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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
First of all, sorry, i haven't posted in quite some time. very busy etc.
I broke up with my boyfriend today..ex boyfriend actually.
i was the one who broke up with him. but i'm woried that i could change my mind if i see him suffer or something like that.
if you have any advice on how to stay strong please share
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmen View Post

First of all, sorry, i haven't posted in quite some time. very busy etc.
I broke up with my boyfriend today..ex boyfriend actually.
i was the one who broke up with him. but i'm woried that i could change my mind if i see him suffer or something like that.
if you have any advice on how to stay strong please share
Oh hang in there! Keep away from facebook or songs/ that remind you of him. :hugs:
 

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awes

im a firm believer in what's meant to be will be <3
just keep your distance for a while if you think you made a mistake after then talk to him about fixing the reasons why your broke up..maybe?
goodluck!
 

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I am really sorry. I went through this in January (in fact I think I remember you writing some nice posts in my thread about it).... I know the pain you must be going through.

What I can say is that it definitely gets better. I couldnt even look at his name in January and now I have one of his emails in my inbox and I havent even felt the need to move it somewhere I cant see it like I would have done months ago.

I would never have believed it earlier this year, but time really does heal! But as the above poster says it is good to take measures on Facebook, such as blocking his newsfeed etc, try and get time away from him and time for yourself.

You may feel that there is a huge gap in your life and it takes a long time to fill it but in time you will not feel this way...

I guess I am adjusted to being single now, and strangely I dont want another boyfriend at the moment, I just want some more friends...

Anyway stay strong, (((((((((hugs)))))))))) from someone 10 months after a bad breakup.....
 

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My wife went through a difficult breakup prior to meeting me, guy wanted to marry her and everything. We're both happy as hell she made that decision 25+ years ago.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you all for what you wrote. as for facebook i don't have an account...i'm a freak ...i know
the problem is that tomorrow morning he will come to pick up the rest of his stuff and i don't know how i will react. he will be sad and will try to talk to me about this... i'm scared that i will take him back...he wasn't the main reason i broke up with him..just a lot of other crap...that just makes me so angry and unhappy
 

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Originally Posted by danakscully64 View Post

Hi Carmen!
for you. We're here for you if you need us!
Seconded. Sorry to hear you're going through this. Do something nice for yourself, and try to get friends to be silly and distracting at you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
well....i have a lot of problems regarding him if someone could actually bear to listen to them.
First of all...money...don't get me wrong, i'm not a gold digger...but all of our money goes to paying his debts. ok,...i understand he's not a drunkie or a gambler or something like that...but it's still his fault and responsability and i am tired of having to suffer because of that. for almost 3 years i had no money for myself...sometimes not even for food. it's all we can afford ..saving money for his prolems and buying food..if we can afford food...
then...there's his family...i don't want to cut them off...but come on...when his sister and his brother have problems he leaves everything and runs off to help them. i had enough of being second...even when i had my problems first he took care of their problems and after that he helped me. and he justifies that by the fact that his father asks him to help them...ok...help them they are your family.but when you leave me waiting to go pay their bills because they are too lazy it's not ok. i would understand if they had real problems but they are mature now and you are not their mommy. one friend of mine said that we were to get married he would change. i don't wish to be married and have kids and wait for my husband to stop going to pay the bills of his sister who is only one year younger than him.
and i'm not really satisfied ....in the bed...i don't want to seem shallow but i'm young ..i need some good sex too.
and we are quite different...i'm the type that reads and likes going to the opera..and he...he only reads the newspaper and his idea of a good time is to play some stupid pc games. i also enjoy gaming but sometimes i would like to have a more serious chat. i tried on several occasion to have a nice talk over diner.. but he likes to watch tv shows while eating...so...honey if you like to have dinner with the simpsons have marge simpson cook your damn food. i'm not just a cooking and washing machine and a **** (poor as it is...).
despite of all that he's a nice guy but i don't think i can base an entire life together solely on his good nature. ....
 

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Yeah, you're making the right decision (says random guy from the internet, lol).

Money is a huge issue in relationships, if you aren't both on the same page this alone is worth bailing over.
Playing second fiddle to his family, ugggghhh. It won't change, ever.
The bed thing... inexperience and lack of communication, but mute point, see one and two above.
The different interests thing, not insurmountable if there is enough other common ground, but again see one and two above.

I've known too many peeps over the years who didn't listen to their inner selves when things weren't quite right and stayed in relationships, got married, had kids and ended up with way more heartache and headaches than they would have ending it sooner.

Good luck.
 

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I think your reasons for ending the relationship are understandable. If you are having these problems pre-marriage it will only get worse after marriage... so it is better to look for someone with more compatibility. And if someone has a complicated financial situation it is better not to live with them until they have everything sorted...

I think it is very important to share some interests otherwise you both just end up doing everything seperately. This was a problem in my last relationship.
 

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I'm sorry to hear this. I think you are breaking up with him for the right reason, though. You might tell him why you did this, so the next person in his life won't go through the same thing. Good luck with everything. Oh, if you want more friends, try meetup.com. I'm on that, and it helps me get out of the house.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
so this morning he came and took the rest of his stuff. i helped him with that ...but i also said a few mean things because he kept insisting that if i need something i should call him. i told him that unlike him i am able to manage alone. he asked me to reconsider my decision and i told him i wouldn't. this break up was pretty amiable and i hope i will be strong enough.
one event made me realize that i took the right decision. i went with him to his sisters house to take some stuff i had there. he asked his brother to come and help him carry his thing and his brother told him that he shouldn't disturb him. he was watching a ****ing tv show so he had all the time in the world he just didn't want to. meanwhile their father was calling my ex on the phone to tell him to go fix his brothers car because his brother won't budge. how nice....what stupid people and parents...
then he took me back ..we chatted a bit...it made me sad but i didn't give him any hope. after he left i cried a little and then i started organizing my stuff...that helped me and now i am quite ...calm...i think it's the best word...
 
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