[oregoncoastWill]

Im sure I am doing this all wrong, I havent introduced myself yet. I have been reading these boards for a year now. I finally felt like posting because of something that happened yesterday. I figured you would all be interested. SO Ive been seeing this guy for 6 months, and everything was wonderful blah blah blah.. long story short out of nowhere yesterday he broke up with me- and heres the best part- His excuse? He told me it was because im vegan and he isnt....

That is seriously the stupidest thing Ive ever heard come out of his mouth. I have been vegan almost a year which was well before I met him and he knew all about it. he has always been supportive of it and it has never been an issue whatsoever!

Just thought someone else might want to laugh at the cowardly excuse he came up with that was an insult to my intelligance. And now im going to go back to crying my eyeballs out and wallowing in the self-loathing misery of being single again- HAppy thanksgiving......

 

[Jessica Alana]

I don't mean to sound blunt, but..ah well..I am.

If you're miserable being single, you should probably work on yourself before getting into a relationship becase you're getting into them for all the wrong reasons. They're not going to work that way.

I don't know what kind of person you are, or what kind of vegan. Maybe he felt you were pushy about your veganism and he had enough. Maybe it was just a cop out and it was really another reason. Maybe it was just time for the relationship to be over, and he felt he had to give you a reason, so he picked that one. Who knows? Don't worry about it. Cry, grieve, whatever. Then focus on getting your own **** together. You won't be happy with anyone if you aren't happy with yourself.

ETA: ok..i'm sorry. I was trying not to point it out, but I always find it amusing when people misspell intelligence. Especially in "Insulting my intelligence."

 

[meatless]

aww, sorry to hear that Will.

Of course, if the issue was truly that you're vegan and he's not, it is easily overcome by him going vegan.

Which leads me to think there are probably other reasons he just hasn't told you about.

 

[oregoncoastWill]

I actually am happy with myself im just reeling from shock and still sorting things out in my head. I really am not miserable being alone, im just hurt and trying to get used to suddenly not having him around. It was definately a cop out, I am not pushy at all- My children even eat meat. I never push my beliefs on others which is part of why his excuse was so ridiculous to me.

yeah the spelling thing is pretty ironic and it looks pretty dumb to misspell that word especially but I type faster than I think, watch me I misspell all kinds of words!

 

[Jessica Alana]

Maybe now you'll find yourself a nice vegan man.

 

[oregoncoastWill]

I should also point out here that he was vegan for awhile in the past.

Also- my name is Willow, it wouldnt fit in the title! (Im not a man)

 

[Vegan Joe]

You were too good for him anyway!

Just think of the possibilities.

 

[jojob1969]

Can't think of anything to say that won't sound too cliche and that no one in you situation really wants to hear. I'll just send you a hug instead.

 

[Pandora]

It must hurt alot right now Will, I hope you'll give yourself some time to heal.

Breaking up with someone because of them being vegan is pretty insane, but then, not everyone is openminded to other people's lifestyles...

Perhaps in the end this wasn't such a bad thing and you'll find someone more likeminded or open... not like you want to hear that from me right now, but just trying to show some light on positive things.

Take care of yourself

 

[Lord Hillyer]

Take it as a blessing, Willow. If you hadn't been Vegan, you might have been much more involved with him before you found out he is shallow. I'm sure you'll find someone much better.

 

[Lord Hillyer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica Alana

I don't mean to sound blunt, but..ah well..I am.

If you're miserable being single, you should probably work on yourself before getting into a relationship becase you're getting into them for all the wrong reasons. They're not going to work that way.

I don't know what kind of person you are, or what kind of vegan. Maybe he felt you were pushy about your veganism and he had enough. Maybe it was just a cop out and it was really another reason. Maybe it was just time for the relationship to be over, and he felt he had to give you a reason, so he picked that one. Who knows? Don't worry about it. Cry, grieve, whatever. Then focus on getting your own **** together. You won't be happy with anyone if you aren't happy with yourself.

ETA: ok..i'm sorry. I was trying not to point it out, but I always find it amusing when people misspell intelligence. Especially in "Insulting my intelligence."

If you don't have anything nice to say, perhaps you should keep your opinions to yourself on these kind of threads.

 

[Jessica Alana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord Hillyer

If you don't have anything nice to say, perhaps you should keep your opinions to yourself on these kind of threads.

Honesty isn't always nice. Feel free to put me on ignore.

 

[tiggybrown]

Willow, I have to say I am afraid of that happening my boyfriend is not vegan and that would be so hurtful if that happened. You are probably better off without someone like him, if he is going to end the relationship over something like you being vegan, it probably was not meant to be. Now you can move on and find the right guy instead of wasting your time with the wrong guy. Good luck and I am sending you a hug.

 

[DoveInGrey]

((hugs you tight and sends u wishes of hope for the future)) i can't think of anything else to say that isn't cliche. There aren't that many fish in the sea- (we all know better than anyone that fish stocks could be depleted by 2048) and vegans are few and far between- I only know fellow vegans from online! So my only other advice to you would be, if you decide that you would be happier dating a fellow vegan when you feel ready to date again, try meeting vegans from online veggie matchmaking sites, google for some in your area.

*goes off on tangent*Tiggybrown- me too-I'm afraid of that happening if my boyfriend ever starts back eating meat again (he went lo-vegetarian after moving in with me) that I would naturally be disappointed and it'd lead to arguments although I'll try to hide my feelings (at his omnivorism)as best I can so long as he is respectful of my veganism, because I do love him. I just draw the line at ever eating meat again myself, and if anyone doesn't like that then maybe it's time I tried a veggie intro site!

 

[oregoncoastWill]

I am and always will be an equal opportunity lover. I dont care if other people eat meat, There is no way I will do it though. I respect other people's opinions, I only ask for them to respect mine. It turns out that he doesn't want to break up with me, he wants to string me along while he asks other women out because he feels we are too close to being married and then says that my veganism creates a gulf between us - But Its never seemed that way to me, I could not be more low maintanance about the issue. Its just a bizzarre excuse he is using, I am starting to see that he has issues I cannot even begin to understand.

I am hurt though, I am lost, because it came so out of the blue- He was romatically proclaiming to love me just the night before. Part of me can look down on the situation and see that I deserve better and I should tell him that but I still love him and Dont know what to do. It just hurts! Ive been crying for 3 days, Im trying to tell myself to move on, its just hard, Im used to talking to him every night.

Im sorry im just whining now, and rambling, I just don't know how to deal with this very well. Thanks for the replies, it helps it really does.

 

[Jessica Alana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by oregoncoastWill

I am starting to see that he has issues I cannot even begin to understand.

.

 

[jojob1969]

Quote:

Originally Posted by oregoncoastWill

It turns out that he doesn't want to break up with me, he wants to string me along while he asks other women out because he feels we are too close to being married and then says that my veganism creates a gulf between us

So this guy wants basically just wants to cheat on you and then tries to blame it on you because your vegan. What a jerk.

Quote:

Originally Posted by oregoncoastWill

I deserve better and I should tell him that

Couldn't have said it better myself. Easier said than done though.

 

[truepeacenik]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica Alana

ETA: ok..i'm sorry. I was trying not to point it out, but I always find it amusing when people misspell intelligence. Especially in "Insulting my intelligence."

not all intellegence is related to spelling. My father, a retired aerospace engineer, has mediocre spelling.

I'm a reporter and have to scan over a couple times with my copy. I still miss stuff, especially when at the crossroads of variant English spellings (I attended school in three English-speaking countries).

Will, I'm thinking that the former partner was never quite comfortable with your veganism, and it was one of many things that didn't connect for him.

Perhaps , for him, it was a constant issue: where can you go out, what would an appropriate gift be, and such.

 

[truepeacenik]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord Hillyer

If you don't have anything nice to say, perhaps you should keep your opinions to yourself on these kind of threads.

actually, until the ETA, she had some points.

 

[danakscully64]

I know this is going to sound cliche and it's been said already here, but the guy isn't worth it if he won't accept you for you. My boyfriend of almost 2 years accepts me as a vegetarian (I've been one longer than I've known him) and even encourages me to stay that way. He wants nothing more than for me to be happy and he knows that being a vegetarian does that. Here's the problem... he's actually saying he would be so mad at me if I became a vegan because its "too extreme" in his mind. But to be honest, it's more than just animal rights, the idea of eating dairy and eggs is beginning to make me sick. I know he'll never break up with me, but it could cause some problems in our relationship if I make the final leap. I don't think I could give up dairy ice cream though... yummmmmmm