I'm not divorced but I was 15 when my parents split and it was very hard at first. My mom would talk to me about it all the time and she wanted to work things out in counseling at first but when that didnt work she got very depressed. Now she says the divorce was the best thing to happen to her and shes glad she found her independence.
I have never been divorced, but I watched my parents split. My father was eviscerated. He had a crappy relationship or two in the years that followed. But today, he's happier than he's ever been, period.
It is going to get better, but it won't happen over night. You don't say whether there are children involved, etc. and all that makes a difference. However, I can tell you there is life after divorce. I am remarried for 19 years to a wonderful man. Be sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. It is easy to get caught up in what's going on around you and not take care of yourself. Good Luck!!!
It does get better, don't feel like a monster, sometimes things are just not meant to be. I've been twice divorced (first was abusive-met him the day I graduated HS and was almost a runaway bride but felt obligated to walk into the church; second, good guy but too many things happened that tore us apart). The 2nd divorce was really tough mentally (felt like a complete loser failure) but found a great therapist who helped me through. The different chapters of my life have made me a strong, independent person.
I've been married for a 3rd time for 13 years. For me guess it was that "3rd time is a charm"...
I'm sorry. I know this isn't an easy decision to make, and I wish you strength in your decision. I'm not divorced, but we've had a helluva year, and it's crossed my mind more than ever in the past. So, yeah, many hugs!
Hi Floridaisa and others! Looks like I am near the same situation as you. I got married about 8 years ago, and now in the middle of the divorce process. This is the first divorce of my life, and I have to say I feel like it is tearing me apart. Even though in our case the situation is quite easy, since we don't have any children involved and we both are economically, and otherwise too, independent and there are now disputes or arguments between us. I was the one that walked out about a year ago. First I went traveling but then told her that I don't want to come back. So I have the reason to feel guilty and I definitely have done that, blamed myself a lot, felt myself a loser, like I have ruined my own life and my partner's life as well. She has made it easier for me by not blaming me but still understanding and supporting me. It's great, but on the other hand it makes me feel more a monster.... Now, about 15 months after I left, the divorce, initiated by her and agreed by both, was in court and it will be official as soon as paperwork is finalized. The official part of it isn't for me just bureaucracy but has had a huge emotional impact to me. I have to admin I feel very shame in front of my mother, both our families and especially our mutual friends. That's what I never wanted, but I just failed ... and again feeling guilty, a big moron. The misery made me jump into a short term, not compatible relationship for a short time, but it made things much much worse and I didn't want to continue that way. Instead I wanted to make lots of new friends, especially like-minded friends. For the first time in my life I have got vegan friends and am socially involved with vegans and vegetarians, doing voluntary work, making the difference. Then I met a lady online, that has recently gone trough separation. We became friends and were talking about our experiences. We found out that we have much in common and we can talk hours and hours, and our smiles to each others are becoming wider and wider. We haven't even met in real life yet, but the friendship has given me a lot: I have started forgiving myself and accepting the situation, getting the courage to move on. The pain is still there but there is a little bit more sunshine and smile in my life. I have decided to try again work for my new future! My former spouse was not a vegetarian, and I have to say it was one of the reasons, not the main one though, for my decision to go. Now I have decided to find a vegan partner that is compatible in other ways too. A very hard task, but I have decided to give it a try.
Floridaisa, I am sure time will help you too and will bring something positive into your life too. Life goes on
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