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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband is a m**t eater and sometimes I have to boil his chicken for him.The smell is truley nauseating(sp?)Its so gross when I have to wash it first!And when he cooks hamburger,I have to open all of the windows just to air out the house!!I'm trying to persuade him to eat more vegetarian,some days he does then he goes back to eating his m**t

Does anyone else have this problem?And how do you handle it?

VM
 

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I've always been a supporter of "you eat what I cook. You don't like it, you cook your own."

You don't "have" to cook. You choose to cook. You don't have to cook meat for him. You choose to cook meat for him.

Don't try to change him. Instead, only cook what you are comfortable cooking and he either eats it or makes his own. This is very effective with children and, I have found, men learn almost as fast as the children.
 

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Well, VM, I think it is nice that you cook for your husband.

I think whether or not to cook it is a personal choice for you. Put another way, I know of several vegans who work as cooks, chefs, etc., who cook meat because they are obliged to by their occupations. So I don't see it as inherently wrong for you to cook meat for another person.

Let me mention a few things that I might recommend you do in your situation:

1) Get one of those instant meat thermometers and measure the cooked meat to make sure that it has been cooked enough to kill off any germs or infections in the meat. You'll have to check the recommended temperature, but I believe that is 160 degrees F.

2) Be sure to measure your husband's portion sizes. Even the American Heart Association is recommending that people eat no more than 42 ounces of meat per week. That's no more than 6 ounces per day. I have read that the standard portion of meat is supposed to be 3 ounces, but that in fact the portion that people usually eat and are served is 6 ounces.

3) In light of the Mad Cow situation, do not let your husband eat (beef) hamburger, unless that hamburger is something you grind yourself from pieces of beef you buy whole or ground before your eyes at the butcher shop while you watch. In other words, do not purchase ground beef, since the process by which the meat is removed from the bones causes parts of the spinal cord to be included.

4) Try to find acceptable substitutes for your husband. If for example he has to put ground beef in chili, try substituting one-half the ground beef you would otherwise use with TVP granules, etc. Try Veat or some of the other substitutes for chicken.

These all go to health rather than AR issues, but those are the things I would recommend to you.
 

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My husband and I are food opposites. He would never touch a veggie if I did not cook it. So I try to compromise. I will cook his nasty (with the windows open and incense burning) and he will eat my veggies. He loves it when I cook my fake meat also. It is great because we both can eat it and like it. I cook fake ground beef in a lot of things
 

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Veggiemama -

I have the same motto as Kristadb (you eat what I cook), but I realise that's not the same philosophy as others have.

In the summer you could ask that all meat cooking would be done outside on the BBQ. (reducing the odor and grease in the house)

Bake/Broil rather than fry (less "fumey" though I doubt that is an actual word)

Anything else I can think of to suggest would be based on my emotional opinionated heart (and probably wouldn't be appropriate in this case
)
 

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I refuse to cook meat so he does all the cooking.

I was veggie when I met Dave though so he knew right from the start my position on that. Therefore, we haven't had any problems/arguements over who does the cooking.
 

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I used to cook meat for my dad, brother and sister all the time. I still cook meat for my husband. The only things I don't like about it is handling it when it's raw and the smell. Otherwise, it's really not that bad.

I'm not very good at cooking meat though, mind. It's one of those things that because I'm a vegetarian, I won't taste to see if it's ok before I serve it, so sometimes my husband gets an overseasoned or bland piece of meat for dinner. All too often, he gets something like "Shake 'N Bake" or something on the George Foreman grill.

Basically, I've told him if he has a problem with my cooking, to cook for himself. Really the only time he complains is if his meat isn't the way he likes it.
 

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I'm vegan, my husband is omni. I seem to think I may have tried to cook some meat for him in the early days when we were first going out, but I'd never done it in my life as I went veggie as a teen, and I have a feeling it was vile. So he cooks all his own corpse. As the years roll on I've become more tetchy
Smoked kippers are banned. If he cooked duck or game I'd check into a hotel until the smell went. Sometimes he does BBQ, but it often rains here, sometimes he sneaks out to a caravan we have in the garden and cooks out there. Today he did it in the kitchen and I just came in here and hammered the internet until the smell had diluted. Very often we both eat vegan.

He's very supportive of me being vegan, as long as it doesn't infringe on his corpse eating, so I seldom mention it, and I do shop for corpse for him.

We have seperate fridges nowadays, and that makes me feel a lot happier in my kitchen. I have a big fridge, which he spends a lot of time in too, and he has a little fridge full of corpse and beer.
 

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Boy, I feel really lucky. My husband has been vegan for 7 years. I've been vegan for 4. I couldn't imagine having to cook meat for someone, we don't even allow animal foods in our home.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Wow!Thanks for all of your responses.


Kristadb,you know your right.I do choose to cook for him,but now I think I will choose not to.I never thought about that before.Thanks!


Spud,The word corpse really stuck out. YUCK!!I like your way of thinking though.Thanks!


VM
 

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Hi VM

I have an entire family that loves all types of meat. As a matter of fact, my youngest son (17) only eats meat and hates vegies. He calls my food "rabbit food" and how can anyone exist on this type of food.

Well......lets see, I have replaced his milk with Vanilla Rice Dream (I told him it was skim.........he still hasn't figured it out); I put TVP in all spagheti sauses, etc.

If anyone in my family chooses to eat meat - they cook it themselves. My husband is just the greatest - he eats meat - but he will clean it, put it in the crock pot, etc., all I have to do is add seasoning. Yes - I choose to cook meat for my family because I don't push my beliefs on them and they respect mine.

I guess I just have a family that is willing to compromise. And that's what families are all about. Talk to your spouse - I'm sure that if you explained how you felt, and just ask him to do the "dirty" work and you will spice; he will be okay.

Good luck. Marriage is lots of give and take - remind him!
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by kristadb

I've always been a supporter of "you eat what I cook. You don't like it, you cook your own."

You don't "have" to cook. You choose to cook. You don't have to cook meat for him. You choose to cook meat for him.

Don't try to change him. Instead, only cook what you are comfortable cooking and he either eats it or makes his own. This is very effective with children and, I have found, men learn almost as fast as the children.
I agree with you. Cooking meat for someone else just goes against everything i believe it and buying it is even worse. You don't have to push your values on to others but at the same time they don't have to push their values onto us (ie: cooking buying meat for others).

I don't even think I could live in a meat eating house again, i think if i married a omni he really would have to be the sort who ate all his meat elsewhere its one of the few things i'm not willing to compromise. Thankfully I live in a time where most males around my age are used to fending for themself.
 

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"I think whether or not to cook it is a personal choice for you. Put another way, I know of several vegans who work as cooks, chefs, etc., who cook meat because they are obliged to by their occupations. So I don't see it as inherently wrong for you to cook meat for another person."

<rant>

Although not explicitly stated, it is easy to read more into this statement. I don't think Joe meant it like this but others could easily use it as validation. Veggiemama is not obliged to cook for her husband because she is his wife. My fiance and I share the cooking, although I prefer to cook most of the food because I am very particular about it. He's a good cook when he's familar with a recipe, but if I want to try something new I will make it first. Nights when I don't feel like cooking he's happy to step up to the plate and cook something we can both eat. Some nights I feel like trying something weird, or he'll feel like some meat, so we cook separate dinners (this is pretty rare though). But I never feel like I have to cook. And I refuse to cook meat anymore. It frustrates me how many women here say they "have" to cook their husbands meat... it frustrates me because it shows they believe that it's their place to cook, when really, it should be a mutual thing. Maybe it's because I grew up in an era where women aren't necessarily inferior to men, (or at least not as inferior as they were), and because I was brought up to think I could do anything and my gender had nothing to do with it. I would NOT condone a man that would expect me to do all the cooking, cleaning etc.

It's nice if you want to cook for your husband, but not if it goes against your beliefs and you feel forced to do something that makes you uncomfortable (read: violated). Not if it's a habit. Krista is so right, it is your choice.

</rant>
 

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Every now and then I'll cook for a group of friends. I'll ask one of them to 'do' the meat since I really don't want to do it (it grosses me out) and because I don't know when it's 'done' anyway.
 

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Luckily my s/o omni bbqs every meal. However, I do the grocery shopping and every once and awhile he'll ask for a steak. Ugh.. I hate that. It's so nauseating to look at that stuff.
 

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In my house hold, we each cook for ourselves, or my husband cooks his own meat and adds it to the vegan meals that i make. Generally, i make vegan meals--except for maybe once a week when i make an omelette. i'm comfortable with this arrangement.

what i do understand those is the problem withthe smell. My hubby uses a foreman grill, and when he's good, he cleans up after himself. he isn't often good. his version of clean up is an 80% job. he may clean the meat off the grill, but he doesn't wipe down the rest of the grill or the countertop where the blood, fat, etc, has spilled. So, not only does the house stink when he cooks it, but it continues to stink long after, because of the disgusting things growing on my countertop.

Enter two things:

Clorox wipes (yes! very bad) and

threat of divorce (yes, i'm serious!).

I told him that i couldn't live in a place that smelled like our house did! one time, he didn't clean the kitchen for 6 weeks--and i didn't use it because i was working odd hours, so i was using a kitchen at one of my work places. He left flesh in the sink (no disposal), fish skin, fat, old wrappers and containers that once held his meat, and about 6 weeks worth of dirty dishes.

I noticed that the house smelled funny, really musty, algea with the smell of decay and old socks and--i later discovered--moldy rotting flesh. I went in to pick up the kitchen one afternoon when i had the time. I figured it would take an hour--it's not a very large kitchen. The kitchen too 2 days to clean and disinfect--6 hours each day! i had to get rid of pots and pans, dishes, silverware--all sorts of things could not be used anymore.

I told him that if the kitchen isn't kept in a clean, workable condition, i was GONE. I couldn't live in a place that was *THAT* filthy and i refuse to do so. If He wants to live like that, it's fine--but it will be without me.

Suffice to say, he keeps the kitchen much cleaner. Not 100% but he does clean his dishes, the grill (completely). I usually end up being the one to wipe down the countertops, but with the wipes, it's quick and easy.

So, that's me. And the smell is mostly gone. When he does cook meat, i have to crack a window in the kitchen and use the vent fan. sometimes i light a candle too.
 

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The way I see it, when my wife and I cook for each other, we're doing that person a favor, so eat what you get and be thankful for it, or make your own dinner.
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by shewolf

"I think whether or not to cook it is a personal choice for you. Put another way, I know of several vegans who work as cooks, chefs, etc., who cook meat because they are obliged to by their occupations. So I don't see it as inherently wrong for you to cook meat for another person."

<rant>

Although not explicitly stated, it is easy to read more into this statement. I don't think Joe meant it like this but others could easily use it as validation. Veggiemama is not obliged to cook for her husband because she is his wife. My fiance and I share the cooking, although I prefer to cook most of the food because I am very particular about it. He's a good cook when he's familar with a recipe, but if I want to try something new I will make it first. Nights when I don't feel like cooking he's happy to step up to the plate and cook something we can both eat. Some nights I feel like trying something weird, or he'll feel like some meat, so we cook separate dinners (this is pretty rare though). But I never feel like I have to cook. And I refuse to cook meat anymore. It frustrates me how many women here say they "have" to cook their husbands meat... it frustrates me because it shows they believe that it's their place to cook, when really, it should be a mutual thing. Maybe it's because I grew up in an era where women aren't necessarily inferior to men, (or at least not as inferior as they were)

</rant>
Correction: I'm assuming you mean wern't treated as inferior rather than women ever actually being inferior.
 

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My husband is omni and I cook for him. Maybe all of you will consider me weird or bad as I cook all of his meals for him. Yes, it would make my life easier if I didn't have to cook two different meals, but when I try to only cook veggie meals, I end up with an unhappy spouse. Personally, I would rather have peace in my household. So, to answer your question, VeggieMama - this is how I handle it: While I don't like to see such things as blood oozing out of his hamburger, I still cook it. I agree with Girlystar...my husband eats the veggies I do cook as long as I compromise and make some form of meat for him. By doing this, he has been more willing to try dishes that are meatless, as he does not like the fake meat. If I tried to force him to only eat veggies, he would rebel. At least for now, he may eat meat 3 times a week and eat veggie meals the rest - this is better than eating meat 24/7. I think if you ease them slowly into the veggie thing, it's not only easier on them, but it's also more considerate of their feelings. Best wishes to you.
 

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That's the way my household is too aarealskei .. my boyfriend is not vegetarian like me.. but he is very supportive of the veggie meals that I cook. I do cook meat for him maybe 2 or 3 times a week.. but that's the max. If he is really wanting meat any more then that we go out to dinner where he can get whatever he wants and I can get a salad.

He eats veggie burgers with me .. doesn't mind fake ground beef in our spaghetti and tacos, and even likes my fake chicken nuggets. I don't have a problem cooking meat for him though because being a vegetarian was my decision, not his. I don't want to force him to stop eating meat .. (well I do but I won't!) because it's a personal decision.

Someday hopefully he'll start feeling bad about the animals he's eating, and I always remind him when we sit down to eat what a horrible life his chicken..beef..pork.. had just to be eaten by him .. but until then all I can do is stuff him full of veggies!
 
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