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Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:<br><br><br><br>
8:00 am - Dog Food!!... My favorite thing!<br><br>
9:00 am - A car ride!!... My favorite thing!<br><br>
10:00 am - A walk in the park!!... My favorite thing!<br><br>
11:30 am - Got rubbed and petted!!... My favorite thing!<br><br>
12:00 pm - Lunch!!... My favorite thing!<br><br>
1:00 pm - Played in the yard!!... My favorite thing!<br><br>
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail!!... My favorite thing!<br><br>
5:00 pm - Milk Bones!!... My favorite thing!<br><br>
7:00 pm - Got to play ball!!... My favorite thing!<br><br>
8:00 pm - WOW!!... Watched TV with people!... My favorite thing!<br><br>
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the Bed!!... My favorite thing!<br><br><br><br>
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary<br><br><br><br>
Day 683 of my captivity:<br><br><br><br>
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.<br><br><br><br>
They dine lavishly on fresh meat while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.<br><br><br><br>
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.<br><br><br><br>
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headlesss body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates exactly what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! They sicken me.<br><br><br><br>
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.<br><br><br><br>
Today I was almsot successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs instead.<br><br><br><br>
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!<br><br><br><br>
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards on a regular basis. I am almost certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...for now.
 

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classic
 

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/bump<br><br><br><br>
I'm bumping this because I was thinking about it and it's really funny.
 

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My doormat says something similar to the cat part, I love it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
It says something like: The Cat, Day 845: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on a diet of dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape, that, and the satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. I fear I may be going insane...<br><br><br><br>
My cats, however, run the house and are far from captives, nor do they ever try to escape.
 

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we have 4 cats that run the house, too. i am pretty sure that my male cat hates me now because he is surrounded by 3 females (5 if you count the lizard and myself). strangely, the female cats like my boyfriend more than me and xavier likes me more than he does my boyfriend.
 

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The fundamental difference between dogs and cats is this: the dog looks at us and thinks these people feed me, shelter me, and provide for all my needsthey <i>must</i> be gods. The cat looks at us and thinks these people feed me, shelter me, and provide for all my needsI <i>must</i> be a god.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Washoe</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
The fundamental difference between dogs and cats is this: the dog looks at us and thinks these people feed me, shelter me, and provide for all my needsthey <i>must</i> be gods. The cat looks at us and thinks these people feed me, shelter me, and provide for all my needsI <i>must</i> be a god.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
So true!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:">
 

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I am the slave to the cats. I am to be in bed by exactly 10:30pm, or severe consequences will ensue. I must lie on my right side so as to provide a nice sleeping space near my stomach, thus providing warmth for my master.<br><br><br><br>
The dog is just kinda like "Yey. I'm alive!!! 8D!"
 
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