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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Cesar, my boy with lymphoma, spent last night at the emergency vet. This morning when they were helping me get him in the car to take to my vet, he had a seizure. He's now at my vet receiving fluids and antibiotics. He's had an infection that he just can't get rid of. So prayers and good vibes once again are much appreciated. If the seizure was from the spread of the cancer, we all know how that will end. But if it was from fever or something else treatable, I haven't given up hope that he'll pull through just one more time and we can have some more time together. He was very bad last weekend and wasn't expected to live the weekend, then he turned around and had 3 pretty good days, surprising the vet, and then went downhill again. Of course I'm trying to figure out what I've done wrong. What if I'd caught the infection sooner? What if I'd upped his vitamins? Did I give him too many vitamins and they interfered with the chemo? And on and on.

As soon as my sister picks my nephew up from my house, I'm going back to check on him. (Note to anyone who works from home--don't let your relatives with kids know or you'll be asked to babysit/pick up from school 3 days a week.) Not that I don't love my nephew, but the stress of Cesar this week on top of trying to baby sit, talk to the vet with a 10 year old interrupting every other second, and still trying to get work done is getting to me. *end vent*

My biggest fear is he will die when I'm not there.
 

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Oh my prayers are with your baby!

one of my dogs was diagnosed with insulinoma about 4 years ago. i found out because she started having seizures and it turned out to be the cancer ( insulinoma ) anyway it had already spread and they said even with chemo they gave her 3 months.........i didnt do chemo, i wanted her last days to be home in a comfortable place, not hooked up to drugs that wouldnt extend her life or cure her ( i would have done it had it been a different type of cancer or outcome).......anyway...........i gave her vitamins and herbs and she had 2 YEARS more with us, at the very end when she started going downhill I just couldn't accept it........she stopped eating, was sooooo sick, i just couldnt deal with it, i kept trying different things and the vet talked to me and encouraged me to rethink euthanasia, finally my husband said to me, you really have to let her go , she is in pain, miserable, and sick.

so we made the choice to euthanize her, and i was able to say goodbye, hold her, and it was as nice of an end as i could have hoped for her, she was no longer suffering, i feel bad still that i think i let her suffer longer than i should have, but i am crying just writing this because the feelings are still so fresh and that was 2 years ago here.

Please also try not to question yourself, you are doing the best you can and you love your doggy, I know i should take my own advice because i did the same thing and i still do. its hard not to.

my good thoughts are with you and your doggy.
 

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I hope you and your puppy are doing well. Let us know how things go.
 

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More good thoughts.


And...don't beat yourself up for even a second..you're doing a great job, and sometimes these things are just out of your control.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts. Cesar died Friday morning. If only I could do it over again and get a second chance at decisions I made. I screwed up. The only thing that keeps me going is my other fur kids needing me.

He waited so long for a home and then didn't even get to spend most of his last days in it.
 

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Wolfie I am soooo sorry to hear this news, Please don't second guess yourself we all do the best we can, and you did a great job with your cesar!

He was very lucky to have you.
 

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I'm so very sorry.I know just how you feel.It's normal to feel that you could

have done more when something like this happens.Your Cesar is at rest now and

nothing will ever be able to harm him again.He knew how much you loved him,

I'm sure of that.

Wish I could be there to give you a big hug.
 

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oh Wolfie... I'm so sorry :hugs:

You didn't screw up. Most pets can only wish for the care and attention you give to yours. Don't regret anything, but savor the memories and the good things you brought to his life. Put together that scrap book.

 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kpickell View Post

Most pets can only wish for the care and attention you give to yours.


You gave him a good home while he was there!

 

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Wolfie, I'm so sorry about Cesar.
You are such a wonderful dog mom and have done so much for the dogs who have been oh-so-lucky to have had the good fortune of having you in their lives.

Two weeks ago, I lost one of my beloved kitties, so I know the heartache you are experiencing. What helps me get by are all of the wonderful memories of my Willie (who had the biggest heart ever and was a friend to everyone) and the thought of how lucky I was to have had him in my life and with me as long as I did. I hope you can find comfort in your own loving memories of Cesar.
 
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