!
 

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doc,can ya help me....im best friends with people ive never meet.<br><br>
id rather spend time on the pewter then watching sports on tv. what should i do doc....u take bc/bs dont ya
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by buddadragon</i><br><br><b>id rather spend time on the pewter then watching sports on tv. what should i do doc....u take bc/bs dont ya</b></div>
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I don't know what a bc or a bs is (I certainly don't know what B.S. is, as I certainly don't have one of those) but I think I can help.<br><br><br><br>
First of all, any friend is better than no friend. No friends is the sign of being a lame-o, nazi, or a left-wing republican. as for your problems with not wanting to watch sports... well... it's baseball season, so this is not a big deal. If you still have this problem come second week in september please take two NFL football doubleheaders and perhaps a dose of monday night football and make another appointment if you're still feeling like a lame-o.<br><br><br><br>
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bc/bs....blue cross/blue shield....but i think im getin better...fri nite fights are on the duce and im watching while type'n
 

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Dr. Power, my "friend" is a single, forty-something, fairly hip woman who is interested in this guy who might be a little younger than she is. He's super-nice and has shown some interest in her. However, my "friend" heard through the grapevine that he has a girlfriend. First, what do you think about the older woman/younger man combo? Second, how easy do you think it would be for my "friend" to "arrange" for the girlfriend to be put on a plane with a one-way ticket to a place far, far away? Being the professional that you are, do you know anyone who could assist with the "arrangements?"
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by carnelian</i><br><br><b>Dr. Power, my "friend" is a single, forty-something, fairly hip woman who is interested in this guy who might be a little younger than she is. He's super-nice and has shown some interest in her. However, my "friend" heard through the grapevine that he has a girlfriend. First, what do you think about the older woman/younger man combo?</b></div>
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Are you asking me out?<br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by carnelian</i><br><br><b>Second, how easy do you think it would be for my "friend" to "arrange" for the girlfriend to be put on a plane with a one-way ticket to a place far, far away? Being the professional that you are, do you know anyone who could assist with the "arrangements?"</b></div>
</div>
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Oh, so you're only asking me out because you want a favor. Fine. How far is "far, far away"? Omaha? Wyoming? Jersey City, NJ?<br><br><br><br>
However, as for your "friend"... Dr. Mr. Power has two friends that come to mind. Both with girlfriends. Except one met his girl last week. The other 4 years ago. They both still have girlfriends. See, there's a degree to having girlfriends, and like the leeches they are, the less time they have spent sucking the life-blood from a guy, the easier it is to burn them off. So, I suggest that "your friend" find out just how long the guy has had this leech... er... girlfriend... And if it hasn't been a significantly long time, I recomend the boyfriend-bogart. If it has been a long time... Well, bogart anyways.<br><br><br><br>
Best of luck to youuuuuuuuuure friend.<br><br><br><br>
(Disclaimer: mileage may vary. I'm not a doctor, although I play one on VB.)<br><br><br><br>
NEXT!!!
 

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Thanks, Dr. Power, I feel better already! FYI: While you're a good-looking, smart, cool guy and all, I wouldn't ask you out. Nothing personal. It's just that you already have a harem at your disposal here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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Dr. Power, in the past week i have been experiencing a burning sensation when i urinate. at first i thought it was because my dog was chewing on my leg at the same time that i was peeing but it turns out that this pain is simply in addition to my other pain. can you please help? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/huh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":confused:">
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by stonecrest</i><br><br><b>Dr. Power, in the past week i have been experiencing a burning sensation when i urinate.</b></div>
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Stop drinking that piss-water beer for starters...<br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by stonecrest</i><br><br><b>at first i thought it was because my dog was chewing on my leg at the same time that i was peeing</b></div>
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Are you sure it was your leg he was chewing on? Are you sure it was your <i>dog??</i><br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by stonecrest</i><br><br><b>but it turns out that this pain is simply in addition to my other pain. can you please help? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/huh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":confused:"></b></div>
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Your best option is just stop urinating. Eventually, you'll have to go so bad, you could be pissing radioactive acid with razor blades and it'll still feel good.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by carnelian</i><br><br><b>It's just that you already have a harem at your disposal here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"></b></div>
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Hey, I didn't spend 6 months attending Hollywood Upstairs Medical College for nuthin' <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/beer.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":beer:">
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Mr. Dr. Power, Esq. is closing office hours for the night. He has to pick up a bottle of wine before the store closes - there's a nurse intern coming over for some dressage practice. I don't know what dressage is, but I will likely be suggesting we undressage instead. Whatever that means.
 

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My friend is constantly bothered by a guy she knows to bake him a pie. She's really annoyed, and all she wants to do is b*tchslap him. He's such a prick! He'll just randomly ask her, and each time she refuses. She wouldn't do it if her life depended on it! Can you help me- I mean, my friend?
 

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I also have a friend with a problem. She knows a guy who always talks about everything in a sexual way... fruit, guitars, etc.<br><br><br><br>
What should she do??
 

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Yes.. maybe I should. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"><br><br><br><br>
But what if you... *cough* .. I mean he starts talking about my feet in a sexual way?
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by FafaFrappy</i><br><br><b>My friend is constantly bothered by a guy she knows to bake him a pie. She's really annoyed, and all she wants to do is b*tchslap him. He's such a prick! He'll just randomly ask her, and each time she refuses. She wouldn't do it if her life depended on it! Can you help me- I mean, my friend?</b></div>
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Dr. Tame will answer.<br><br><br><br>
The answer is simple. Bake the pie. There. All better. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 
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