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I am sorry this is happening to you. But there is nothing wrong with being gay. Are there any support groups in your area? It sounds like you need to meet other gay and lesbian people, even if it is online. There is a LGBT thread too somewhere here... I think it is great to have hetero friends but it would be good to balance it all out and meet some people who are gay.

http://www.veggieboards.com/newvb/sh...r-LGBTQ-VB-ers

There it is...
 

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Internet hugs! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Have you considered seeing a psychologist or therapist? It may help to be able to talk to someone who is a professional, even just once per week.

Again, hugs. And remember, there is NOTHING wrong with who you are. You are a wonderful, bright, capable person who is deserving of love and happiness.
 

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Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. Your experience sounds like it is not unlike one my best friend had when he suddenly came out of the closet. I think it shocked him that he wanted to date men more than anyone else. Anyhow, he spoke to me about his overwhelming depression and confusion during this period in his life. I hope it can bring you some comfort to know, he is happier now than he ever imagined being. We always are when we're true to ourselves, despite any consequences. I should know, as my sexuality (among other things) cost me a relationship with my mother, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Again, being true to myself has brought me more happiness than I ever dreamed of before.

I think everyone has dark periods in their lives and I hope you find your way out into the light again.
Please get whatever help and support you might need and also feel free to PM me anytime.
 

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very sorry to hear that! I agree that you should find some gay support groups so you have more gay friends. try maybe meetup.com, they might have something in your area!
 

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I second sequoia's recommendation of seeking a counselor or therapist. A lot of universities offer free counseling services to their students. You absolutely have a right to be depressed. A lot of people whose lives seem objectively "good" are depressed. Consider the fact that suicide rates are much higher in developed countries than in developing ones!

I am also graduating in a few weeks with my undergrad degree, and I feel you. It's scary. I've also been lonely and confused about relationships. It sucks. Hang in there, and accept the support of your friends. Be patient, make small steps, and things will likely clear up over time.
 

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I second everything that's been said already and only have my own hug and support to add.
 

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I would also like to add my hug. I know what you're going through and it sucks, I'm sorry you have to go through all of this loneliness. There are a few places I've found quite helpful, I'll list them out...

http://www.trevorspace.org/ -- social networking site, it helped me make some gay friends and really helped me open up and be at peace with who I am.
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/ -- if you skip the others, GO TO THIS SITE. It instantly relieves a weight off your shoulders when the world seems like it's crashing down around you and tells you, it really does get better.

It will get better, I promise. <3 If you ever, ever need someone to talk to, message me. It helps to talk to people who have gone through what you're going through.
 

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Is there a Gay straight alliance or some other LBGTQ? Club at your University? You might want to pop in there for a meeting or two. It's good that your friends are so good to you. I'm sure you'll find the right person. I also know a lot of Universities have free or reduced priced counscelling/therapy services for students. Go talk to one. Stay with your friends, that's what they're there for. Good luck with everything.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Hey folks. Cheers for the messages.
Its weird, the day after posting this I got a funny urge to go to church, not usually the place I would look for homosexual tollerance, but I went anyway. The service was fairly neutral, with some ideas I support and others that I dont, so nothing groundbreaking but being somewhere else for a while got me out of my little bubble of self hatred and back into some sort of even mentallity.
Ive taken up writting F*** it! on my wrist to remind me not to take myself too seriously.
Today all is well, my emotions are fine, even round my friend and Im much happier in myself. I still have alot to get used to. Not being able to be like my friends my take abit of getting used to, but I think like you say, talking to more Gay people will help.
I avoided this at first because I dont like the idea of thinking of gays as something new/ different I suddenly needed to hang round with. I gnerally find the way to avoid titles and prejudice is not to attept to differentiate, but just to find similaraties. I digress.

Anyway the point is the world looks brighter to me today, I just need to get this feeling to last.

Cheers
 

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Finish your degree, use it as a focus to help you forget the other issues for the time being, a few weeks and things will turn around for sure.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Purp View Post

Is there a Gay straight alliance or some other LBGTQ? Club at your University?
This was my first thought. Maybe you'll get a date, or maybe you'll just make some friends with people who understand what you're going through. But it certainly can't hurt. We all need to hang out with others like ourselves sometimes - that's why there's so many veg*ns here on VB.

--Fromper
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Lord View Post

Anyway the point is the world looks brighter to me today, I just need to get this feeling to last.

Cheers
I hope it lasts for you. I'm glad you're feeling better.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Lord View Post

Hey folks. Cheers for the messages.
Its weird, the day after posting this I got a funny urge to go to church, not usually the place I would look for homosexual tollerance, but I went anyway. The service was fairly neutral, with some ideas I support and others that I dont, so nothing groundbreaking but being somewhere else for a while got me out of my little bubble of self hatred and back into some sort of even mentallity.
Ive taken up writting F*** it! on my wrist to remind me not to take myself too seriously.
Today all is well, my emotions are fine, even round my friend and Im much happier in myself. I still have alot to get used to. Not being able to be like my friends my take abit of getting used to, but I think like you say, talking to more Gay people will help.
I avoided this at first because I dont like the idea of thinking of gays as something new/ different I suddenly needed to hang round with. I gnerally find the way to avoid titles and prejudice is not to attept to differentiate, but just to find similaraties. I digress.

Anyway the point is the world looks brighter to me today, I just need to get this feeling to last.

Cheers
That's good, I'm glad to hear that. Some religions are cool about that. I know the Episcopalians and Methodists are. Keep up the good work, and I hope it lasts for you, too.
 

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Dark Lord, I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time, and don't worry about unloading your thoughts, feelings on us. No one's forced to go through these threads, so those of us who are coming here and bothering to reply care, okay?


I know you're feeling confused now, but remember that labels aren't really necessary (though it's also okay if it's important to you; either way). You sound to me like a 5 on the Kinsey scale, which would mean you're predominantly homosexual. Perhaps technically bisexual, but since you're attraction is very much towards men and you're not really sure what your feelings for women are, the gay identity fits you better. But remember, you take on whatever label - or lack of - suits you.

As for the situation with your friend, that's got to be tough.
Not only are you worried about losing his friendship, but you're also dealing with the pain of heartbreak.
I'm not even sure what to tell you here, what advice to give. I've never been in this situation (whereas I do know more what you're going through in dealing with bad feelings about your sexual orientation, as I'm bisexual - pretty solid 3 on the Kinsey scale - and have also gone through some stuff regarding this). I'm thinking that it would probably be best for you to give each other some space for the time being, so that you can move on, get over him. This is of course assuming there's zero chance that the feelings are returned, or could be returned; it doesn't sound like this is a possibility. Once you've gotten over him, if he was really your friend, then you guys can hopefully establish your friendship again.

I hope it all works out for you...
 

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I have heard plenty of stories VERY similar to yours. I agree that you should seek out others like yourself. You are DEFINITELY not alone.

Hang in there.
 
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