VeggieBoards banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i LOVE <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":love:"> my baby, Aiden! however, the little guy never seems to stop crying. He's 15 months old and i thought this would be something that would decrease with age and it's not. any suggestions? he spends monday - thursday with his grandparents while i'm at work. they are both retired and can respond to his every whimper. aghhhghhh i'm just barely hanging on here. my friend has a little girl who's 8 months and she is always content. i don't know how to make the little love happy. do i throw down the cleaning bucket and other responsibilities to follow him around all day. will he ever stop crying at every little thing??? will sanity and peace once again be mine?? OMG, got to go...he just woke up from his nap and is CRYING....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":(">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,049 Posts
the mama mantra that has gotten me through the toughest spots of having two babies has always been, "this too shall pass".<br><br><br><br>
crying can mean so many different things in little ones. i find that usually only the parents can really discern what each cry means. is he crying because he wants you to play with him? if so, then yes, i think you should forget the housework and get down on the floor, and play. remember, housework will always be there, but babies grow up and leave you some day. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"><br><br><br><br>
you may find that if you start setting aside a good amount of time to play with him each day, his neediness and crying will diminish. i think it's important that little ones learn how to play on their own, too. so maybe if you're really busy doing something else and he's started crying because he wants more attention from you, you could distract him with some kind of new or different activity. just sit down with him for a few minutes with some crayons and paper, or some pots and pans to bang, and after he becomes engrossed in the new game, get up and start doing your other things until he asks for something else. yes, it does mean you'll be interuptted frequently (esp. if he's 15 months...they aren't known for their amazing attention spans), but at least you won't have as much stress listening to his crying, and he'll know that he is your main priority because you're willing to put down whatever your doing to play with him.<br><br><br><br>
once babies start really talking, the crying phases ease up. take heart. pretty soon he'll be able to tell you exactly what's upsetting him, and you won't have to keep playing the guessing game.<br><br><br><br>
remember: "this too shall pass. this too shall pass. this too shall pass."
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Pretty much what Kreeli said <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"><br><br><br><br>
At this age (early toddlerhood), there are a lot of frustrations for children. They're mobile, but they can't reach everything they want to examine. They can communicate a little bit with you, but can't tell you exactly what they're thinking. And they don't always know exactly <i>what</i> it is that they want or need... just that they want or need <i>something</i>. No wonder we sometimes want to cry right along with them!<br><br><br><br>
(Digression on communication: I'm an advocate for signing with your baby/toddler... see <a href="http://www.sign2me.com" target="_blank">http://www.sign2me.com</a> ... it's never too late to begin, and rather than slowing language development, it actually reinforces verbal language and eases communication frustration.)<br><br><br><br>
Something else to consider: as a nanny, I've found that often "cranky" or "fussy" children are not getting sufficient sleep or have unhealthy sleep patterns. This may or may not be the case for you, but it could be a factor. I'd be interested in learning more about his sleep patterns and habits.<br><br><br><br>
As you say, it definitely could be that he's so used to being entertained by his grandparents, and not used to finding a way to cope with frustrations that pop up. There is such thing as a healthy amount of frustration--it's what inspires children to acquire new skills and learn to solve problems. For instance, if a parent/caregiver <i>always</i> helps a child figure out how to work a certain toy when it gets frustrating, the child doesn't have any impetus to figure it out for himself.<br><br><br><br>
Is Aiden mostly crying when he's out of eyeshot of you? He could be going through some separation anxiety. Play yards are great for times when you need to mop the floor and don't want him to get into the dirty water, but he wants to be within eyeballing distance of you. Some parents are opposed to <i>any</i> use of a play yard, but I think it's a matter of practicality. Certainly you don't want to overuse it, but a few minutes once or twice a day is not negligent.<br><br><br><br>
Kreeli gives great suggestions on how to transition your child into his own play explorations. And I definitely agree with her that it's important for youngsters to learn to play independently sometimes. Aiden is a very important responsibility in your life, but not the ONLY responsibility you have. This is hard for a child to understand, having little concept of time or responsibility, but it doesn't change the reality of the situation. Mommies and daddies have things they have to take care of sometimes--and remember that you have rights too.<br><br><br><br>
Perhaps you could set a timer for 5 minutes (at this age, I'd say that's quite a long time!) and say, "When the bell goes DING!, Mommy will play with you for a little bit." Then, of course, you must follow through when the bell rings, even if you're not finished with what you're doing. As Aiden becomes used to this and trusts that you will always be true to your word, you can increase the time by a minute or two, until he is able to play by himself for 20 to 30 minutes at a time a few times a day.<br><br><br><br>
Are there ways that you can involve Aiden in what you're doing? When I fold laundry, for example, I fold it on top of the table where the little girl in my care can't pull down the stacks I've folded. Then, I give her a stack of cloth diapers and talk to her about folding the clothes. She waves them around and puts them in piles and generally imitates me in her 13-month-old way. Too cute! When I'm wiping down the countertop after a meal, I give her a wet washcloth and she "wipes" her highchair tray. Maybe when you're mopping the floor, you could set him in his high chair with a sandpail of water (half an inch should suffice!)... he can spash and slosh it around, and it doesn't make that much of a difference since you've got the floor wet anyway. Just a thought.<br><br><br><br>
Also, it helps to remember that each child has a different temperament and personality. It's hard not to take the fussing personally sometimes, but your child may just have a lower threshold for frustration than, say, the 8-month-old girl you mention... especially considering that they're at very different developmental stages.<br><br><br><br>
Keep writing, especially if you need to vent some Mommy Steam <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> Let us know how things go!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you Kreeli and Molly for your fantastic advice. Most of the suggestions I do already practice, but perhaps more patience and creativty is needed on my part. He is such a sweet, sensitive, curious boy and I think that may where most of the crying evolves from. When we're at the mall for instance, he wants to touch and taste EVERYTHING. He's definately not the contented baby sitting happily in the stroller. He is extremely patient every morning and evening when we feed and clean-up after our bunnies and guinea pig. He's familiar with the routine of it all. Maybe I should implement a more scheduled day. As his mother it tears me up to see him cry and perhaps I'm just over-reacting (something I NEVER do) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> !!<br><br><br><br>
I've recently been hearing about signing with hearing children. I do know several signs (from classes taken). I don't know why I haven't been teaching him (and husband too).<br><br><br><br>
The sleep pattern suggestion is great. He's a light sleeper and has only recently (very recently) started sleeping through the night. His nap times are pretty regular though.<br><br><br><br>
Thank you again!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,902 Posts
Raine- you didn't name your baby after the Sex in the City character, did you? I'm wondering why Aiden (a very nice name) is so suddenly popular.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I've found that a schedule really does make a difference. When I say "schedule," I don't necessarily mean a rigid, by-the-clock timeframe, but rather a predictable order of events. I guess I should say "routine." Bath-time doesn't always have to be at 6:30 p.m., but it does always follow supper... and afterwards, we read quietly while snuggling... etc. It sounds like you've seen this at work already with caring for the animals.... that's a great place to start.<br><br><br><br>
Children with routines know what to expect and that helps them deal with transitions within their day. The world can be frustrating and scary sometimes, but routines help children to feel that the world isn't an entirely random, chaotic, unpredictable place. Routines are comforting. And when things DO have to change... for example, if a family member goes into the hospital... knowing the routine can help your child's caregiver provide some semblance of normalcy and continuity.<br><br><br><br>
Do Aidan's grandparents follow a routine with him? If so, maybe you can adapt it to meet your needs when you're with him on your own. Or if they don't have a routine... can you establish one (perhaps in conjunction with them) that could work for everybody concerned?<br><br><br><br>
Regarding signing--the website I mentioned promotes a particular pagckage of materials, and although do I recommend them, you obviously don't have to have them in order to sign with your baby. If you don't want to buy the "learning kit" they promote, that's totally fine--it's just mainly for reference, anyway. But do dig around on the site because there's a lot of good information in between the promos. And if you have questions, feel free to PM me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,049 Posts
molly, you're extremely knowledgeable! that was some great advice.<br><br><br><br>
thalia, if my daughter had come out a boy, his name would have been "aiden", too, but i've never watched sex in the city. have you ever looked at the US census for the most popular baby names? it's really strange how some names experience a surge in popularity and other's don't. i guess it has a lot to do with pop culture.<br><br><br><br>
i'm just glad our society got over that whole "mary, john, sally, and ralph" phase. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks, Kreeli. I think the same of you!<br><br><br><br>
One of the "new" trends in baby-naming, especially in upper-class families, is to go back to classic names! There is a rise in the number of Janes, Jacks, Roses, and Sams in well-to-do circles. Who would have predicted it?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I first heard the name Aiden about 12 years ago. It belonged to a beautiful blonde boy, and as I was dating a beautiful blonde man/boy at the time and the name stuck. And so I named the "b" after hearing the name once more (belonging to another beautiful blonde boy). I've come to find out that the name has been used on "Sex in the City", "All My Children" and the film "The Ring". Last August we attended a reunion put on by our midwives and our Aiden was not the only one there. However, most Aiden's are actually Aidan's and so the uniqueness continues **blinders on to fool myself**.<br><br><br><br>
Crying baby update: Aiden and I went to the grocery store tonight and although it was quite close to his bedtime of 8:00 p.m. he hardly fussed at all!!!!! Praise to the vegan god! **bows**<br><br><br><br>
I've already started signing to the "b" and he looks quite interested (what's that crazy lady up to know??!??). Wish me luck! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
Raine<br><br><br><br>
P.S. I married a beautiful dark man and still had a beautiful blonde boy...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Whoops! Sorry for the misspelling. I apologize. Guess I'll have to look a little more closely next time. My real name is one of those that is constantly misspelled, so I'm usually pretty careful about that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Raine,<br><br>
I would listen to Kreelie and Molly. These two are extremely knowledgeable and have answered many of my questions as a new mother.<br><br><br><br>
As for the naming I find it very interesting about names such as Jane, Rose, Sam ect... being in wel-to-do circles. We named our little guy Samuel Wayne after our grandfathers. Funny thing is if we have a girl we want to name her Rose after my mother.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
10,763 Posts
I wanted to add that some babies cry more than others. I suspect sometimes this is simply because they suffer more pain and discomfort, because they have different physical makeups and differently operating nervous systems.
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top