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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Lately he's been asking questions, repetatively bringing things up, and doing research on my lifestyle. About two months ago my vegetarianism flared up again, this happens to me every few years. I don't know why or how to explain it but I get really "into" it again. Not that I ever eat meat or slack off it's just that every few years I get involved on a new level and it just kinda takes on new importance to me.<br><br><br><br>
Anyway, it seems to have rubbed off on him. He is free to make his own choices and he wants to change some things. Oddly though, it's not things I would expect him to change. For instance, he's been reseacrhing animal issues and animal cruelty all ny himself. He tells me he hates the way the animals are treated and needs to change something to balance out this new "awareness". That's HUGE for him. I listen and these are the things he wants to change:<br><br><br><br>
- He wants to buy meat from local farmers and support better farming practices.<br><br>
- He wants to buy the meat from one animal that he "knows" has been treated well and store and freeze it to use completely.<br><br>
- He doesn't want to support factory farming anymore.<br><br><br><br>
I don't really know how to supprt this. It's better than what he's doing now cause he is a major meat-eater. When asked what he will do when we eat out, when he's at work, with friends etc., he just says he'll eat pasta and vegetarian items and do the best he can. Which includes eating meat when he feels like it.<br><br><br><br>
I'm proud of him for even doing the research. He's deffinately one of those guys that believes, incorrectly, that meat and manhood go hand in hand. I just don't know what to do with this change. He wants support and I'm trying... but it still seems... odd.<br><br><br><br>
So anyway, not really a questions here just wondering what others thought. I've been struggling with this lately and finally just wanted to put something here and see if there's any feedback for this.<br><br><br><br>
Thanx!<br><br><br><br>
Holy spelling errors Batman! Sorry about that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Boy, where is Zoebird when you need her? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/thinking.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":think:"><br><br><br><br>
First on, I think it's wonderful he's wanting to go with more humane meat. You and I both know that that's sort of an oxymoron but since he's doing research of his own, he'll find it out sooner or later, too (has he seen Meat Your Meat yet?). As for the "one animal" that he wants to "raise" then eat... erm... that might be a bit harder to pull off since cuts can be from a number of animals, not just one. I don't know if there IS such a thing as the "raise it, kill it, eat it" but everything is different in different areas so you (and he) will just have to check it out.<br><br><br><br>
In fact, that's the thing that I recommend for the both of you. Take few a weekends and explore the farms in your area. Ask as many questions as you can. Find out where the animal comes from, what happens to the males of the breed, what sort of feed they're on, what sort of treatment they get (you can tell most of that by just being on the property, but it's good to ask anyway to see if the story matches what you're seeing), etc. Since he's doing the research anyway, he might have a few farms in mind that he wants to check out. I know it'll be hard supporting him eating humane meat, but keep things positive and give him as much new information as you think he can handle (especially when it comes to information about how some Mom & Pop farms are no better than factory farms in a lot of ways, and how certain terms aren't regulated at all, but they ARE clever marketing terms that mean little to nothing).<br><br><br><br>
Like I said before, Zoebird is quite knowledgeable about this sort of stuff so IMO, her brain is the main one you want to pick on this topic. I wish you every ounce of luck there is and I hope that your fiance becomes full-on veg*n from this experience (hey, one can hope, right? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> ).
 

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When someone is heading in the right direction, I think it's best to smooth their path rather than give a big push. So I think you can be showing him the attractiveness of the veggie path while still helping him get his more humane meat.<br><br><br><br>
If you have 4-H groups in your area, you might go to a fair and bid for one of those animals. They are expensive, but the animals have been carefully hand-reared and there is a system (at least here) where the winning bidder can have the animal shipped directly to the processor. Even if you buy a regular animal from a local farmer, it is not hard (again, here in rural Missouri) to have that one animal sent for individual processing.<br><br><br><br>
Besides, if he sees the kids primping and showing their animals, it may reduce his interest in eating them anyway. It's a bit of a reality check.
 

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Meatasaurus... he he!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/chef.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":chef:"><br><br><br><br>
I think the fact he is making a change like that is great, although I understand why you can't get fully behind it... killing animals for unnecessary dietry consumption is still cruelty. But I guess its a journey. He may eventually take the next step. But even if he doesn't, I think you should accompany him to farms. This can have two possible outcomes... 1. He realises the friendly, chirping little piglets are dying for him and he'll back away from it and on to your side(!) or, and I think more likely, 2. He'll know you don't want to be there and love you even more for supporting him in something you don't like. Either way, win win!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/naughty.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":naughty:">
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
You all have some great advice! Thank you for helping me clear my mind on this issue.<br><br><br><br>
4EverGrounded- good advice. I'll have to go with him to the farms, I'm sure. Not too happy about that but I'll do it. He's not going to raise it but only cause we don't have enough room. More likely he'll pick out his animal and take it to a butcher. *shudders* He wants to try and waste as little as possible so he'll have it all cut and use as much as he can. And thanks for the suggestions on what to ask <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
Meka- "meatasaurus" is just what I call him. Meat-a-saurus...like he's some kind of dinosaur lol. He's a typical Omni and it's not a special term <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
Bios- That's a good idea... 4H clubs. I hadn't thought of that. We just watched Charlotte's Web and it had both of us a little teary (well... you know, he was uh... slicing onions and had a contact issue). He did 4H when he was a kid and knows about that so I'll suggest we check it out. Thanx!<br><br><br><br>
vawney- lol... I hope he loves me more because I do this stuff for him. Really though, he knows it's a big deal to me and is sensitive about it. It's his journey, like you said, and I'll support him through whatever path he takes.<br><br><br><br>
I have to say this though, me hoping that he will have some great realization is far fetched. I’m trying to find ways to subtly tell him things without being pushy or overbearing. He raised and slaughtered pigs as a kid. He did 4H, he had a farm, he ate Wilbur- lol. He saw "meet your meat" and he was affected by it... but then picked up a steak sub 30 minutes later. I know he's changing it's just not what I would expect anyone to do. He is still eating factory meat everyday. It's odd to me but I keep quiet. He's picking up a big freezer this weekend and we'll have to go check out his options. It’s still so difficult though.<br><br><br><br>
Again, thanx for the replies <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> I really really appreciate it.
 

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Baby steps, baby steps! Each one is a step in the right direction! This reminds me of the day my husband was cleaning the living room and happened to pick up my "vegetarian starter kit" from PETA. You know, that little magazine thing. If you've seen it, or been on PETA's site, you know the story about the cow who broke her hips or both back legs or something and was just left with no water..yadda yadda, I'll go find the link here in a second. Anyway, he sat down and read it, and then come to find me to tell me all about how SAD it was! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":love:"> I love my hubby!
 

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Oh, my bad, it was goveg.com not, PETA. Anyway, here is the link for the story I'm talking about.<br><br><br><br><a href="http://www.goveg.com/downedcow.asp" target="_blank">http://www.goveg.com/downedcow.asp</a>
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Awww! What a great guy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> and yes, I've seen the veg starter kit on the site. It's an wesome resource!<br><br><br><br>
Oh I hear the baby steps... and I'm glad to see them. It's just an interesting turn that I wasn't prepared for. I'm incredibly proud of him for doing this on his own. Well.... I offer information when he wants it but I do not push him, he certainly isn't Alone in this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
He knows a lot about the industry and knows that vegetarianism doesn't have to be hard or lacking or boring. I make a point to cook things he likes and veg*nize them for me so he can tatse how good it is. Plus, he sees that I eat tons of delicous meals without getting fat- lol. Makes him jealous <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
I'm might get slammed for saying this but I've always put him in this "bubble". I don't judge him or make him feel bad for his eating choices and we live harmoniously because of it. But with him talking about things lately and trying to have AR disccions with me I find it very very hard to stay on his side and remain non-judgemental about things.<br><br><br><br>
For instance: He brings up how wrong the way they treat animals is and how awful and cruel it is. He gives examples of things he's learned and what needs to be changed in the factory farm industry and what he wants to do to balance out his personal issues with it. He goes on and on with this about how unbelievably wrong it is.... and then eats a pork chop, or a steak sub. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/huh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":confused:"> I can't help but see the hypocracy and I want to say things that I shouldn't. Which is tough cause we talk about everything and have stellar communication so he knows when I'm biting my toungue. So I'm a little stuck here...<br><br><br><br>
Thanx for the encouragement <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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That's great.<br><br><br><br>
The meatrix website should be a great resource for him. <a href="http://www.meatrix.com/" target="_blank">http://www.meatrix.com/</a><br><br>
When you click on "Get Involved" you're taken to sights that talk about sustainable farming, healthier meat sources, etc. Which includes the site <a href="http://www.eatwellguide.com" target="_blank">www.eatwellguide.com</a> that lets you search for restaurants, stores, and farms that only sell non-factory-farm meats.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thankx! I'll have to show him that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> He's really big on the sustainable living side and doesn't want to eat factory farmed animals anymore. So maybe that could be a good resource for him... again, thanx!
 

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I didn't realise he slaughtered his own pigs... sounds as if veggie is null and void for him! But everyone has made much more useful suggestions. Let us know how it goes xx
 

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I don't really have any advice for you, but I wanted to say it's good he's making a change and it's great that you're doing your best to support him even though it's strange for you to 'support' eating meat. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Personally, I think every meat eater who refuses to go veg (or who can't for health reasons) should do what your "meatasaurus" is doing. Back it 100%, even if it's weird, and tell him that it's good he wants to even do this... there are far too many people who wouldn't even consider it.
 

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Beachbnny "I'm proud of him for even doing the research. He's deffinately one of those guys that believes, incorrectly, that meat and manhood go hand in hand. I just don't know what to do with this change. He wants support and I'm trying... but it still seems... odd."<br><br><br><br>
It seems to me that if you are an attractive woman, I don't just mean physically attractive in general, but also attractive as a significant other, to him, then by sticking with him while he believes that meat and manhood go together, you are reinforcing this idea. Something about him is obviously attracting <i>you.</i> The more desirable you are, to him, as a feminine being, and the more you stick with him, the more he will perceive that he is doing something right, by continuing to do what he is doing.<br><br><br><br>
If you are someone who he has no chemistry with, and he doesn't much care about, then it makes no difference whether you stick with him or not. But otherwise, I think you are reinforcing this idea that meat and manhood go hand in hand.<br><br><br><br>
I think that if you want to continue your relationship with him, you just have to accept him the way he is. That means continuing to "bite your tongue."
 
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