Hi everyone ! I am new to this website- I joined mainly because I wanted to find out what other people do in this situation. I am dating a man who not only eats meat, but does not eat a lot of veggies either. We have been dating for sometime and I do see it going further. Another point is that he can't cook, so that leaves me to do all of the cooking at some point. How do you handle a situation like this? I have had meat eating boyfriends in the past (all of them) and have cooked meat for them, but they have also cooked for themselves.This guy does not eat veggies and does not cook. Help!!!
Dating a meat-eater
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Well he can always learn to cook. Personally I would tell him that I am happy to cook him vegetarian meals, but if he wants meat to add to it he'll have to do it himself. If he doesn't know how, welcome him to the grown-up world where people don't do everything for you. What do you mean you have to do all the cooking, are you thinking into the future when you might be living with him? If that were the case maybe arrange that you only have to cook for two people x# of times a week, so you don't have it all on your shoulders. I think mostly though it is something you'll need to work out with him. Talk to each other about whta you are both willing or unwilling to do, and find a compromise.<br><br><br><br>
Anyway I have not been in that situation, I am merely speculating. One reason I chose not to live with one of my friends was because he eats meat, cannot cook, and I knew he would try to talk me into doing it all, all the time. ha! I don't think so! So yeah, I can sort of relate.<br><br><br><br>
ETA: Welcome to veggieboards! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="
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Anyway I have not been in that situation, I am merely speculating. One reason I chose not to live with one of my friends was because he eats meat, cannot cook, and I knew he would try to talk me into doing it all, all the time. ha! I don't think so! So yeah, I can sort of relate.<br><br><br><br>
ETA: Welcome to veggieboards! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="
">My husband and I have the understanding that if I'm cooking, then we eat vegetarian. If he doesn't like the food, then either I'll cook him something else vegetarian, or he'll need to forage on his own (aka order takeout). Now, the biggest difference between him and your bf is my husband will eat ANYTHING. He doesn't even ask what's in it or what it's called.<br><br><br><br>
My advice to you is for you to first think about what YOU are willing to do. Are you ok with buying and cooking meat? If you are, then there isn't a problem. If you aren't, then you need to figure out your own boundaries. Maybe you can teach him to fry a hamburger, or maybe you can't. Perhaps you can live with meat in the house, or not.<br><br><br><br>
Once you have YOU figured out, you need to sit down with your bf and find out what he's willing to do to meat (hehe) in the middle. See if he's open to experimenting with foods or learning to cook. It might be that if he wants chicken, he'll need to stop at the grocery store and pick up a hot cooked one. There are a lot of options, and the only people that can really find the best solution is you two.<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="">
My advice to you is for you to first think about what YOU are willing to do. Are you ok with buying and cooking meat? If you are, then there isn't a problem. If you aren't, then you need to figure out your own boundaries. Maybe you can teach him to fry a hamburger, or maybe you can't. Perhaps you can live with meat in the house, or not.<br><br><br><br>
Once you have YOU figured out, you need to sit down with your bf and find out what he's willing to do to meat (hehe) in the middle. See if he's open to experimenting with foods or learning to cook. It might be that if he wants chicken, he'll need to stop at the grocery store and pick up a hot cooked one. There are a lot of options, and the only people that can really find the best solution is you two.<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="
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This can sometimes be tough but it dpeends on the meat-eater & what they're willing to do. Don't cook animal products for him. Stick to your convictions & say if you want animal products he will have to take care of it himself. It's not like you should be doing all the cooking but it's true most meat-eaters don't know how to cook veggie meals. Obviously going out to eat all the time is not the answer either.<br><br>
You will have to show him the light & importance of eating veggies, I mean how does he get his vitamins & minerals?
You will have to show him the light & importance of eating veggies, I mean how does he get his vitamins & minerals?
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I agree with expansia. If you are ok cooking meat, then continue to do it. If you aren't (and it would seem that way, since you are asking this question), then you have to have a discussion with him because its not fair for you to do something you aren't comfortable with anymore.
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<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>nkace</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I mean how does he get his vitamins & minerals?</div>
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Hem either you take a part of your needs in the meat, or your body just accustoms to the small quantity of veggies and therefore will drain that much more from the only veggies you eat.<br><br>
If he's been keeping up this diet for a long time, I'd be willing to bet he's not in such a bad health.
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>nkace</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I mean how does he get his vitamins & minerals?</div>
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Hem either you take a part of your needs in the meat, or your body just accustoms to the small quantity of veggies and therefore will drain that much more from the only veggies you eat.<br><br>
If he's been keeping up this diet for a long time, I'd be willing to bet he's not in such a bad health.
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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>becca9891</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Another point is that he can't cook, so that leaves me to do all of the cooking at some point.</div>
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Can you elaborate? Is he mentally or physically impaired?
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>becca9891</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Another point is that he can't cook, so that leaves me to do all of the cooking at some point.</div>
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Can you elaborate? Is he mentally or physically impaired?
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1,061 Posts
Hi Becca!!<br><br><br><br>
My SO is a meat-eater, but he eats a lot of non-meat items as well including tofu, mock meats, soy milk, Earth Balance margarine, and egg replacer. Since we live together, we usually eat the same meals. So he eats veg about 90-95% of the time at home and within that he eats probably 75% vegan.<br><br><br><br>
What we have worked out is that if he wants meals with meat, then he cooks it. I am willing to make him non-veggie meals [to an extent] but he refuses to let me go against my principals and won't ask that of me. Usually what happens is that when we are sharing a meal together and he wants meat, he simply prepares it himself on the side and then adds it into his own dish. This works for us very well.<br><br><br><br>
Bottom line is that he is just going to have to learn to cook for himself if he wants something that you are ethically opposed to [if you are]. Additionally, I have found that preparing meat products for my SO can be quite tricky because I cannot/will not taste the food in order to season it properly. So unless he is right in the kitchen with you, his food may not be to his taste.<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
Hang~Ten
My SO is a meat-eater, but he eats a lot of non-meat items as well including tofu, mock meats, soy milk, Earth Balance margarine, and egg replacer. Since we live together, we usually eat the same meals. So he eats veg about 90-95% of the time at home and within that he eats probably 75% vegan.<br><br><br><br>
What we have worked out is that if he wants meals with meat, then he cooks it. I am willing to make him non-veggie meals [to an extent] but he refuses to let me go against my principals and won't ask that of me. Usually what happens is that when we are sharing a meal together and he wants meat, he simply prepares it himself on the side and then adds it into his own dish. This works for us very well.<br><br><br><br>
Bottom line is that he is just going to have to learn to cook for himself if he wants something that you are ethically opposed to [if you are]. Additionally, I have found that preparing meat products for my SO can be quite tricky because I cannot/will not taste the food in order to season it properly. So unless he is right in the kitchen with you, his food may not be to his taste.<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
Hang~Ten
I just wanted to jump in and agree with the others. My family is vegan, my husband only in the home. He tries to follow it outside of the home, but will occassionally have something non vegetarian while at work or business lunches or dinners. I don't nag him about it. I do all the cooking here at home (because I love it, enjoy it, and am good at it...no one told me I have to <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:"> ). Well, he recently told me that he wanted to start eating fish at home. I thought awhile about it then told him he could keep it in a special part of the freezer, but he'd have to fix it himself. He bought some easily prepared packages of frozen fish (yes, I know...factory farmed, ew) and then put them in the freezer. It's been almost a month. They're still there, untouched.<br><br><br><br>
Tiny little lesson here, I think. If he insists for some reason that you do all the cooking, he'll have to eat what you make, you can not be a short order cook for him. If you start that now and you decide to have a future with him and perhaps even children, he and the children will expect the same from you. I decided very early on since I love to cook that I do not mind preparing our meals, however, you will eat what I serve...otherwise there's PB&J you can fix yourselves. I know, it may sound mean, but I'm not I promise <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=""> . My family just knows that's our rule. Hope that helped some. Sorry if it got long.
Tiny little lesson here, I think. If he insists for some reason that you do all the cooking, he'll have to eat what you make, you can not be a short order cook for him. If you start that now and you decide to have a future with him and perhaps even children, he and the children will expect the same from you. I decided very early on since I love to cook that I do not mind preparing our meals, however, you will eat what I serve...otherwise there's PB&J you can fix yourselves. I know, it may sound mean, but I'm not I promise <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="
"> . My family just knows that's our rule. Hope that helped some. Sorry if it got long.<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Michael</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Can you elaborate? Is he mentally or physically impaired?</div>
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Good call. Is it that he can't cook or he won't cook. Sometimes people pretend that they can't do something when really they're just not willing to learn because it suits them better to have someone do it for them.
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Michael</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Can you elaborate? Is he mentally or physically impaired?</div>
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Good call. Is it that he can't cook or he won't cook. Sometimes people pretend that they can't do something when really they're just not willing to learn because it suits them better to have someone do it for them.
my husband is omnivorous. he cooks for himself and i cook meat for him. he eats tons and tons of vegetables and vegetarian meals. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=""><br><br><br><br>
it's really simple to work out. if you only want to cook vegetarian meals, then do this and he'll have to learn to cook meat. if you want to cook all the food, then he'll learn to appreciate it or not.
"><br><br><br><br>it's really simple to work out. if you only want to cook vegetarian meals, then do this and he'll have to learn to cook meat. if you want to cook all the food, then he'll learn to appreciate it or not.
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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>becca9891</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Hi everyone ! I am new to this website- I joined mainly because I wanted to find out what other people do in this situation. I am dating a man who not only eats meat, but does not eat a lot of veggies either. We have been dating for sometime and I do see it going further. Another point is that he can't cook, so that leaves me to do all of the cooking at some point. How do you handle a situation like this? I have had meat eating boyfriends in the past (all of them) and have cooked meat for them, but they have also cooked for themselves.This guy does not eat veggies and does not cook. Help!!!</div>
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Uhhh well its not your responsibility to cook him food. If you WANT to cook something for him, cook something new for him to try. If I was dating someone that wouldnt be open to trying something I cooked with veggies in it (I dont think Id cook meat for them either) I just wouldnt cook for them. Its no big deal, you dont HAVE to cook for your partner. Ive never cooked for my boyfriend, I doubt he would consider eating anything veggie.<br><br><br><br>
Do you live with this guy? If you live together, and want to eat dinner at the same time, I suggest cooking different things together (or variations of the same dish). If he isnt open to trying ANYTHING new, just dont eat together unless you go out. Thats what my guy and I do.
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>becca9891</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Hi everyone ! I am new to this website- I joined mainly because I wanted to find out what other people do in this situation. I am dating a man who not only eats meat, but does not eat a lot of veggies either. We have been dating for sometime and I do see it going further. Another point is that he can't cook, so that leaves me to do all of the cooking at some point. How do you handle a situation like this? I have had meat eating boyfriends in the past (all of them) and have cooked meat for them, but they have also cooked for themselves.This guy does not eat veggies and does not cook. Help!!!</div>
</div>
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Uhhh well its not your responsibility to cook him food. If you WANT to cook something for him, cook something new for him to try. If I was dating someone that wouldnt be open to trying something I cooked with veggies in it (I dont think Id cook meat for them either) I just wouldnt cook for them. Its no big deal, you dont HAVE to cook for your partner. Ive never cooked for my boyfriend, I doubt he would consider eating anything veggie.<br><br><br><br>
Do you live with this guy? If you live together, and want to eat dinner at the same time, I suggest cooking different things together (or variations of the same dish). If he isnt open to trying ANYTHING new, just dont eat together unless you go out. Thats what my guy and I do.
My boyfriend would never expect me to cook meat for him. Never, ever.<br><br><br><br>
I guess it all comes down to how comfortable you are with cooking it. If you are as disgusted with it as I am, then I'd hope that your boyfriend would feel the same as mine does. If he wants it, then he can cook it himself. How did he do it when you weren't in his life? Surely he has some cooking ability, as he didn't whither away and die before he started dating you.<br><br><br><br>
If he were my boyfriend and he really was entirely incapable of cooking for himself, then he'd have to learn to try new foods. It's as simple as that.
I guess it all comes down to how comfortable you are with cooking it. If you are as disgusted with it as I am, then I'd hope that your boyfriend would feel the same as mine does. If he wants it, then he can cook it himself. How did he do it when you weren't in his life? Surely he has some cooking ability, as he didn't whither away and die before he started dating you.<br><br><br><br>
If he were my boyfriend and he really was entirely incapable of cooking for himself, then he'd have to learn to try new foods. It's as simple as that.
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well, i've been on and off (currently off) with a girl for 2 years.....and she is a meat eater, but she has never, ever had a problem eating anything that i have prepared. that is one of the better parts of our friendship!
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