[veg*nrunner]

i only recently became a vegetarian(july 21, 06) and still have yet to tell any of my friends and im on my way to becoming a vegan. because of that i avoid going out to restaurants with them, that in itself is so hard to do cuz im the captain of my schools wrestling team

. Also i absolutely refuse to eat hydrogenated oils, HFCS, dairy, etc... so that pretty much eliminates most restaurants. To make matters even worse my best friend is a huge meat eater/hunter. He even invited me to butcher a dear and go hunting with him but i simply said i was busy. Hes also the kind of guy that looks down on anything that isnt normal. any advice on how i should deal with this?

 

[MmmmVeggies]

I know how I would deal with it-

If you act as though it's something to be ashamed of, then you give people reason to think it is shameful!

Be proud- not arrogant- but very matter of fact. "Oh, I'm Vegan. I no longer eat animal derived ingredients, and I feel fantastic!" and leave it at that.

I don't lecure people, tell them they should adopt my ways. I simply smile and say how wonderful it's been for me and move on. I answer questions if asked. I have found this tactic to work in nearly every circumstance.

 

[computergirl]

I think this sort of thing is really hard. When I first became vegan I didn't tell anyone for a couple of weeks at least and then I let it come out only when I had to like when deciding where to eat. At first I was hassled a lot about it but since I didn't beat the over the head about it and refused to get drawn into discussions or debates (I didn't feel this was the time for educating them, I could wait). It's been about 2 months and no one gives me trouble anymore or acts like I'm not normal....well not usually anyway. Now sometimes I can even discuss stuff like what my reasoning is for becoming vegan without the inevitable eye rolling. It will take time.

Edit: I don't know what to say about the restaurant thing because for me I pretty much have to eat fries and/or a salad because I'm in college and the food I have access to is not exactly vegan and bringing my own food is not very convenient to carry around. When I am eating out with friends outside of school we're usually near a mall so that makes it easy with having so many options in the food court.

Good luck and congratulations.

 

[cookingVeg]

I've told people as they needed to know -- when they invite me to dinner or out to a restaurant.

> Hes also the kind of guy that looks down on anything that isnt normal.

Remember, being vegetarian is perfectly normal. (Although I'm from the city, so I have lots of vegetarian friends, whereas hunting seems odd to me.)

 

[isowish]

Tell them on a need-to-know basis (though if you're continually turning down invitations to go out with them with no reason as far as they can see, it seems like many people already need to know!)

Remember that you don't have to explain it to them if it makes you uncomfortable. A simple answer like "for health reasons" or "for ethical reasons" (I don't know your reasons) should suffice, but you don't even have to say that. You should be able to simply say "I don't want to talk about it." and they should respect that.

Restaraunts wise: if you are going to mainstream restaraunts, be prepared to eat salad, possibly with no dressing. Almost anywhere will be able to serve you that. If you want to avoid restaraunts entirely then you don't have to go. Arrange to meet your friends/teammates later.

This guy might look down on things that aren't normal, but hopefully in a little while he'll be so used to you having this lifestyle that he'll view it as normal. If he still acts like veganism is stupid, make it subtly clear that you think hunting is just as stupid but you are able to get along with him civilly. Regard everything he says about veganism as though you are patiently humouring his ridiculous point of view so that you shame him into stopping.

Yeah that last piece of advice was stupid. Good luck!

 

[zoebird]

choose your own restaurants that also have a variety of foods (that others would like) and invite your firends so that everyone can enjoy. i don't eat a lot of the things you mentioned, but i go out to dinner with my omnivorous friends all the time.

 

[steinbock]

I'm sorry, I don't have anything to say about restaraunts (I still do the dairy thing), but if you focus on friends when you go out, and deal with a dry salad, you might be alright (or even steer away from restaraunts without checking up on them prior to going out)

but with telling your friends... i've been veg for about a year and a half and still not all my friends know about my veg-ness, though that's quickly changing... (yes, i've been procrastonating). but what i suggest is just bringing it up in an offhand way next time he wants you to take part in something you don't feel comfortable with.

My one friend (who is also very big with hunting), he one time offered to order us some pizza, I told him "just get half without the sausage"

him- plain pizza... what's the point?!

me- to not starve

him- but no sausage?!?!?!

me- yup

him- you're not on a... diet, are you?

me- nope, even worse, I'm a VEGETARIAN... no meat for me, thank you

(all was said in a joking manner. He was perfectly fine with it. He asked what I thought about hunting, and I flat out told him 'hey, it's not my cup of tea, but if you want to murder innocent animals, far be it from me to stand in your way')

so the moral of my story... just try to keep the mood light and joking (if you guys joke a bunch) and just tell him this stuff and let him know that he's entitled to his opinions about veg*anism, but you've got your own opinions and since it's your food, you're going with YOUR opinions

good luck and know that what you're doing is a fine thing and we're all here for you