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Does vegan status play any role in how you choose relationships?

840 views 13 replies 13 participants last post by  animeidee 
#1 ·
I remember seeing a poll on FB asking if you would date a non vegan, if it matters. Does it matter to you? What about beyond dating, having children, knowing that your partner wouldn't be 100% behind you in raising them in a vegan/vegetarian household, as they would be eating meat and buying certain things for themselves? Could you be with someone who was an excessive meat eater or didn't care to buy cruelty free things? Would you just chalk it up to "different beliefs" like different religions or cultures (as that literally is what it is sometimes) or would you just not be with them ?

Just curious about how some people out there feel about this.
 
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#3 ·
My husband and I have been married 28 years. I've been vegan for 6. We have a mostly vegan home, although he isn't vegan by any means (pescatarian). Even though he isn't vegan, he supports me in everything I do, in all areas of my life - from how I shop and feed the family, to my fostering dogs, to my activism, to my art, to my business ventures - he's wonderful. I support him, too - in his work, his travels, his sports, his health issues. Partnerships aren't made strong because people are exactly the same, they're strengthened by mutual respect and occasional compromise.
 
#4 ·
My fiance and I have been together since senior year of high school.. about four years. We've lived together for about 3 of those years. I have just recently gone vegetarian (about 3.5 months ago), and would like to eventually be vegan. He consumes some form of meat every single day. It has taken some getting used to, on both of our parts, because we were so used to how things had been for four years. It was difficult for him at first to really understand why I made the change, and it was only until very recently that he understood why it was so important to me. After we had 'a talk' about why I am a vegetarian and that I will never go back to eating meat, he fully supports my decision. Just a couple days ago he told me that he wants to eat less meat. I told him that we should have a veggie night, once a week, where I'll cook some delicious veg*n meal, and that no meat can be eaten that day at all. He looked at me, I thought he was going to negate it, and he said why only one? How about two or three. So, I think relationships have a lot of give and take. I fell in love with him years ago, and he is the same man now as he was then. I don't want to change him, but it would be great if he could join me on this journey. I think that because we were together before I became veg makes a difference. We're not going to leave eachother because we don't agree on everything, that's silly.

I think that if I were single and looking for somebody, I would take into consideration if the other person was a veg*n. It would certainly be easier to be in a relationship where people share the same beliefs and goals, but I don't think I would ever not give someone a chance because they ate meat.

Just my opinion
 
#5 ·
Not in a relationship currently but crushing on an omni guy. IDK, I've only ever met two other vegans in my life and I think it wouldn't be so easy to find a guy/girl that I like with the bonus of being veg*n. But maybe I'll meet that one, that only, vegan guy/girl for me one day
 
#6 ·
I'm married to a non-veg. But being that i've only been vegan for all of about 2 weeks now (in the midst of the 30 day challenge and loving it), its really hard to answer. I was a meat and dairy eater and I married a meat and dairy eater. That being said, he's very supportive and loves to eat and try new things. He's loving everything i've been cooking for dinners and they've all been vegan. I even fed him Veganomicon's chickpea cutlets and ......he loved them!! I have to say, if he wasnt so supportive, i'd probably be miserable. I'd honestly have a hard time if he wanted steaks and such all the time. But thankfully, he doesnt. Gosh, now that I think about it, thanks to me he's pretty much vegetarian!

Would I like it if he had the same beliefs as me? YEAH! I would love someone on this vegan journey with me. I think if maybe I was single and dating I'd probably want to date a fellow vegan.
 
#7 ·
I married an omni and now 5 years later he's vegan. He was always very open minded (except for some jerky jokes when we first met) and thats why it worked. When he learned about what animals go through that was that for him. I would not be able to be with someone who just didnt care.
 
#8 ·
I was always willing to date nonveg*ns but when it came to something really serious like marriage I wanted him to be vegetarian. Luckily, that's what I got. Then after we got married we went vegan together.

If we ever broke up (unlikely) then I'd probably stay single. I wouldn't even think about marrying (or enter into a domestic partnership) with someone who wasn't vegan.
 
#9 ·
This is a list of all of the vegetarian men I have met in my life:
In an ideal world, I'd want to go out with someone who was at least vegetarian. Clearly, that is not going to happen. As long as they respect my lifestyle, and do not actively hunt/fish/work as a butcher I can cope with that.
 
#10 ·
I would and do date meat eaters. However I would never date someone with no compassion towards animals at all, with an "I don't care attitude." I respect someone more if they at least acknowledge the meat industry is generally a cruel one and perhaps try to buy locally field-raised animals, or limit meat intake, than someone who just brushes it off. They must also be supportive of my lifestyle - ie guys who call up restaurants or ask waiters to assure I can eat something, I always thought it was a sweet gesture and my dad does it for me, even though he doesn't get my veganism. :p

As a vegan though, I could never marry someone who I planned on having children with (if I do decide to have children) that would not, at the very least, be willing to raise them vegetarian. I'd prefer vegan, but would be willing to compromise to vegetarian until the child was old enough to decide what type of diet they would adhere to..

I mean.. a vegan man would be very ideal, but I think I've met one or two and they were certainly not my type. Vegetarian guys are few and far between here too, and I just don't want to be lonely forever... maybe if I move to Portland, Oregon my standards will change. :p
 
#12 ·
I could never date someone who wasn't supportive. In fact, I'd rather date an omni in some ways - when you cook for them, it's one less meaty meal they eat, which isn't something you get with a fellow veg*n :p My boyfriend will eat veggie food most of the time, when he'd never really had it before meeting me - yeah, not even a main meal without meat.

Where someone is not just omni, but unsupportive, it becomes a different issue. It's the same in any relationship; if someone is tolerant of your views, even if they don't share them, it's a lot easier to work around. If they pick and poke and joke and demean you... well, that's the end of that.

With regards to the kids issue, I won't be having children. But in a hypothetical situation, I'd have to be with someone who was willing to raise them as cruelty free as possible. The household would be a meat-free zone anyway, but I'd like that to extend to trips out and everything else. I wouldn't want to be telling the children how we shouldn't eat cows whilst daddy's chowing down on a steak. So I think it'd have to at least be a vegetarian guy for me to have kids with, or someone who was willing to be vegetarian in front of the kids or something.
 
#14 ·
I'm a live and let live person. I do this for me, and you can do what you will. I'm vegetarian turning vegan, and am dating an omni. He's been nothing but supportive, and when we cook together he even makes all veg*n foods. He eats all the soy meats with me and loves tofu. When we go out he makes sure there are plenty of choices for me beforehand (like googling the menu and everything) Doesn't phase him. The only time he eats meat is if we go out, but then that's his choice. And if it bothered me, he wouldn't eat it in front of me.
 
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